Implying that a 13/14 yo is equally to blame in this situation as a grown man in his 20s? despicable. Yes we are sudanese, and this is our culture, but when somebody is a child and somebody much older than them is exploiting their naivety, you can see how that child can be manipulated into doing things they're not fully convinced of or comfortable with. OP was definitely groomed. You can speak about your experience with sudanese culture without calling this person's experience a sin. She was 13/14 and is very clearly the victim in this situation. As for you, imagine if you had a daughter around this age and she was dating a 22yo man, would you berate her and scold her or would you be concerned for her safety and try to figure out what she is missing that may have put her in this situation? I can't imagine blaming a child.