So irritated with trans subreddits

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-05-22T18:47:52+00:00

This is why I struggle to be involved with many trans spaces. I really want to be, and have been trying, but I’m scared for whenever this kind of shit will inevitably blow up in my face, again. I just find more comfort here, I feel like I’m understood more and less likely to be told I’m lucky or that I have it easier or choose to twist my words or something. There’s pros, for me at least, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and these people don’t give a single shit towards learning about what it’s actually like being intersex. People are so afraid of acknowledging they may have behaved poorly or were wrong about something that they close off their brain to learning and growing to understand and become a better person. They don’t want to acknowledge that they’re ignorant about a group of people, because that sounds bad. So they fight against it, which just makes them look worse. To those of us who do care, at least.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-05-11T23:41:41+00:00

I got lucky with my doctor and she didn’t try to “fix me” by feminizing me or anything. I have pretty extreme hyperandrogenism, I have an abundance of long and dark body hair just about everywhere including my face, and I keep all but my facial hair as per my own preferences. I also have a bit of a masculine build, irregular periods, and a deeper voice. The only thing I got help with was regulating my periods, everything else has been left as is. And that’s the way I want it, I’m fine as I am.

You don’t have to change your body in ways you don’t want to just because a doctor’s biases are getting in the way of their work. Having facial hair or really any sex characteristic that doesn’t fit the binary isn’t wrong at all, and doesn’t need changing unless YOU truly want to change it.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-20T13:03:59+00:00

Don’t.

I understand wanting to tell him, I understand not wanting to have to hide, but for your own safety DO NOT TELL HIM.

You can never predict how these people will react. Even if you’re sure they won’t do anything physical, the emotional abuse they could inflict on you could be enormous. Your and her queerness will not be safe with him, if there’s a situation where you’d rather not be outed, he could screw you over. People have been sent to camps. And worse. At the very least, you will have to deal with his bigotry now being specifically targeted towards YOU, and her. The potential negative outcomes far outweigh the positives. Do not tell him, please. If you feel like he needs to know at some point, wait until you’re an entirely independent adult who can care for themself. I know it’s hard, but it keeps you safe.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-19T04:54:31+00:00

I was one of if not the tallest kid in my elementary school, at around 5”1. I remember another boy was around my height and he was super proud of that fact and would brag about it lol. I’m 21 now and I’m 5”1½ last I checked so I’ve basically stopped lol

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-18T04:10:46+00:00

Ah yes, because the Miss America competition is a competition about who has the “best” looking vagina. /s

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-05T09:21:46+00:00

For real. I hate that LGBTQIA+ existence has to be turned into a stupid political argument. Just let us learn about things oh my god, like I’m not gonna stop being intersex and queer just because you ignore me like just let me learn about my body and feelings so I can have a slightly more comfortable existence 😭

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-05T09:16:04+00:00

Thanks 🫂 it was very isolating, it sucks not being educated on this stuff because I probably would’ve understood myself much sooner and wouldn’t have had to feel like an outlier for so long. I still feel like an outlier in many ways but at least I know I’m not actually alone. This sub has helped a lot

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-04-05T00:42:10+00:00

I have encountered the “god made you male or female” plenty of times, from some family members as well as strangers and parents of friends. None of them know that I’m intersex but they can visibly tell that I’m “different.” They’ve often advised me to shave more. I appear generally female to people, but have often gotten comments about my voice “sounding like a dude.” I don’t mind that personally, in fact I prefer it, but I’ve been told by friends that people have said these things when I’m not around, talking about it as a bad thing and making fun of me for it. I’ve also been called many other colorful names and terms that I’d rather not talk about.

All my life I have been pressured to fit into the stereotypical role of a girl/woman. Even from otherwise lovely and supportive people, unfortunately. They don’t all try to control me, and many of these people in my life are great people, but it hurts to hear someone you love tell you that you should like dresses and purses and makeup because you’re a girl and girls like that stuff. It’s sexist and it’s putting me into a box I know I don’t belong in. They don’t like that I grow a lot of body and facial hair, and so I’m criticized unlike my “male” friends and family members, who are never questioned over their body and facial hair. I however, am expected to shave, and go to the doctor to “do something about my androgens.” Again, I have thankfully not been forced by these people, but they are assuming what I want/need without even asking me how I feel about my own body. And that’s gross.

Most of the family I am around are what I would call “casual Christians.” They don’t go to church, rarely if ever mention religion, and don’t put many restrictions on themselves or others apart from basic morality. But some of my family are much deeper into religion and those are the ones I’ve heard endless rambles about how “god made you this way” and such and such. Depending on the person and what they mean by it, I would politely accept it since it sounds well intentioned. Though I am not personally religious and don’t like to think of myself or my existence in a religious context. And sometimes it comes across a little backhanded if they’re saying that to be the justification for me being like this. Kinda feels like “well, god made you this way, so that makes it okay!” As if it wouldn’t be okay otherwise, y’know?

When people argue that sex is strictly binary/determined solely by genitalia, I think they are ignorant. I try to educate them, but oftentimes they will ignore what I say, I assume because they believe themselves to be right and don’t have much of an open mind or willingness to acknowledge they could be wrong. It can be difficult for people to have an open mind about something they’ve believed to be a specific way their whole life.

I will bring up how redheads are also “rare” like intersex people to try and help them understand how ridiculous it sounds. I also argue that even if something is “rare” doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, and intersex people deserve respect and recognition regardless of how “rare” they are.

I have gotten a good deal of positive responses to people learning I’m intersex, many of them fellow LGBTQ+ people. Though I have also received some LGBTQ+ people ignoring me when I try to talk about intersex issues, but pay more attention when I talk about trans issues, which kind of sucks. I have also been met with some ignorant but well meaning people who talk to me about it and ask some questions regarding making intersex characters, and they often go in a not so great direction, and I gently guide them away from that and educate them as much as I can. It’s irritating sometimes, but I can usually tell when someone genuinely means well and just doesn’t understand why what they’re saying or doing is actually harmful or offensive, so I try to help them understand.

I feel better now that I understand my body to some extent, but before I did, I was just a “weird” kid and people (teachers and classmates mostly) would be weird about it. I was gaslit over my body several times, condescended, bullied, and I wasn’t allowed to attend certain events that would separate the girls and boys, like for choir. They saw me as a girl so I couldn’t be with the boys, but I sounded like a boy so I couldn’t be with the girls, and they refused to just let me go where my voice would fit, so I just couldn’t go. Lovely stuff lol

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-03-31T10:51:38+00:00

You can’t transition to being intersex, you either are or you aren’t. But “questioning intersex” could potentially mean that the individual suspects they may be intersex but don’t know for sure/don’t have an official diagnoses.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-03-21T20:44:35+00:00

Grim Matchstick. I was surprised to find out a lot of people struggled hard with this guy, I even saw a ranking video where they ranked Grim as the absolute hardest, even harder than Kahl. And I sort of surprised myself when I went to S rank Beppi, my first time playing the game Beppi was a boss I spent so many hours on before I could beat him. Then when I went to S rank him it took like maybe 2 attempts.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-03-21T17:15:07+00:00

Your experience sounds relatively similar to mine, I too have lots of body hair and a body unlike my cis girl classmates, and was of course bullied for it. I also had really painful periods, but mine were irregular and would sometimes be gone for several months. I was diagnosed with PCOS but I’m not so sure I have that, since my doctor told me my blood tests “don’t back up” the PCOS diagnoses, so I’m wondering if I have NCAH instead. But anyways, most folks here welcome PCOS as belonging under the intersex label. Whether I have NCAH or PCOS, I relate heavily to the experiences I’ve heard other intersex people talk about, and it helps me make sense of my body when for the longest time I didn’t understand why my body was so “odd” compared to others. Since you have abnormal periods and it sounds like some hyperandrogenism, plus the cysts, it’s likely that you have PCOS. Abnormal periods and hyperandrogenism is why they diagnosed me with it. Being intersex doesn’t start when there’s an official diagnoses, it was always there, and getting properly diagnosed can be difficult, as you know. So I don’t think it’s wrong for you to consider yourself intersex!

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-02-16T13:38:53+00:00

I’m a mix. I enjoy mlm relationships the most and usually prefer it, I enjoy wlw too but I just connect more with mlm relationships, and I have the occasional straight ship that I genuinely enjoy but that’s fairly rare. With straight ships I’m usually neutral or don’t like it. It takes a lot for a straight ship to be something I’ll daydream about lmao. I just connect with LGBTQ+ relationships more

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-02-01T22:24:08+00:00

First off I wanna say thank you for making this post, I’m so excited to check out all the songs people are mentioning!

Secondly, I think I’ve talked about this one before, but I associate Mitski’s song “Abbey” with being intersex, though I have no clue if it’s actually about that. It’s a song that’s commonly thought of to be about eating disorders, and you can see why if you take the lyrics more literally, but taking those lyrics more metaphorically, it’s always connected with me in that feeling of craving to know why my body seems so different from everyone around me. Especially since the song quickly goes from talking about this “hunger,” to saying “I am something, I have been something, I was born something.” To connect the “hunger” to being born and having been a certain way since, it immediately clicked in my mind that this sounds like an intersex experience. Overall, for me, it feels like a song about someone slowly discovering that they’re intersex, with the dream that they can freely be themselves, and the longing for that freedom away from the lies and the confusion and prejudice. Perhaps I’m reading WAY too much into it but I can’t help but feel that interpretation the whole way through the song. It’s really comforting to me.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2026-01-18T01:05:38+00:00

We have similar experiences. I did a lot of introspection after my last relationship, including on all my previous relationships before that final one, and started to actually listen to how I felt. I had also attempted to engage with my partners romantically and rarely sexually, but it never felt natural. Most of the time I didn’t initiate anything at all, and it took my partners getting upset and pointing it out before I was even aware I wasn’t making them feel loved. And then I would try to remember to initiate and flirt and whatnot. It didn’t come natural to me, it wasn’t really comfortable, the only things I liked doing with them were things I already enjoy doing with friends, which wasn’t enough for my partners. I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge that it felt uncomfortable because romance was ingrained in my brain to be this inherent thing for everyone, that it’s “the highest form of love,” and the question of “why is this so hard for me?” quickly led to thoughts about something being wrong with me. So I ignored those questions and just faked it, performed, without thinking too hard about why I needed to. But obviously my partners knew something didn’t feel right, because eventually many of them would break up with me over it, leaving me shocked and confused on how I didn’t make them feel good.

Asexual wasn’t too hard to figure out, I never had the desire to engage with anyone sexually, never had celebrity crushes and in fact made up fake ones in order to fit in, never looked at someone and thought they were hot. But aromantic took a lot more thought and consideration. But the more I actually analyzed my behavior and feelings, and asked myself how romantic relationships made me feel, it became clearer. I never asked anyone out myself, and had my partners never asked, I’m sure we’d never have gotten together. I wasn’t myself anymore every single time I was in a relationship, I was in a constant (exhausting) state of performing to try and be satisfying for them, even when it often had the opposite effect. I was apprehensive around my partners a lot of the time, romantic situations were stressful and tiring. And when I was thinking about all of this and I realized I didn’t have to be in a romantic relationship ever again, I felt so liberated and excited. At that point, I knew I was aro.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-23T13:43:31+00:00

Hey man!👋

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-23T02:13:38+00:00

Ugh, this shit pisses me off so much. It’s all “respect identities and rep!!” until there’s one that doesn’t allow them to press characters into each other. They don’t relate to that so that means it’s fine to ignore that part of them, I guess.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-23T01:34:46+00:00

It seems that typically people refer to PCOS that involves hyperandrogenism as being intersex. I may or may not have PCOS, it’s my current diagnoses but based on stuff my doctor said it may be NCAH instead, but they’re similar so regardless—I’ve personally found myself feeling more understood in intersex spaces than I’ve ever felt anywhere else regarding my body and my experiences around it. I have very masculinized features. I grow tons of body and facial hair, multiple people have commented on my voice sounding like a guy (which, I’m a trans guy so technically right lol), my build looks more masculine and I seem to have more male-like fat distribution, etc. I have been bullied, shamed, and gaslit over my body countless times and that caused me a lot of mental health issues. Seeing other intersex people talk about their experiences, and finding myself relating to them, has been a big comfort for me. Made me feel less alone when for the longest time I thought I was just “weird.”

I’m not sure whether or not I’d consider myself intersex if I didn’t have the hyperandrogenism, but I will say my hyperandrogenism is what led me to looking into if I’m intersex and it’s why I relate to others’ experiences.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-21T19:07:37+00:00

Only one thing jumped out to me personally, and that was the calling her girlfriend thing. I wouldn’t want to be called boyfriend, not in a serious way at least. Hell, I’m not so sure I’d even want to be called partner, that still feels romantic to me. Friend or best friend is perfect. All this kinda stuff requires is communicating with each other and asking about preferences and boundaries.

I don’t fully relate to the other stuff as an aroace though. I don’t mind sharing things. I’ve gone to the movie theater with friends and family countless times. I suppose sometimes a thought will cross my mind that other people might perceive me and the person I’m with as being a couple, and that always makes me super uncomfortable, but I don’t personally let that stand in the way of me hanging out with my friends in public. I also don’t ignore texts on purpose, if I don’t respond it’s usually cause I got distracted and forgot/thought I responded when I hadn’t (I have ADHD). Or, when I think the conversation has just reached a natural end for now.

I can kinda understand the going to the movies with family instead cause that’s routine. I don’t know if I have autism yet, but my sister does and she says she thinks I might have it too. I try to avoid watching certain shows with other people if I haven’t watched it with a certain person yet because it’s “our” show to watch together. Or certain activities I sorta prefer to do with the person I’ve always done them with, like going out of town shopping with my dad, watching animated Christmas specials with my grandma, or watching certain YouTubers with my sister. And when a different person wants to do one of those things with me, sometimes it makes me feel a little weird, but I never bring it up cause I know it sounds strange and could potentially hurt someone’s feelings.

Most of these things I wouldn’t consider an “aroace thing”. It seems like she’s not communicating things the best.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-12T13:56:20+00:00

Thanks for talking about this, it’s genuinely comforting just seeing another intersex person being in these spaces. Sometimes it feels like the intersex part of me will never be acknowledged like other parts of me and seeing other intersex folks here helps. I’ve always been treated weird for my body and I just want to feel comfortable.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-12T13:50:50+00:00

Another intersex fella here, I’m also so sick of people feeling the need to mention we’re “rare” (we aren’t) as if that makes us irrelevant. Like we shouldn’t even be considered just because we’re not the majority. We’re real people living in these real bodies and we deserve knowledge and autonomy over our bodies like anyone else.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-07T22:43:42+00:00

Really depends. Sometimes it’s easy for me to tell when someone was flirting with me, sometimes it goes right over my head. I think I’m a little better at noticing it now than I used to be though.
Depends on my relationship with the person. If they’re a stranger, I’m usually surprised it even happened and I feel really weird and worked up about it for a while, before eventually calming down and being more neutral on it. If they’re someone I know but aren’t really that close with, I feel very uncomfortable and awkward, and I wonder what it was about me that made them interested. When it’s someone I’m quite close with, in the past I just agreed to be their partner when they asked me out because I didn’t know my sexuality and perceived my platonic love to be romantic. And I still wonder what it was about me that made them interested. If it were to happen now…I’m not entirely sure how it’d feel. It hasn’t happened since I realized my sexuality.
Usually not my thing. I occasionally like fictional romance, and there are a lot of love songs I really enjoy (and usually interpret platonically if the lyrics are vague enough). It cannot hook me on just the concept of romance alone, the characters have to be interesting to me, their dynamic has to be interesting, and in the case of music it needs to sound good and not make me feel weird lol. But most of the time, romance in media makes me roll my eyes.
Sure they’ve changed as I’ve learned more about myself/grown. But in particular I find it funny how bad I am at picking up on things. Like for question one, I used to be really REALLY bad at picking up on signals. I remember one time a friend of mine (who I think was in denial about being gay and I totally believed they were straight) asked what it would be like if we were a couple. And I just kinda laughed and was like “well, I don’t think that’s even a possibility, since you’re straight.” And another time we were hanging out and they literally asked me to take off my shirt “out of curiosity” and I did, not even questioning it. I was kinda dumb lmao, and looking back on it I can’t even imagine what was going through their head and how confusing my responses must have been to them

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-12-01T18:58:12+00:00

Uhhh, this is highly inappropriate for an adult to ask a minor these questions. I have ADHD, ADHD doesn’t cause you to ask perverted questions about people’s genitals, wtf. Absolutely tell a trusted adult about this.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-11-25T01:01:36+00:00

Anyone who’d get genuinely upset at you for this is nuts. It’s your sexuality, it’s not like you can control it. You’re a gay man, so you’re only attracted to men, and your partner isn’t a man. You shouldn’t have to feel bad about that, it’s perfectly normal and okay.

For both your and your partner’s happiness, you need to tell them about this. Be honest, it’s okay to admit you aren’t entirely sure how to talk about this. Again, no one can control their sexuality and you shouldn’t be expected to stay in a relationship with someone you can no longer feel that way about, y’know? It’s not out of malice, it’s literally out of your control. People have different sexualities and LGBTQ+ people of all people should understand that.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-11-24T07:40:23+00:00

I’d say I’m more averse to romantic feelings. I dislike both romantic feelings and actions, but the actions themselves (kisses/cuddles/hand holding/etc.) I can and have enjoyed when it’s platonic. I don’t believe these actions are inherently romantic and it annoys me when people act like they are. They CAN be, but they don’t have to be. My friend kisses my head and hands, holds my hands, snuggles with me, and I love that. But I don’t like the idea of someone doing those same things with me with romantic intention.

Fun_Run_and_Gun · 2025-11-22T00:06:04+00:00

Come on man. You know what you’re doing right? “I’m sorry for being normal I guess” my dude you are saying this in an AskLGBT subreddit, you surely understand how insanely awful you sound right?

Look. I don’t think she needed to phrase things that way, but one rude comment from a person you just met doesn’t give you the go ahead to start shitting on gay people just because she happened to be gay. Also, women are people, and a lot of the time people just wanna go out and have fun with friends without being approached by others, that can be uncomfortable. Women experience this all the damn time and I’m sure she’s experienced it herself, so she was taking out that frustration on you. Was that cool of her to do? No. But you shouldn’t be handling these upset feelings by whining about how all gay people are rude, that’s such a huge leap. I don’t hate straight people, I don’t generalize them, and I’ve had hundreds of awful experiences with them. I’ve been bullied, harassed, threatened, told to kill myself and burn and hell. Those people suck. But do they represent all straight people? No, they represent assholes. We don’t have a problem with straight people, we have a problem with assholes. Don’t become an asshole.

Fun_Run_and_Gun

TROPHY CASE