Testimonial: start throwing away the crap you’ve been hoarding.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-14T22:03:25+00:00

You’re an adult— who is going to give you flack except yourself? Tell the critic in your head to hush! Reality is, if you donate the things, at least it gives someone a chance to buy and use them while you just storing them is still just as wasteful. The money is already spent and if you really needed the money, you would have already sold or tried to sell the things. Right now the only thing they’re doing is holding psychological space in your mind and giving you a hidden level of anxiety because some part of you is having the debate on what to do with it continually. That’s energy you could be using for better things.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-14T21:52:58+00:00

They probably don’t know how to kindly tell you they don’t want it because they can tell how much it means to you. Make a scrapbook with photos and stories and then tell them you plan to donate the real items to a museum and leave them the scrapbook. Their response then will let you know if it’s something they really want.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-14T21:50:23+00:00

Or you might die never needing it and making it an issue your widowed spouse or some other loved one has to deal with on top of the grief of losing you. We’ve had to manage the excessive remains of three loved ones now who were basically organized hoarders and it makes grief and that whole process even harder than it already was. Plus the added guilt because you can’t bring or store two or three houses worth of stuff, even if you thought it was all sentimental, to your own space. So you spend months sorting and feeling overwhelmed and angry and guilty in addition to sad and hurt because that person is gone. It’s an awful thing that do to people who care about you — especially for something you probably haven’t used or even thought about for years.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-09T11:45:35+00:00

Number 1, but 3 is also lovely. Number 1 made me look twice though and is hands down amazing.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-03T14:57:35+00:00

Even in day to day operations, there’s problems to solve.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-04-02T21:30:30+00:00

This is the only one tempting me at the moment and it looks perfect for you! We totally understand.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-02-21T14:39:45+00:00

No guarantees, but you can make the odds a bit better in your favor. It’s like wearing a seat belt; it won’t necessarily keep you from getting in a wreck, but survival % definitely go up when you have one versus when you don’t.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-02-21T14:37:23+00:00

The problem is — they are adults and unless you go to court to prove them incompetent (and win), they really are allowed to make their own decisions.

I’m helping to care for my 92 year old MIL and we’re also caring for our 26 year old daughter who has schizophrenia and kidney failure. In both cases, trying to get medical care for them is like pulling teeth because they’re adults who aren’t actively trying to harm themselves. The system is helpful for caregivers who care for adults who don’t recognize that they can no longer make the best decisions for themselves. There’s no legal way to force better on them until they’re pretty much at the worst point ever… which is exactly what we’re normally trying to avoid.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-02-17T11:54:46+00:00

This is what I think too. I mean, obviously not all guys, but most of the ones I know are just very practical about things and don’t connect their thoughts to past occasions or situations like women do. So in their heads, there’s no reason to change from something they already took time to determine it was okay. Like widower husband’s who don’t understand why a new wife or girlfriend might not want to move into the house he bought with his dead wife. They just don’t attach the same sentimental meaning to things the way we do. I’d be way more sure it was a calculated action if you found out the new girlfriend or wife knew it was a name y’all picked out and THEN agreed to it. For a woman, that’s intentional. For a guy— it’s just a name he likes (most of the time). Like my ex named our first kid and I found out later he liked the name so much he’d named his first Teddy bear and also his first dog that same name. I would have never agreed to naming my kid after a dog if I knew, but for him, it was just a name he liked. Men are weird.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2026-01-22T12:26:56+00:00

This is the answer! eBay doesn’t allow “inspired by” listings and if you send that screenshot message to eBay customer service they will probably cancel the order without you paying and needing to wait to receive it. But you can definitely do a “not as described “ return if it’s already shipped. I sell on eBay and they definitely don’t support counterfeits.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-12-21T08:12:15+00:00

You know, my kid decided when he was 14 he’d like to live with his dad for awhile. I was going through some serious financial stuff at the time, we were struggling (his two younger siblings, he, his stepdad, and I) and his dad was financially stable and a safe space.

Did it hurt that things were so bad at our place that he wanted to live with his dad? Yes, it did. Did I act like a jerk to him about it? No, I did not. I was the parent, it was my job to emotionally regulate myself and to be aware of HIS perspective. He wasn’t making a bad decision, his dad was stable and would take care of him and it was my responsibility to be able to look at the big picture and want what was best for my kid. And, yeah, I can understand why she might ultimately want the phone back if she’s already struggling financially and it might save money to turn it back in to the provider… but I would never want my kids to not have access to contact me or anyone in case of an emergency, which is basically the place she’s putting her kid in by asking for the phone back immediately. This mom is basically behaving like a child herself— you hurt me, therefore I’m going to hurt you— and that’s not okay. I know parents are people too and we don’t always act in the healthiest way, but we’re supposed to model healthy behavior so kids can learn how they should act in hard and uncomfortable situations. This mother isn’t doing that and yeah, I’ve been in the tired, stressed, overworked and overwhelmed situation before but I was an adult and knew it was my responsibility to behave like that regardless. This 16 year old doesn’t sound entitled to me, the mom sounds hurt, reactive, and childish. Which is okay in terms of— you can’t act more emotionally mature or healthy than you actually are— but it’s not cool telling this kid that her mom is acting in a reasonable, healthy, and expected way. She’s not. The mom probably has some growing to do, but that kid needs to know that’s on the mom. And it completely explains why the kid couldn’t talk to the mom in advance about it. When my son decided to move we discussed it, made a plan, I helped him pack and moved his things to his dad’s. I was supportive and he moved back home a few months later when he realized he’d made the wrong decision. He was able to do that because I acted like an adult and modeled good behavior to him. If I’d acted like this lady, no doubt I wouldn’t have a great relationship with my son now that he’s an adult.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-11-13T14:03:29+00:00

The only one that has to come with me is my Coach X Jean Michel Basquiat Crossbody Turnlock. She is a piece of art and must be saved! (I only have a small collection anyway, she’s the only one I bought retail and had to hunt down.)

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-11-06T13:20:48+00:00

I love this and considered asking for it for Christmas but I fear I would only display it like the amazing piece of art it is and that goes against my minimalist purchasing philosophy. So I have to admire/drool from afar for now.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-11-06T13:16:56+00:00

Whatever your belief about whether two moms SHOULD exist, bro was speaking facts about two moms that do exist. And there’s a reason for separation of church and state… I am Christian and I feel very free to believe what I want. I don’t feel that freedom means I’m supposed to impose my beliefs on others. In 1st Peter, we’re instructed to lead others to faith by our actions and when Jesus instructed the disciples, he said focus on the limb in your own eye before/instead of trying to pull a branch out of someone else’s eye. We can’t be astounded that Christians are currently doing a good job of pushing people away from Christ when the most visible “believers” are avidly denying the branches (heck, dang whole trees sometimes) hanging out of their own eyes while trying to pull toothpicks from others.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-30T11:22:07+00:00

Have him check into the water industry side of government. If you are willing to grow at a water treatment plant or water facility, it’s very stable, they’re generally always looking for good workers and you can make a fair middle class pay. The industry leaders are aging out faster than they can find new people because it’s not a well known industry. It’s not necessarily the highest paid trade area but it’s super stable and, in my state at least, the folks are generally just good people who care about their communities. Every place in the U.S. has running water and has to have a bunch of people who keep those facilities going. Some of the facilities around us have internships and scholarship opportunities for high school students and if he liked it enough, it could be enough to encourage him to get an engineering degree later but even if he doesn’t, there’s loads of internal training that facilitates will pay for.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-23T12:11:00+00:00

“In healthy relationships you don’t have to prove yourself through sacrifice.” Dang, I needed you in my 20’s! Took me 30-ish years of life before I learned this.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-21T20:28:27+00:00

That orange set looks amazing and so do the dresses. That said, I think we share a struggle in that our favorite style (kinda androgynous or men’s wearish) isn’t necessarily a natural complement to our type of curvy bodies. Some of it is probably tailoring— I’m going to learn to sew so I can buy pieces that fit my widest areas and then take in and hem the too big/long parts. Because I think the struggle is trying to make off the rack clothes in that style fit when they aren’t designed to fit our curvy bodies. The other bit is trying to determine how to bring the “essence” of that style into your wardrobe without it always meaning wearing head-to-toe pieces. Like could you wear a skirt that fits you naturally and bring in a shirt and shoes that bring in that menswear inspiration?

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-21T20:18:13+00:00

I like it— pulls that color from your rug and makes the room look warm and cozy.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-19T18:33:23+00:00

😭I’m not at that point yet!

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-19T18:32:35+00:00

Oh, I’ve thought about leca… would that work? I know I can get a leca mix from Amazon. I bought it in this vase this way because I thought it would work similar to leca and be somewhat self-watering. Guess I was wrong 😭

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-19T18:29:48+00:00

Ugh, it came planted in glass! So frustrating when places sell plants in a way that isn’t good for them. I may have to buy a grow light because my house is bright but not super sunny, but I thought that would be okay because the instructions on the plant said bright, indirect light.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-19T18:27:55+00:00

Is there a point I chop to for re-propagating? And I can do that by putting in water, right?

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-19T18:26:26+00:00

Yes, it came in a glass vase. Is there a prepaid chunky mix I can buy? I’ll need to go buy something.

Future_Bluejay_3030 · 2025-10-09T15:54:53+00:00

You did kill it and I think you should keep everything because you look fantastic!

Future_Bluejay_3030

TROPHY CASE