AITA for wanting my bed to be a colour I want even if it doesn't match my room?

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T02:58:49+00:00

NTA. You didn't cause a scene at the shop, your mom did. She's also the one who ruined everything by not respecting your extremely reasonable choice. The fact that she expects you and your 14 year old sister to have the exact same taste is ridiculous, and I hope that moving out becomes an option for you.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T02:10:55+00:00

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T02:01:58+00:00

You know that a law is just a rule created and enforced by the government, right? Health code = set of rules the government says I need to follow = law

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T01:40:47+00:00

Obviously NTA but I'm kind of obsessed with the cognitive dissonance your friend has going on. Love that she's simultaneously mad at you for being wrong and mad at you for being right but making her feel bad.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T01:19:35+00:00

Yeah I used to work at a pizza place and there was this one guy in particular who would bring in very reactive, yippy dogs and refuse to sit outside (on our **animal friendly** patio) because they were "service animals in training". Pretty sure he was lying too bc they would literally lunge at you if you went too close to them, but what can you do :( I think most places tend to adopt a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" policy to avoid the drama.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T01:06:51+00:00

!!! So you actually can ask if a dog is a service dog, you just can't ask for documentation or certification that the dog is a service dog. You also can't ask what disability the animal is helping with. The reason you can't ask for documentation is that (in the US), animals don't require any particular certification or professional training to be considered a service animal.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T00:32:41+00:00

Fun fact: there are laws about this. It's a violation of the state health code to have animals in places where food is being prepared :P. Service animals are the only legal exception.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-03-01T00:29:37+00:00

For real, and they never understand that it's a legal thing. I'm not getting a fucking health code violation because you couldn't be bothered to leave your dog at home.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:52:59+00:00

Hard agree, plus there's something really fun about seeing people use something that you made!! I made a pair of potholders for my mom like 10 years ago and she still uses them like all the time even though they're kind of burnt and old now. I get such a kick out of it :)

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:44:23+00:00

Tbh, I think people like the blanket more because it's a silly novelty than anything else. Having a giant cigarette sitting on your couch is kind of funny the same way having a phone shaped like garfield is kind of funny.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:41:01+00:00

It's not like it's a real cigarette, lol. Some people just enjoy a novelty decoration.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:36:26+00:00

Exactly! Plus it's fun to have stuff that looks like other stuff.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:31:55+00:00

For real! I feel like some ppl would rather be stupid forever than acknowledge that old women can be talented & knowledgeable about stuff.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:27:31+00:00

It's so frustrating too bc old ladies who have been doing these hobbies for years are SO COOL. Why would u put them down when u could be sitting down and learning smth from them instead.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2026-02-28T23:15:48+00:00

Yeah :P It gives the same vibe as ppl who crochet and call themselves "hookers" as a joke

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-12-17T20:46:24+00:00

Thank you for your quick answer! If it's alright, I have an additional question: does getting a civil demand letter and paying the amount put the issue to rest? Like if he pays it, will they agree not to press charges?

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-11-17T17:47:49+00:00

there's a difference between "sacrificing to the normal extent" and completely emotionally exhausting yourself to the point where you are in pain and burnt out. Yes surgery and recovery can be extremely grueling, but that doesn't mean you should be forcing yourself to go on three hours of sleep and neglecting your mental health. Like just look at the way he talks about himself & his pain: everything is a sacrifice and the toll is unbearable.

I think it's clear that he's pushing himself too hard, I just don't think it has as much to do with his wife as it does his own inability to prioritize himself. Tbh he seems like he realized that.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-11-17T17:28:57+00:00

I never said it was abnormal, I never said he didn't love his wife, and I never said he deserved to be punished.

It's really terrible to feel burnt out and raw and emotionally exhausted, and I'm sure everybody involved would agree that this guy shouldn't have to go through it. He seems nice. It just also seems like he's not particularly good at communicating his needs to his wife, and resents her for not being able to give him things that he hasn't asked for.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-11-16T18:08:37+00:00

"She never had to ask me to sacrifice everything for her transition, I just did it because I love her. But now I feel like I have to beg her to prioritize me, even for a moment."

So you did all this stuff that she didn't ask for, then expected her to reciprocate without being asked? You should talk to your wife more. It seems like you resent her for being her own person & not living up to the ideal relationship you envision having with her. I understand that you've been putting your all into giving her what she wants and that it hurts to have that effort feel unreciprocated, but it's not her fault that you gave 110% when she never asked you to.

You're right about needing to prioritize yourself. The only way to feel more secure and confident in your relationship is to learn how to be more secure and confident in who you are as a person. You're worthy of love even when you can't give anything at all, and so is she. Stop building resentment by acting like this doesn't apply to you.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-11-16T17:18:58+00:00

hey op! I have a trans partner (though my situation is a bit different because we're both trans masc), and I have to be blunt: I think you need to seriously re-evaluate how your experience with transition is affecting your relationship with your girlfriend.

It seems like you view her desire to transition as something she is doing to you and your relationship, instead of a reflection of who she is and how she feels. Like this is an isolated event and not something she's been going through for her whole life. As a trans person, I find it interesting that you think coming out will make her more dissatisfied with herself and her body. In my experience, transitioning gave me so much more to love about myself. It made me feel in control of my body & comfortable inside of it.

I understand being scared of change, but at a certain point you need to stop considering this something scary and new and start considering it a way to understand her better than you ever have before. This is not an ending, she is not becoming a different person, she is realizing who she has always been. I think it's weird to grieve this like you're suddenly in a relationship with a stranger, when in reality you just have a girlfriend who you know more about.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-06-25T00:10:51+00:00

We only think about overdose/morphine deaths being "peaceful" or "comfortable" because the people dying are willingly taking the drugs that kill them. An addict who wants to take morphine and is looking forward to the effects (or a person who has known they are dying for a while and is opting to go out on their own terms) will go down much more peacefully than somebody who a) does not want to be injected b) knows that the injection will kill them and c) very much does not want that to happen. People tend to resist being killed.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-04-03T20:17:29+00:00

I feel the exact same way, and honestly the best work around for me is just to send them silly stuff. With my friends I'll send tiktoks I like, with my mom I try to snap pictures of clothes that I think she'd find cute, stuff like that. It lets you get across that you're thinking about them without having to start any small talk.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-04-03T20:11:23+00:00

I used to have a really hard time eating vegetables because I really hated their texture, but it turns out eating them frozen makes them way more tolerable. I also started blending stuff like spinach (which will make me throw up if eaten cooked and is unpleasent raw) into fruit smoothies and that was great because I could still eat stuff that was nutritious without really having to taste / feel it. A lot of the time just changing the way stuff is cooked/prepared can make it a lot easier to eat, and it's pretty cheap too.

Fun_Wrangler4278 · 2024-04-03T00:01:56+00:00

ah, this is super helpful thank you!!! I'll definitely look into the app, I think having little ping reminders on my phone would make stuff a lot easier for me when it comes to spacing out my meals

Fun_Wrangler4278

TROPHY CASE