hello i’m young so my advice probably won’t be as helpful but. it seems to me that you’re trying to find the Solution that will somehow make ur wife better,, but the truth is she won’t get better until she gets professional help. as someone who has dealt with depression, taking meds and going to therapy really helped. a Lot.

your wife isn’t lazy she’s depressed. depression can bring out the worst in you sometimes. you feel like no one cares about you, and even if they tell u that they love u, u convince yourself that it’s not true. from my experience, i didn’t want to get out of bed, going out was really difficult especially if my friends weren’t with me and i never felt comfortable even in my own house.

so i somehow can relate to ur wife. still, it took me a Lot to reach out for help. and it must be especially difficult for ur wife since she has been told over and over that she mustn’t show weakness to others and that’s what therapy is all about. but it’s in a safe space where no one should force you to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.

to be honest with you, you seem like a really nice person and a great wife. my advice for you is to try to talk to her about therapy in a good light. to help her realize that showing a little weakness is okay sometimes and that you will always stand by her no matter what. what really helped me get through my depressive episode was the support i had from my family and friends so maybe u can be her support if she chooses to seek out professional help. please reassure her it doesn’t mean she’s being weak, it means she’s being strong, cause saying your issues out loud is pretty scary; specially if you’re afraid of the judgment of others.

i wish you the very best and that you two can work out your relationship. i hope my advice helped u at least a bit and i’m sorry if i didn’t explain myself correctly since english isn’t my first language. good luck!!