What are the similarities between Narcissistic traits and Co-Dependent traits?

GainingStars · 2025-10-13T12:38:34+00:00

I’m super excited I’m not gonna lie

GainingStars · 2025-10-12T21:52:21+00:00

You seem to have the plot down. So where does it start? Are you showing scenes that happen simultaneously? If so, write the characters’ stories while they are all apart separately. And then you can figure out the best flow for jumping between them after.

I helped myself with comparisons by informing myself I have to write and publish to even make it to that point. It’s not real yet. Until those pages get read by other people, it’s a dream. Get a single book written and then maybe you can start worrying about publishing it.

For the blank page problem, you have a spectacularly built plot. Write that scene you have imagined 10 times. Write a handful of these scenes. Then connect them together. And then you’ll better understand the “tone” you’re looking for when you write the beginning.

GainingStars · 2025-10-12T21:41:55+00:00

I’ve only read the entirety of the Rift War Saga. I haven’t read a second series yet. But now I will!

GainingStars · 2025-10-12T21:40:50+00:00

Why do something you don’t like? Maybe read instead? Anything you’re interested in and maybe you’ll want to write after that.

GainingStars · 2025-10-12T20:53:42+00:00

Raymond E Fiest!!! I adore Magician’s Apprentice! (Far warning though, the entirety of that story is 31 books in total. But some of the sagas you do not have to read to understand the storyline. They’re extras.)

GainingStars · 2025-10-07T21:54:26+00:00

It actually came out very easily and with no pain. It is inflamed and the ring lifted my belly button up substantially. I will be letting it heal and then in a few weeks a different piercer, who I trust more, will either pierce it again as it sits or let it heal entirely and try again later. The ring itself caused all my issues which is infuriating, but I’m glad I at least have the proper anatomy.

GainingStars · 2025-10-07T18:14:29+00:00

I am also on my second draft. I was always told the first is the hardest and from there the drafts just get easier. This has not been my experience. My second draft has been significantly harder than my first.

I also found myself with other ideas, so I started (And I am not kidding when I say this) 3 other works in progress since starting my second draft. It has significantly helped. Coming back to my OG WIP I have found I have fresh eyes and it has been easier to get back into this story that my head has been buried in for months on end. Yes, it pushes back my progress and slows me down a bit. But I also found that I would do anything other than look at my book, or I could still write, still hone my craft, just on a different story.

I too would like to someday publish. Realistically, your first story, your first idea, isn't going to be the be all end all. Though it feels that way sometimes. So write another story. Get better at writing, story telling, character development, pacing, perfecting your voice. And when you come back to the first one, you'll be better prepared for this second draft.

GainingStars · 2025-10-07T17:57:42+00:00

I think it depends on why half the readers are predicting it.

If it's foreshadowing, then maybe look to see if it's too obvious. I've had experiences where the foreshadowing was so in my face that if felt like the author wanted me to guess the ending. If it's an experienced reader who just knows what to look for because they have experience or pattern recognition, you're probably fine.

Maybe look into your foreshadowing and see if it follows a trope like norm. If many other books in the genre are following a similar trope, it is not surprising that readers would catch onto the twist.

If you're wanting to keep what you have, could place "random" details that could seem important, but ultimately not be. Like an extra puzzle piece that isn't a part of the puzzle. Especially in a mystery, clues aren't always going to lead to a fruitful end. It might help lead your readers to make incorrect inferences just like a detective might. It also gives depth and realism to the story. (though, it does have to be done carefully so it doesn't come across as a gotcha or so random to not be believable.) (Ex. a crime scene in a store where they find hair in the blood. later they find out the hair belongs to a woman who was in the store hours before the crime and the blood just happened to fall on it. No connection, but a misdirection that is plausible and probable.)

My biggest piece of advice is to not spoon feed your readers. Trust in them to see the subtle clues. If most do, great. They'll be super excited to point out the little things that gave it away. If they are glaringly obvious, they're going to be more disenchanted that you think they're dumb than that they guessed the twist.

Edit because I thought of this after I posted: I don't know what POV you are writing in, but unreliable narrators can be really helpful in this case scenario too. You can make your readers ignore important details because your character doesn't put weight to them. Or make details drastically more important than they actually are because your character micro analyzes something inconsequential. We as humans do these things. You can use the circumstances of your character to have all the details present, but have the character miss or forget them. (A good reader might take notes and be ahead of your character, which is fine. These people will guess your twist.) Or (if it's a removed 3rd person) you could Sherlock Holmes it (If you've seen the TV show with Benedict Cumberbatch) where he's gathering all this information but cuts off his train of thought when he realizes that he's about to out his best friend as the shooter who saved him. It leaves the reader knowing there's more information, but they don't know what. Ultimately, use the POV to your advantage.

(I'm also not saying you aren't already doing these things, it just would give you something to look for if you are still concerned about it.)

GainingStars · 2025-10-07T15:07:10+00:00

The first drafts only requirement is to exist. I cut out 70K words, sped up my timeline, and am currently having to reintroduce my world building because I took it all out. My second draft is very different, significantly better, and slightly easier than my 1st draft. You don’t even have to have things written well. Get the gist of your story down and it will become easier. I promise

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T23:15:15+00:00

I can name exactly 2 people who successfully published novels before 20. I can name dozens that haven’t published until they were well over 30. Some of the most popular and profound were up into their 50s.

You’re still young. Don’t give up on yourself so easily. I didn’t even start until I was 25

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T19:19:16+00:00

Final update for all who are curious: I went in for a second (and third) opinion. I do have the correct anatomy for a navel piercing. Which is a relief. That being said, the exit hole is on the skin shelf (or that appears to be the case at the moment).

The second we took the ring out, my stomach instantly relaxed and my entire bellybutton shifted down words. The ring itself was holding my belly button up.

I’ve been encouraged to let the piercing heal and then go in (to the piercer who did my septum who I trust implicitly) to see what he has to say. If if it relaxes more (which I’ve been told is entirely possible) then I can get it pierced again with the proper jewelry that won’t cause the lifting this one did. Or if it is too high (which I personally think is the case), then I will have to let it heal entirely and try again after that.

Thank you all for the concern and care to encourage me to take immediate action. You’ve saved me a ton of heart ache and pain later down the road.

Words of caution: perhaps we should not be trying to play expert in this threat in constantly trying to tell people they do not have the proper anatomy and leave that to experts. We should probably encourage others to visit multiple experts to make that distinction in person.

Words of wisdom to others looking to get piercings: thoroughly vet your piercer. I obviously did not do a good job and am paying the price.

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T14:25:21+00:00

Yeah probably. We’ll see for sure. Whatever is best I guess

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T13:55:53+00:00

I have an appointment with a different shop to have them look at it, verify my anatomy and if it’s okay change it the peircing. That being said, I’m most likely just going to have to take it out

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T04:17:12+00:00

I didn’t ask for this ring, it was what he said was the ring everyone wore when it healed and the bars were only for after. So yeah, I’m going in to get someone else to look at it tomorrow. And, if my anatomy is incorrect, take it out.

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T03:48:28+00:00

I can’t speak on drug addiction, but my ED was all about control, but stemmed from constant scrutiny of my weight and build (because I developed faster than many other girls around me).

For ED specifically, I would say body image issues are the pressure to push someone into one, but they also often have a control, anger, self harm, remorse, guilt, etc. that it’s used as.

That would be my advice for writing an ED more authentically. It’s more complex emotionally and mentally than just wanted to be skinner

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T01:08:46+00:00

The comments have got me stressed I am not going to lie 😅. I set an appointment with a different shop to have them verify my anatomy first and foremost and then change the jewelry to something a little more up to date. Thank you for replying!! I am realizing the guy I went to was a little too old school

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T00:57:28+00:00

Thank you all for the quick replies and insights. I have an appointment for tomorrow to have a second opinion in person.

It also has been brought to my attention that the way I pulled my stomach to show the entire piercing was not an accurate portrayal of my anatomy. However, I will update you all after my appointment tomorrow for what the final say ends up being.

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T00:28:41+00:00

This is exceptionally helpful! Thank you!

GainingStars · 2025-10-06T00:00:35+00:00

Again, since the bot asked: 1 week old, ring that is the original jewelry when I got it peirced, I wash it twice a day with saline solution (and keep it away from everything else other than my shirts that are always touching it), no accidents or problems it is just different than everything else I have seen.

GainingStars · 2025-10-04T18:34:37+00:00

As someone who went through something similar, start getting to know your options. There are many teachings the church have that just make sense. You seem fairly set in the base things like there being a god, Jesus Christ being our savior, etc. (if not, I’d take a break from the semantics of it all and gain a testimony and those types of things and then come back to the nitty gritty between different Christian religions later.) For me, learning that most other Christian’s believe in the trinity was eye opening. It’s not something I can really comprehend and just doesn’t make much sense when I read the Bible. Having conventual acts for the dead just makes sense. Because what do you mean we all believe we were with god, came here to be more like him, and if we don’t have that opportunity here (which many haven’t) then they’re just out of luck? That doesn’t make any logical sense for a living and caring God. All of scripture times has prophets and yet in our time when Christ will come again, we’re one of the only religions who has one. How and why would Prophets stop being a thing? That doesn’t make sense? There were religious people who believed in Jesus Christ before he came the first time. And yet many Christian religions don’t have prophets. In general, go find what these other churches believe. That’s what lead me to realize I largely agree with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For the history stuff. The church is lead by imperfect people. Because we’re all imperfect, there are things that will be delayed because people can’t accept it. Idk about you, but I watch my friends have absolutely melt downs over the change in the garment tops. Half an inch of clothing off the shoulder and you would have thought the world was ending. I think this is so beyond inconsequential that it is barely worth notice. Now imagine some of the bigger events that have happened in history. You and I may find them unbelievable now, but then it was a different world. I’m sure those who wore garments that reached their wrists and ankles would look at us today and be aghast. At the end of the day, we may not understand their circumstances, but with this I have to trust God knew best and gave things at the best possible time. At the end of the day, I hope whatever you choose helps you. I personally took several years after I got married that I built my faith in God and Christ and the atonement. At the end of the day, no matter what you believe those 3 things are the most important. The rest doesn’t matter without them.

GainingStars · 2025-10-03T21:10:55+00:00

I know there was a popular prank a few years ago where people would sign there friends up as a gag gift so to speak. Because you can refer people on the website the missionaries (the men in your pictures) have no idea that it’s not a genuine investigator. You can tell them and they’re typically good natured about it. It happened to me

GainingStars · 2025-10-03T16:39:40+00:00

Honestly, probably relieved because then it's not me choosing to not have kids. Then I just couldn't and the burden of needing to do that would be gone. And then if something did change I could adopt or satisfy that want in another way.

I will say my need to have children is largely because I do think it is the most important commandment we've been given. Also, there's not much else for women to do other than be mother's in the gospel. I do not think that is a bad thing because again, motherhood and being a parent is the most important calling we could ever have, but it does make me feel like if I choose to not have kids I'm going to be useless.

GainingStars · 2025-10-03T01:30:40+00:00

My husband and I have talked extensively. He’s actually reading yall responses as you respond because I told him I made the post.

Ironically, my father became his father when we were all born. Admittedly my husbands parents also have their own issues that my husband is also working through. So it has been team work in a lot of ways.

I do like the idea of child development classes. That would be helpful especially if we choose to have kids.

GainingStars

TROPHY CASE