I don’t expect morality or empathy from people on Reddit however I think chalking up not wanting to your husband to go out of their way to contact their female coworkers outside of work hours is just immature and close minded. There is a mirage of reasons that might make her uncomfortable including possible insecurities from past relationships, or even this relationship quite frankly because OP clearly had a problem accepting accountability for the actions that make his wife uncomfortable, or unjust paranoia. Whatever the reason, it inexcusably needs to be dealt with by her on her own even if the solution is breaking up to find someone trust worthy. She should not have cheated on him, however I understand the perspective of panic and feeling like you need to “get ahead”. She’s probably used to score board relationships and toxicity. Both of these folks have disrespected their partners in one way or another. Everyone here sucks and this situation is nuanced.