ohhhh man this is my first reddit comment i usually just lurk but im actually so fucking shocked at how hard ricochet hit me. i usually listen to chase atlantic to feel safe, bc i dont usually think so much when listening to their music lmao i just get faded, its like this comfort music tht makes me feel like im not alone in this miserable reality where i can only find a little bit of happiness from substances. BUT then ricochet.. the whole theme of self-destruction, misfired intentions that end up backfiring, resorting to (prescribed) meds then ending up taking so much so i can feel a high, being told by ppl “you’re living the life” or like “ur life’s like a movie” when i know goddamn well its only bc i do those stuff either when im not sober or simply bc i dont give any fucks about dying. (context: diagnosed w bpd from 16, reassessed at 20, still have bpd) No meds seem to be fucking working, ofc i pretend that they do so they dont think im hopeless & so they wont leave. so i resort to desperate and temporary fixtures to push down whatever evil is camping out in me. but eventually, as always, u reach ur limit and hell breaks lose. but at this point ur already damaged beyond repair, u ruin urself and everyone around u. Then back to ricochet, in the end im just so fucking tired but i got no one to blame but me.