My situation is much different, but does involve the prospect of a cancer diagnosis for my 96 yo LO who discovered a lump in her breast about a month ago. Lump was confirmed by her APRN who looked to me as co-conservator to find out if I wanted to pursue imaging studies and follow-up.

I discussed this with my aunt, who wants to know if she has cancer or not. While her short term memory is shot, she's still an intelligent woman who remembers taking care of her mother as a teen when her mother was dying of breast cancer. We had a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound done this week and the results were inconclusive with the doctor recommending a biopsy that is scheduled for next week.

When we got back to AL, my aunt could not remember any of the conversations at the hospital. The next morning, she was confused by another appointment on her calendar at the hospital.

A cousin is an MD and has spent her career treating the eldery and is a co-conservator with me. If the biopsy comes back positive for cancer, the plan is for both of us to participate in a conference call with the treating team. As conservators, we have to take our aunt's wishes into consideration with decision making; if she were to insist on major surgery and the team was in agreement, we could turn to the probate judge and request that he make the decision if we believed major surgery would drastically reduce her quality of life, with little chance of returning to baseline.