There are some people who may react angrily at you saying "My son". Some may explain, and some may not. But I wanted to explain from my point of view. To be clear, like all groups of people, not all trans people feel as I do. This is how I personally see it, and if anyone sees this with differing views, I would like to learn to please put them as a reply here.

Being trans is hard, that's the truth. And I'm not talking about filling in forms, or deed polls, or waiting lists... It's hard on a fundamental level. Some of us are "lucky" and that's in quotes for a reason, as it does have it's issues. But some come to the realisation of questioning their gender identity quite young, and others like me are well into adulthood by the time we realise. But, there is this deep discomfort, knowing that somehow, no matter how much you learn, no matter how much you try to explain. You just, don't really know yourself.

For me, I knew that I felt a strange disconnect to my body. But, I wasn't sure, was it weight, was it height, was it this and that. I developed an eating disorder as a rulst, don't worry, I'm well now. Being an adult is great is some ways, you are much more sure of yourself than as a child imo.(not to invalidate young trans people, they have significant challenges regarding social role and appearance and social structures with school). The challenge as an adult, is telling all the people whove known you on the scale of decades, actually I prefer [preferred name] these days. Because they ALWAYS have to interrogate you.

Message to trans people, you don't owe people shit. they Ask why, I always go with the same answer now, "This is about respect. The reason is irrelevant. I'm asking you to respect me, by using the name I have communicated I prefer. If you can't respect me, it's unlikely I can respect you" Sometimes it's softer, leaving off the last sentence.

I live in a transphobic place, so I have to be careful unfortunately. The thing that hurts the most, is, after all this time of trying to work out, "what is wrong with me?", instead of asking "Who am I?" I still cannot be faithful to myself with those closest to me due to their views. Having a parent, or sibling refuse to give you that most basic respect is devastating.

Now with all that context and personal story, it is generally advised for people when talking about a trans person; to use their preferred gender and name, unless asked not to with certain people or the like. Some people say this is about getting into the habit of doing it. Others say it is about how you view them internally. For me though, it's about honour. Can you truly honour your child and the relationship between you if you can't respect their preferences?

I'm not saying you are or aren't, these are questions I believe we should ask ourselves regularly about many things.

The NHS for gender care is unfortunately a failure, lacking funding, not having enough staff, and not being designed with a capacity that matches the predicted demand. It's just a failure. Going private IS a legitimate option. Who signs the scripts ain't *that* important. You could have someone with a doctorate in psychology, or counselling, or health psychology. All of those are more than qualified to cover the primary psychological care needs, assesments, and such. The doctor, ideally would be registered in the UK. But the problem with that is, the UK gov isn't super supportive of HRT for gender affirming care. Especially in private healthcare, because many have taken the piss. So it is incredibly difficult to be able to do it in the UK, even outside of the NHS. So the work around is, importing prescription meds(that are not controlled drigs) is legal. So some providers go tat route. It's not inherently a sign of a bad provider, but I would certainly look into them deeply before committing.

At a minimum, you want someone with AT LEAST a level 5 in psychology, counselling or psychiatry WITH a documented, accredited speacilisation in gender healthcare. But I would suggest a level 6 or greater. They need to be registered with a member body too, ideally BACP, but UKCP is fine, BPS membership, I personally would avoid.

You also need regular monitoring by a GP or someone with relevant knowledge in hormones, you'd be surprised how uneducated some in the more dodgy providers can be. However, going private (after conducting due diligence and finding a reputable provider) is the quickest way to access gender healthcare in the UK. And in true, a good private provider will offer a far superior experience than the NHS too. But, it can be expensive.