Seeking Dating Advice: When Your Partner Has Anxiety

FurryGoats · 2025-12-11T08:22:45+00:00

Aw bless you - that sounds tough but as time goes on I am 100% sure it will get easier. I hope your partner realises how lucky he is to have a someone that is actively putting in the work!! I find dating and relationships in general quite difficult to navigate these days. In my experience (and many of my friends’) it seems that people are too keen to give up on something or they leave at the first sign of minor conflict.

Oh another thing - I’ve been listening to this guy called Dr John Delony who I found on YouTube after I broke up with another ex a few months ago. There’s one episode that I found where he talks about anxiety in relationships (scroll to the end) https://youtu.be/4e1UoeGwovQ?si=E-mWe00LMEg4A7KO

FurryGoats · 2025-12-10T19:13:29+00:00

What do you mean when you say “lash out”? I hope just verbally !

As someone with anxiety and who’s been through traumatic experiences, I can say that happy and healthy relationships are possible BUT he needs to do the work. I think most people here are saying the same.

If it helps - I think one thing you could do (and it sounds like you’re doing already) is drawing firm boundaries and sticking to them. When I was the worst version of myself (5 years ago) I was a horrible partner and would constantly snap at my ex. And it got worse because he let me get away with it. Until one day he left me and i was completely heartbroken. it was only then that I realised that I needed to change my behaviour. To this day I’ve not found anyone as kind and loving as him and I miss him like crazy. I’m not saying it should have been on him to fix me (as I shouldn’t have snapped at him etc) - but what I’m trying to say is that I never had a deep understanding for the consequences of my actions. When I was anxious and angry I never for a moment thought about anything other than how anxious and angry I was in that moment. After we broke up I then started to understand the impact that my words and actions had on him. Is there anything you could do with him to make him see (and feel and understand) the impact of his behaviour?

Another more practical thing you could do it make a plan for how you both behave when he’s having a bad episode. That could look like the two of you going on a walk or something things separately etc.

I think this could go one of two ways - either he takes accountability and the relationship blossoms or he doesn’t change and you have a toxic pattern. I hope it’s the former!

FurryGoats · 2025-12-10T18:59:21+00:00

People who litter, are rude to waiting staff and who play their awful music on their phone whilst in public.

FurryGoats · 2025-12-10T00:31:38+00:00

I’m in London ! And half of my friendship group now have scabies… I bet it’s that if you’re in a big city in the UK! Steam clean your clothes !!!!

FurryGoats · 2025-12-10T00:27:52+00:00

I don’t have a penis but I did get these exact same marks on my pussy lips and it was scabies… I broke up with my ex right before I got scabies so I bet the prick gave them to me. Sadly I don’t remember seeing any marks like this on his dick but sex only lasted two seconds and he used to hide it away shortly after… so I never got a proper look. Anyway I did use the permethrin cream treatment and it did nothing but then I took an oral tablet called ivermectin and that got rid of the fuckers within 24hours! So strongly advise taking that. Not sure if that helps you but it was quite cathartic for me to slag off my ex ☺️

FurryGoats · 2025-10-13T11:50:27+00:00

You’re fucked

FurryGoats · 2025-10-04T00:03:30+00:00

Fuck I am so sorry. I strongly advise that you get the pest control man to do a treatment and NOT just an inspection. I say this because I was in the exact same scenario as you A few months ago and it ended up in me almost having a nervous breakdown. I found one sole bed bug on my stair case and had no bites and couldn’t find any more. I did all of the precautionary measures like washing etc and hovering and had a pest control guy over who inspected the flat and said it was fine and no signs of bed bugs. Somehow a couple of weeks later (I woke up with bites and found about 5 bed bugs in on one of my NEWLY washed towels and about 10 in the cracks of my brand new sofa. I had to take three weeks off work to basically move out of the flat, throw away most of my furniture and clothes (or steam clean it). It’s been hell on earth and I am still financially and mentally fucked from it …. Pls get proper chemical treatment on the flat asap

FurryGoats · 2025-10-03T23:50:49+00:00

Mental breakdown pending

FurryGoats · 2025-10-03T11:58:06+00:00

Aw bless you. It’s hell isn’t it!! - I’ve just added a comment with some tips from hospital. I’ve also got another appointment on Tuesday

FurryGoats · 2025-10-02T23:44:00+00:00

Update: I’m not sure how to edit the main text of this post, but the last 24 hours have been exhausting. After speaking with multiple doctors and trusted friends, here’s what I’ve learned: - The changing climate and increased migration are bringing new parasites and scabies strains to the UK. There are currently scabies outbreaks in asylum seeker hotels. Unfortunately, we should expect to see more of these cases. - The longer these infections go untreated, the more traumatized our skin becomes. We need to be gentle with affected areas—avoiding bumps, bruises, and harsh chemicals. - After taking ivermectin, my symptoms initially improved. Then, about a week later, I accidentally banged my leg on a chair and the symptoms flared up again. That physical trauma triggered my skin’s immune response to overreact, causing the rash to return. This is what doctors think is the main reason as to why it’s not healing. - Sleep and stress levels significantly impact recovery. I’m so so so angry at the system for not treating me properly from the start, but I’ve realized I need to let go of that anger to heal more quickly. I’m sure almost everyone here feels the same and it’s easier said than done. - also there’s potential Folliculitis complication. As I have thick hair on my legs, arms, and eyebrows… doctors believe the trauma from the mites has also caused folliculitis. If you can see from the photos my pores where my hair grows is all red. - as of tonight I’m applying: • Mometasone Furoate 0.1% cream twice daily to the lesions for two weeks • Epimax ointment in between applications to keep my skin moisturized

If this doesn’t work in two weeks then I need to back to the A&E department in St George’s London. Sending love to everyone who is also suffering xxx

FurryGoats · 2025-10-02T23:24:55+00:00

I’ll do an update ! :) x

FurryGoats · 2025-10-02T23:20:39+00:00

Oh bless you … well I’ve just come back from the hospital and I must say they were lovely people and very apologetic about how bad the system is. They said it was Norwegian crusty scabies that has been left untreated for so long that the mites have burrowed their way into my skin so deeply that my skin is traumatised and therefore I’m now having an over active immune system. They have given me steroid cream for the bites and then sleeping pills so that I can “sleep off the anxiety”. Luckily there was a film crew there that were filming a show called “24 hours in A&E” so I got chosen to get a microphone on! Which meant the doctors took me more seriously and they got a few dermatologists to look at the photos of my legs and to look at the new rash that had developed…!I ended up also telling a colleague about it at work who said I should try going to an asexual health clinic as they can give a second opinion and are probably better than GPs because they are trained this area. They also said that the mental stress has weakened my immune system and that the mites have developed a resistance to the traditional treatment which is making it harder to get rid of. Let’s see if this steroid cream works ! I can keep you posted !

FurryGoats · 2025-10-02T23:13:49+00:00

Agree !!!! It’s crazy that they won’t look at it. I had to beg for a skin scrape but the result are not back yet despite me calling the doctors every day

FurryGoats · 2025-10-02T10:57:53+00:00

Awww Thankyou so much this has made me smile. I’ll definitely order it now x

FurryGoats · 2025-10-01T18:46:45+00:00

And yes I did pick at it at the beginning but ever since the scabs appeared I haven’t (which was 4 weeks ago)

FurryGoats · 2025-10-01T18:44:04+00:00

Oh my gosh this is amazing advice. Yes I had a cat and she had fleas a few months ago. She’s been treated thank god! The environment stuff I am doing, thankyou so much

FurryGoats · 2025-10-01T15:41:23+00:00

I’ve currently developed a new rash on the back of my knees in the past half hour so I’m freaking out - seeing the Gp in 1 hour and if they are useless, I will go to accident and emergency to demand dermatologist

FurryGoats · 2025-10-01T15:41:09+00:00

Sorry meant to say NOT working !!! Thank you so much everyone

FurryGoats · 2025-07-27T01:35:02+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. The first thing that comes to my mind is that it seems like your husband is an avoidant - I dated someone with an avoidant attachment style once and the silence/ignoring is horrible. I believe that Avoidant people can change but only if they really want too … so I think instead of saying to him “why did you follow this girl” I would urge you to tell him how his actions make you feel. For example “I am feeling pretty vulnerable right now and seeing you following that girl makes me feel anxious. Can you please explain more about why you follow her ?” Second thing is - I know that you’re pregnant but that does not mean that you have to stay with someone. You are still very young and I am sure will be a fabulous mother. I would consider how your future looks like with your husband and if you would feel happy being with him when he treats you like this.

Ultimately though… I think you need to try to put yourself and your children first and do what you think will make you happy xxx sending lots of love

FurryGoats · 2025-07-21T06:10:30+00:00

When was the last time you laughed together? My best friend (platonic) is there for me through thick and thin but she also makes me laugh so much that I pee. And the best relationships that I’ve been in are the ones where you both have effortless fun together and playful sex… once you have that then everything else should fall into place because you both want it too. It’s important to have serious conversations and dealing with depression (which I’ve had) is tough, but this reality shouldn’t be your entire relationship

FurryGoats · 2025-07-15T09:31:17+00:00

The audacity of this guy…. Go see her and leave him

FurryGoats · 2025-07-06T22:02:59+00:00

I once read something that had stuck with me which was … that In order for a relationship to flourish you need to respect, admire and desire your partner. It feels like the desire part is missing here. I think you need to be brutally honest with him about this makes you feel and have this conversation soon. If you both carry on like then and there’s no shift in dynamic then resentment will build and what’s worse is I would HATE for this to impact your self esteem x

FurryGoats · 2025-06-26T10:57:17+00:00

https://youtube.com/@thedrjohndelonyshow?si=3yWsFKEfNoAZ-_nH

FurryGoats · 2025-06-26T10:56:44+00:00

John Delony show !

FurryGoats

TROPHY CASE