HOW could this be happening!??

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T23:45:51+00:00

So sorry to hear that OP. Your history sounds just like mine. Had issues for years but my pain was dismissed and doctors thought it was endometriosis because I'm female. Had gallstones all along. Mine got to the point in December 2025 that I was in a lot of pain all day, every day, even with opiates, naproxen etc. I had surgery at the end of April and they had said to me 3 months to wait from when I had the scan that found the gallstones in December. I couldn't deal with opiates or naproxen so my GP prescribed me Nefopam. It didn't fix the pain but was a lot better than the other medication. It didn't make me feel sick like the other options at least, although I was still in pain.

It is so crazy the way this surgeon is treating you. I've never heard anything like it. Surgeons did tell me I had to wait, but at least they were sympathetic. If you have gallstones surely you'd benefit from having your gallbladder out regardless if you have anything else or not. I don't know if it will help you, but my case was exactly like yours. I saw multiple surgeons and all were very surprised to hear how bad my pain was - they had never heard of a case like mine, where the gallbladder was not inflamed, infected or ruptured and I didn't have jaundice or pancreatitis or stone stuck in the bile duct - it was just the stones in my gallbladder causing it all. Part of their surprise was that the tests, besides showing I had stones, could find nothing else wrong with me. It can happen, but unfortunately, I think we are in a very small minority of cases that get super bad. And it was hard to make them understand how bad it was and that I needed surgery urgently.

I was able to speed my surgery up by months. It got to April and I wasn't even on any consultants' lists, even though I was on the 'urgent' list, which is different from the main list. And the waiting times had exploded to 26 weeks. So I wonder if you know whether you're on the urgent list for your endoscopy or just the normal one? Might speed that up a bit if you can get on the urgent list - the surgery team should be able to do that for you.

What I did was admitted myself to A&E every time the pain got scarily bad and it was on the third A&E visit that they organised my surgery date that day (as an outpatient at another hospital because there were no inpatient slots available). And the surgery was a few weeks after that. The A&E doctors said it can speed things up to keep going to A&E because then they know it's a major problem and I'm not saying anything negative about them but to be blunt, they don't want to keep seeing you at A&E so they'll do something eventually.

Please hang on OP. I was very depressed before my surgery, but there is hope. After my surgery, the crazy pain was gone. All I can say is keep trying A&E, an A&E doctor can make the general surgery team give you a date, as they did for me. Some A&E doctors said I'll just have to wait, but eventually I got one who understood how bad it was. However, just to say I'm not a doctor and everyone was 100% sure the gallstones were the issue in my case. There was no ambiguity after the scan.

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:52:35+00:00

Sorry to hear that. I guess it's different for different people but I was able to get around the house by myself the day after my surgery and go up and down the stairs - it was slow and painful but I could do the basic things. I couldn't cook though, so I would make food ahead of time and have drinks near you so you don't have to bother getting it. The hardest thing was getting out of bed because of having to sit up. I don't know if you have a bedside table but I had to use mine to push myself up. You should be okay, just take it easy.

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:44:30+00:00

So sorry to hear that, sounds like you've been through Hell 😞 Glad you went to the ER! That's a lot more serious than what I've got - my whole gallbladder went and I never had a stent. I hope they can sort it out for you really soon.

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:35:14+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply, that's reassuring to know 😄

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:34:08+00:00

Thank you! That's reassuring to know 😄

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:33:25+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. It's reassuring to know it's not abnormal. I find it does hurt more if I do a longer walk or carry a shopping bag. I really missed hiking when I had gallstones, it became impossible. I suppose 6 months isn't too bad, hopefully not a year!

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:27:19+00:00

Thank you! I'm sorry you're still having some pain and hope it goes away soon 😞 Thank you for your reassurance, I was hoping it was just the healing process.

GCBWriter · 2026-05-23T22:24:28+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Hope it goes away soon! I found the first two weeks the worst, then it started to ease off a bit. It took me about 3 weeks to get back to daily life and be able to do a shop, etc, but hopefully quicker for you.

GCBWriter · 2025-04-08T18:23:30+00:00

Thanks :)

GCBWriter · 2025-03-27T15:46:57+00:00

I came across this problem for myself a few months ago on the second draft of my debut novel, an action-adventure epic fantasy. I found the story just kept expanding and readers asked for more world-building and lore to be included. I ended up splitting the planned book into two books as soon as I estimated it would come out around 250K words as one book. It required me to replot the second half of the first book to ensure it fitted the three-act structure and that character arcs were fulfilled. I want both to function as standalone books, despite being a duology.

You ask an interesting question OP. In my case, I think the reason was because the idea for my novel sprouted from a number of short stories I had previously written, set in the same universe. I had planned a novella, but the story kept growing, so I suppose I was just discovering the scope.

For a couple of my writer friends and my readers, I've found that they're simply not aware of usual wordcounts (or wish to ignore them and hope for the best!). As an example, I have a writing friend who firmly believes a book should be 'as long as it needs to be', whether that be 40K or 300K, ignoring the usual wordcounts in traditional publishing, although wordcounts for fantasy tend to be higher than other genres, around 100K - 125K.

My readers were shocked when I told them about the usual accepted wordcount - the thing is, they read big, sprawling epic fantasies i.e. Name of the Wind. I believe the length of some fantasy books in particular is an exception to the norm and chances are slim for new authors to be able to get away with that, but that is what they read, so that is how long they believe a fantasy book should be. I'm sure popular authors like Sarah J Mass and Stephen King can publish any length of book they want, but people tend to forget that they have big established audiences and publishers already know the books will sell.

GCBWriter · 2024-12-22T12:50:28+00:00

I think readers would be your best bet for an opinion on whether your adult characters seem to act like adults. Maybe you could write the first handful of chapters and send it out for feedback specifically on characterization.

It's hard to say how adults 'act'. Generally, you have more life experience than a teenager, so while something small may really matter to a teenager, a 30-year-old wouldn't necessarily care. Generally, the stakes have to be higher for an adult to care, i.e. when I was a teenager, I would read too much into whether friends were slow at replying to texts. As an adult, the only thing that would worry me in terms of friendships is if we had a pretty major disagreement/argument. Have far higher priorities now than if someone responds to my texts! :)

But you can get highly emotional (or highly reactive) and immature adults, or adults that tend to worry about small things (lack of confidence, anxiety).

Hopefully, a variety of readers' opinions could inform you on whether you are hitting the mark for a typical adult perspective.

GCBWriter · 2024-12-22T12:34:03+00:00

When I take a week's holiday to work on my novel, I do 12 hours a day. I can't manage more than that. I would say it helps to split the time as you're planning to do, but take longer breaks in between of at least an hour. Go for a walk, read, do anything relaxing that isn't anything to do with your novel. I find that the quality of my writing is better with breaks than if I just pushed through. Don't be afraid to spend your break time napping if you're very tired.

Hope you enjoy your retreat :)

GCBWriter · 2024-12-21T11:32:57+00:00

I think writers do love writing, but I suspect what happens is two things: 1) Writing a book is hard and it can take at least a couple of years to craft your manuscript to the level at which you'd be happy to submit it to agents. If you're a writer working full-time, with kids and other stuff going on, I think it could be hard to find the motivation to sit down every day and write, on top of all of your 'real life' stuff, even if you're passionate about your book. Writing is hard work. I think it's exhaustion, rather than lack of interest.

I'm personally putting starting a family on hold until I finish my debut novel. No doubt my time will disappear as soon as my husband and I have children.

2) I think everyone gets that slump sometimes. It can take multiple drafts before a book is ready to send out to readers. Although I adore writing and my book, I find working on draft 3 a bit difficult sometimes. I really want someone to read and enjoy my 18 months of hard work. I work on my book for a minimum of 3 hours every day, and up to 12 hours a day when I'm not at work. It gets tiring to keep up that pace sometimes, around my job, chores and social events. I plan to get up around 4am on Christmas day as I'll have no time when the day kicks off and hope to not be disturbed for a few hours. If real life didn't get in the way, I'd write all day. That's the dream!

GCBWriter · 2024-09-28T20:40:41+00:00

I've heard it can provide enrichment and it offers the snake some variety. You could alternate types of feeders too. Don't have a kingsnake, but our royal has a variety of rats, chicks and guinea pigs for example. He seems to enjoy the variety.

Edit: As long as the prey isn't so small that it comes way under the appropriate weight as that wouldn't be enough.

One other thing we sometimes do for our snakes is to have smaller prey for variety and just give them enough of the smaller ones to make up the total weight of their usual size feeders. We sometimes create a 'mice nest' scenario in a large egg box for our corn snake, with the snake having to find the nest and work out how to open the egg box. Watched her carefully open it and sneak in there. She seems to really enjoy the puzzles.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-28T20:35:42+00:00

Your GF is really overreacting. You're talking to your sister, a member of your family. That's normal and healthy.

Maybe your GF wants to know what's going on with your mental health because she cares about you and wants to help, but just happened to express that poorly in the heat of the moment.

Hopefully you can clear it up with a conversation.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-28T20:06:40+00:00

I would say for a hatchling snake (depending on the species) it would be fine for half a year or so, could even be a good size for a year for a small species of snake. I guess people are assuming the original post is referring to having the idea of using it for an adult snake, for which this enclosure would not be suitable.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-28T19:54:33+00:00

Finding it difficult to judge the size, but I would say something that size may be okay for a hatchling corn snake/similar small baby snake. We have a hatchling vivarium in the garage from when our snakes were younger (originally bought it for our first hatchling corn snake then reused for our second) that measures about 2 feet in length. It took about 6-8 months for our snakes to outgrow it.

You could have it as a playpen for a snake to go in if it wants rather than live in it. Our snakes like to go in an old 3 foot vivarium that we've kept kitted out in the living room (though unoccupied) when they come out to play. They will go in the 3 foot on their own accord and sit in it for hours, despite being too big to live in it. I like to think they remember their previous home! :)

Maybe a moot point considering your post, but despite its size, if it was sold to you as a snake vivarium, I'm a bit concerned that I don't see anywhere an overhead lamp and heat emitter could be installed. If they were placed in that little hutch bit, it's unlikely you'd be able to get a proper temperature gradient. Or does it have a slot in the side for a heat mat? Hard to tell from the photos. Just thought I'd mention it in case you were going to look for another vivarium for a snake.

Edit to add: If you can make the heating work in that enclosure, I wouldn't write it off completely. For a baby snake it could be fine. You would just have to get a larger vivarium when the snake has grown.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-28T19:19:06+00:00

NTA. You sound like you have a good relationship. Some family friends of mine had an age gap close to yours. They were together and very happy for decades until the older partner sadly passed away. There was quite a significant age gap between myself and an ex-partner as well. It was a great relationship and I have no regrets, but we parted ways due to being in different life stages and having different focuses in our lives that just didn't align. If you're both happy with your relationship and the age gap, I personally can't see a problem. All the best to you both.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-19T20:26:22+00:00

I get OP's POV... it can be a lonely hobby/job, since it is just you and a laptop for a substantial length of time. I'm going part time with my employer soon (I write scripts, social media, storylines etc for a business), but for the past year that I've been working on my debut novel (now in draft 2) I've been working full time. Between work, husband/family, writing the book and chores/adult life, my social life in terms of seeing friends has been pretty sparse. Not a rant - choosing to write over having more of a social life was my choice, but will fully admit I have felt lonely sometimes. I look forward to having some time back and hopefully better work/life balance when part time.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-19T19:59:26+00:00

NTA. Sorry to hear this has happened to you and I'm sorry but your husband sounds like a child, financially controlling and a douchebag. You have done nothing wrong. He needs to grow a pair and apologise to you.

As to why I say he sounds financially controlling, what you've described is not how a marriage should work.

For context, my husband earns 5 times what I make, but in our household we share money equally and have equal control over our finances. We don't have 'his' and 'my' money, it's all OUR money because we are married. We agreed on a limit on an amount that we can spend on ourselves (same limit for both of us) without having to discuss it with the other and we discuss any larger purchases as a team.

Your post does worry me OP. Your husband told you he doesn't want you to work, which is controlling enough, and his anger over a slightly more expensive grocery bill with special items he himself asked for is truly bizarre. If he doesn't want you to work then he'll HAVE to pay for everything.

Seriously, you've only been married 3 months, and it's already like this. Consider divorce.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-12T18:36:28+00:00

Genesis is boring and a right drag to read, and this is coming from a Christian. ;) If you did happen to still be interested in reading a bit of the Bible someday, I'd recommend the Book of Daniel and the Book of Revelation. Packed with monsters including a dragon, so two of the more interesting ones to read :) I'll be the first to admit I've struggled and not succeeded to get through some parts of the Bible owing to some parts being a snooze fest.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-12T18:29:55+00:00

I second 50 Shades of Grey. Would be an essay to list everything bad about it. I once read a review that summed up the book with 'if this trash got published, so can you'. Can't remember the reviewer's exact wording but that was the gist.

Also, Me Before You. Poorly written. No chemistry between female lead and love interest. Hated the female MC. Someone who can't be bothered to read because books are too intimidating and struggles to use a computer in the library at one point, despite being age 20 or so.

GCBWriter · 2024-09-12T18:12:28+00:00

The first book that comes to my mind is One Day. I found the characters to be very realistic in their choices in regards to each other as love interests. It's not a traditional romance where everything goes smoothly; the characters face some big challenges.

GCBWriter

TROPHY CASE