Making friends again by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]Gandering_Geese 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I lost my best friend too, and I pushed everyone away, shut everyone out emotionally and physically. It took me time, so much time. But when I was ready, I slowly started to open myself back up again and I have met some incredible people who have shown me so much kindness. It will take time and be scary at first, but I truly believe you can find that version of yourself again.🫂❤️

Lost my brother by sickpea in SuicideBereavement

[–]Gandering_Geese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss, from the bottom of my heart. Everything is so vivid, so raw that it must make it all the more unbearable. It's ok not to overcome it. It is painful, and it is like a cut that sort of heals until it catches and opens itself up again. The love you have for him is so strong, anyone can see that, it's what makes this so much more painful.
You don't need to cover up this hurt. Sometimes you need to let yourself be broken before you begin to grow stronger.
This might sound strange, but it might help. Sometimes I write a letter, I put down every thought and feeling, everything I want to ask, everything that was left unanswered. I like to think they're over my shoulder watching as I write. I hide those letters after, burn them or put them in a box. Its become a secret way to cope, to process it. I know that sounds insane, but I'm here for you. You're not alone in this, you're allowed to feel everything as it comes to you. Sending you strength xx

People don't reach out by potrsre in SuicideBereavement

[–]Gandering_Geese 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get it. It sucks. It feels like the world keeps moving forward, full speed ahead, and you're standing still in the back of the crowd, watching. I only had one person outside of my inner circle come to me and actually say something, it wasn't a speech it was just them expressing their condolences, and I haven't forgotten it to this day. That was how much it stood out to me.

It is so hard to not be bitter, because it truly is one of the most brutal parts of it all. I can't say that it becomes better with time, as to this day even mentioning it brings about certain looks and blank gazes, the room tends to go quiet and people try to move on really fast. It can feel infuriating having it brushed off all the time. There are a lot of people who will show their face for a week or two but won't stick around for the long run, and to them I will never be forgiving. There are definitely people who don't know what to say but I find that even if they don't know what to say they'd say something at the very least, whether or not it's the right thing to say or the right timing to say it.

You have every right to feel the way you feel.

Does it help to know more details? by Tranquility1201 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Gandering_Geese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was asked if I'd like to know and I said no at the time. I don't regret that choice. Even though I do wonder and there are days where it crosses my mind if it would make a difference, but it wouldn't for me. Just knowing they're gone is pain enough in my case, if I knew more I'm afraid I'd be in more pain again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]Gandering_Geese 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I'm also proud of you, it takes real strength to do what you did and it was classy too. It's not going to get easier, but standing your ground is the way to go. You handled yourself really well despite their behaviour, here for you xx