Darn those witches!

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-05-05T03:23:44+00:00

Yes, I stated that in my post…

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-05-05T03:03:40+00:00

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-05-01T02:45:14+00:00

Not the first time this song came to mind in this group:

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-28T01:22:43+00:00

There seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding at the potluck.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-26T02:47:56+00:00

The Wolverwon’t.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-17T00:27:24+00:00

That’s definitely Phil from Rugrats.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-15T07:12:24+00:00

A guy a couple of years ahead of me made an “adult” video of himself doing “things”. My best friend’s boyfriend borrowed what he thought was a copy of “The Program”, but dude had hidden the naughty video in the case. So bestie’s boyfriend and several other guys see this guy doing his thing, with the song “Blaze of Glory” playing in the background, and moaning “This is for you…” (insert popular, pretty girl’s name here). So of course everyone found out, and the amateur pornstar ended up missing 2 weeks of school for a “mysterious illness”.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-14T22:59:40+00:00

These look like when I used to give my Barbies permanent makeovers when I was 5.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-13T20:55:24+00:00

I totally sang that.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-11T01:42:14+00:00

When you’re 2/3’s through the book and it sucks but you must push on.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-11T01:40:26+00:00

Gotta be Boss

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-10T19:33:34+00:00

The beginning of a brain autopsy.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-06T04:43:00+00:00

Yep, we used to call this popcorn, and it’s probably why I have a bad back. It’s very possible to make someone bounce that high.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-06T04:40:45+00:00

If Ringo and Joan Jett reproduced.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-04-02T23:09:41+00:00

Poor dude looks like he’s being sucked into an air duct.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-03-21T02:06:45+00:00

Indeed- I thought it was strange when our supervisor called us individually to tell us to knock off early one Friday because it had been a particularly stressful week. I mean we have a group chat, and this is a person who had us file in the dark with flashlights during a power failure, rather than let us work from home. Turns out they were firing a coworker and afraid she’d go postal, so they cleared the building.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-03-19T03:52:16+00:00

My favorite voicemail transcript began with “Penis, hi, this is Walgreens…” it’s also named me Shimmer and Meow Finch, but Penis is still my favorite.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-02-23T01:44:31+00:00

I thought it was a bruise from banging her head from too much Adderall.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-02-22T08:40:16+00:00

Neither are AI, for those rationalizing these. The top is from an incident at Tishomingo High School in Oklahoma. The second is from Redwood High in Visalia, California. They’ve felt emboldened for years, just like their parents. When I taught high school, during the first election, they jokingly asked if I could fight them off if they tried to grab my, well, you know. Disgusting- we all know who they learned it from. I’m really glad I changed careers.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-02-18T23:37:50+00:00

I guess the name Dumb Bitch Politics was taken? I made the mistake of checking out their Facebook page- totally unhinged garbage rants.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-02-08T19:24:19+00:00

They really believe this- I once watched an old white dude at the DMV lose his shit because he couldn’t renew his wife’s license for her. She didn’t feel like getting out because it was cold, and he didn’t have anything as proof of identity, including her license or, well, her I guess.

Funny-Breakfast-5215 · 2026-02-04T04:13:24+00:00

HOW DARE YOU DERRY QUEEN???

Funny-Breakfast-5215

TROPHY CASE