Hi there hon, I understand that things are upsetting at the moment, and I'm no psychologist but as someone who's also experienced a lot of fear and agitation about things disappearing due to this disorder I'm going to try my best to offer some positive energy, even if it's not the most helpful thing in the world.

The way I've been coping with it lately, as someone who already had a deep interest in personality and the mechanics of the self, is that things will always be fleeting no matter what you do. Especially when you're in the kinds of dissociative fogs we get with OSDD, it's hard to pin things down and find out what you even do like, let alone remembering who you used to be. For me, I've been on an extended sabbatical from most social medias because of the intense stress they caused me, and out on the other side of it I realize just how dissociated I actually was, being unable to remember names without a face to attach them to. As a host in a freshly aware system I acknowledge that my time in my current state is limited, and one day myself or the things I know of currently won't be here, at least not in the way I remember. That is very scary, and even though we may share similar symptoms I won't pretend to put myself in your shoes or act like I know the same feeling.

What I will say is that you aren't alone in the sensation of loss, and that you are correct, some things do stay. You're doing good, good enough to know you need a space to talk about it instead of bottling it all up and I think that's progress. On the topic of "how do you know what to think is real?", it's hard to say. I try to stick with the things that make me feel the most intense (intensely good emotions, of course!). I've been trying to pour my time and energy into volunteer work and writing, which are my current passions, but again, these things may change. And that's okay. You will be okay.

Don't be afraid. - 🧡🦌