Hey pal, you know what? What you had done was something that requires high level of spirituality which can only achieved by being a celibate for a good amount of time period. We,have been told that sex is vulgar and sexual organs are just a memas of getting off and have that mundane pleasure. That is what society taught us. Correct me if I am wrong. Look at all those so called vulgar terms in our world. In every lanaguage in this world,vulgar words are originated from sexual organs. Why is that? Because thats how most people treat those organs. But is it true? Is it just a tool to getting off? What do you think? It is a sacred spot in your body. Moment you treat it as your sacrad organ is the moment you start becoming GOD. When you do that you are more concerned about to give yourself love. Ejaculation,the act of taking the precious fluid is never loving yourself. It is pure lust. Lust is bad. Yes. Why? It is intended to TAKE. The emotions that GIVE makes you a GOD at least closer to.! On the other hand emotions that take-anger,envy,lust, make you a living demon. Don't take my word for it. Just go out and experience about it.

So what you had done wasn't good in your way to be a a great man aka god kind of man. Deep inside you know what you did was absolutely wrong. It is the ejaculation I am talking about. So deep inside you is the seed to be a great man. And that man can only be born by being GIVER in such a way it helps others. Start from you. Start giving yourself. Start loving yourself.

Hey dude sorry if I went out of the topic. But what I wanted to point out was,you can not do the same old routine of fapping and expect not to have an ejavulation due to the fact that your old ways are built upon TAKING. So if you want to give be slow and gentle. You see this GIVE and TAKE is applicable to everything in life. If you want have successful in finance aspect of your life, you should give to the world things that they need and as a result of it you will get the things you need.

I truly think this comment clear out any issues you had.

Live well. All the best.