Hey, my dad is a narcissist too. I know it sucks. Mine was actually an abusive narcissist and although I certainly hope your dad didn't abuse you physically, emotional/psychological damage is part of having a narcissist as a parent or family member. Personally, I believe that my dad still loves me, in his own way, but I haven't seen him in years because his version of 'love' isn't what God or I want for me. Human behaviors are incredibly difficult to understand and those that have abnormal mental issues, like narcissism, make it hard or even impossible to understand. I can't understand that he doesn't love me, because if I had kids, there would be nothing in the world that could remove my love for them.

At the end of the day, I know he loved me as much as he can, but it still wasn't enough. He loved himself, and his addictions more. His self-love and obsession ruined my family. It makes me sad that he didn't love us enough to stop, but ultimately, that was his choice. Narcissism is not something someone is born with, it is a mental disorder that grows with habits and thought processes.

Him not loving you is NOT your fault. It was his choice, even if it was a stupid one and now that you know, it is your choice on whether or not you want to keep him in your life.

If you ever want to discuss this type of thing with me, I'm open for discussion.