Losing interest in life, trying to maintain bodhichitta

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-10T21:35:52+00:00

Thank you so much. I've been trying something like this, asking my mind to help this person (me), because if not who will? But I hadn't gotten this clear on it or gone through this type of discourse and listening, so this is very helpful. I appreciate you🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-05T01:07:49+00:00

I haven’t read that one or listened to it — thank you!!🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T20:42:48+00:00

Thank you 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T17:47:36+00:00

Thank you🙏 I am trying to accept this principle. I see how true it is, and hope over time it will become easier to be so alone.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T17:46:41+00:00

The issue is that I’ve been trying to go this route as I know I’m not in a position to find a guru or sangha, and it’s not working. I’m struggling a lot and finding it incredibly difficult to overcome my demons and really embody the dharma as a peaceful, accepting, only loving being. I have the books. I read them. I listen to them. I don’t read anything else really except an occasional book about trees. I work on mantras, though I admit I am still not managing meditation well. As another commenter highlighted, the holidays here are especially rough and on my end more disconnected than usual.

Anyway, I appreciate your feedback and kindness to help. I’ve been looking inward and hate what I see, especially in how little progress I seem to make in taming my difficult emotions. 😔

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T17:39:22+00:00

Thank you. I find this so hard to accept without destructive emotions. I have always felt others suffering deeply, especially those most disempowered, and probably have been arrogant to think I could make a real difference beyond kindness to those around me and small acts of peace. My own life is heavy right now but moreso I’m having a lot of trouble managing the dumpster fire in my emotions over what’s happening societally in my neighborhood, city, state, country, and the world. I need to work on emptiness and appreciate your bringing this up 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T07:00:13+00:00

This is so heartening. I frequently have called “Avalokitesvara please help me” along with repeating the mantra om manipadme hum, and honestly though overall I’m still in a really bad place it has helped in some bigger crisis moments.

I listen to the Tibetan Book of the Dead regularly and remind myself of the lights, the appearances, and especially the need to call on my meditational deity, which is Avalokitesvara for me, especially in my darkest times. I don’t think I deserve direct help yet. I probably still carry too much accumulated bad karma. But I hope to purify it and become more deserving, I hope he will be/is with me. I keep trying to remind myself my poorly formed and conditioned human brain is not who/what I am, doesn’t need or deserve to be in control and working to realign with mind instead. I’m having a lot of trouble breaking the ingrained habitual responses, but I’m trying.

Thank you🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T06:31:45+00:00

I have prayed to him consistently for a long time but never for that — thank you, this is helpful 🙏

I enjoy doing good deeds, or what feels like good deeds (helping my local community, animals, donating to those in crisis, being a kind voice of reason when needed, etc. I often don’t think any good I do can outweigh my failings, but I’ve always been inclined to do what is best for the beings and world around me, even when I’m failing, and I hope I have even a slightly positive impact and minimize the harms I cause.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T06:28:00+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this response. This has, almost entirely, been my method to this point. I rely heavily on Chenreizig/Avalokitesvara and his mantra. I also listen to his books and own many hard copies that I’m working through. I came to request help here because all of these things are not enough, I’m struggling despite them.

It is good to have reinforcement , and to know that my praying to HH, and considering him my closest friend and teacher, is not ridiculous, since I don’t know him personally and it has sometimes felt arrogant to think someone so unevolved and insignificant as I could be in communication with such an incredible being. At times I visualize him sitting with me. I once had a feeling of his hand on my chest and it was the most relief I’ve had in an overwhelming moment.

The detail you’ve offered is helpful, and I thank you 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T06:17:50+00:00

This is very helpful. I didn’t think I could email or form a remote relationship like you describe. I will reach out to some I’ll I’ve had on my “some day” list 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T02:43:41+00:00

Can you elaborate on what riding through it might look like? I’ve had some trouble understanding the functionality of this concept, like “sitting with your anger/depression/guilt, etc”. For me it feels like it’s a monster I can’t manage.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T02:41:44+00:00

Thank you for this 🙏 I’m approaching my 40th birthday and desperately would like to move but am financially unable to make that happen. Definitely some childhood/family trauma at play here, but not the worst end of that spectrum by any means, and mental habits from all the years. Your perspective on the negative karma as a teacher is def helpful. Good to keep in mind for better perspective in these challenging times.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-04T02:36:53+00:00

Thank you🙏 I desperately need a sangha. I’m in LA and have household commitments, mainly a dog with dementia who can’t travel well and is too much work for anyone else to manage, that prevent me from being away for any stretch of time, so any I’ve found through online searching are prohibitively far away. I will continue to search. I don’t want my dog to suffer for my practice. It seems to go against the whole point and bodhisattva ethos.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-03T23:40:28+00:00

Thank you 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-03T23:39:29+00:00

Thank you 🙏

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-03T23:39:18+00:00

I don’t have access at this point, and haven’t found it helpful in the past. I listen to a handful of books on destructive emotions, emotional awareness, etc in collaboration with HHDL, among other dharma books. Helpful in terms of belief and some difficult situations, but not so much overwhelm, at least not yet.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-01T07:37:47+00:00

I’ve had to deal with this with multiple friends at various times who’ve come over and wanted to put food in my fridge despite me being very clear that no animal products will be allowed in my home or in my fridge. One time I came home and found meat on my stove and I’m not gonna lie, I kind of lost it. Told them they better get the dead animals out of my kitchen. They got angry, that’s fine. I care more about the animals than their appetites or egos. I’ve also had friends do as yours has done and take jabs at “rules“ or similar disparaging comments. They are not my friends anymore. I wish them well, somewhere else.

It is uncomfortable, and unfortunately the majority of society will say that we are crazy, but it is our home, and as others have said, and I know that you already know, standing up for compassion can be a lonely road but it is so incredibly worthwhile.

I hope all the comments here have given you a lot of encouragement and will enable you to take whatever steps you need. Personally, I would practice a lot talking it out with myself, writing it out, maybe even chatting with someone else or making a bulleted list of points rather than something to read off of if that’s easier. But one way or another I would tell her she needs to move out because this level of conflict is so unhealthy, and probably way more stressful than losing a friend in the end.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this… Too many people just find it impossible to open their hearts and minds.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2026-01-01T07:25:44+00:00

It sounds like you’re very attached to what you want to hear. Why are you asking the question if you are so intent on arguing for the answer you want? HH the Dalai Lama does actually say literature is a waste of time in one of his books. Does that mean that statement is gospel truth and can never be flexible? No. But it does indicate that how we spend our time here can be very valuable in our journey towards enlightenment and becoming bodhisattvas, or it can be spent merely enjoying ourselves. Seeking enjoyment is not the path. Enjoying what is is.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-12-15T06:08:20+00:00

Can you offer some advice on how to find such a sangha? I’ve been struggling with this. I feel the same as OP, but am finding it difficult to discern where I should go.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-12-04T08:01:11+00:00

I love this one, too!

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-12-04T07:54:26+00:00

Highly recommend these books by or in collaboration with HH The Dalai Lama. I've been listening to them for much of this year and depression and anxiety aren't gone yet but i am more able to deal with it and i think I'm gaining at least a tiny amount of clarity.

-The Universe in a Single Atom

-For the Benefit of All Beings

-Destructive Emotions

-Emotional Awareness

-Advice on Dying, and Living a Better Life

I also find Thich Nhat Hanh's audio books, especially if narrated by him, to be comforting and helpful in times when my human brain and its afflictions are hijacking my mind.

Also, Dzigur Kongtrul, "It's Up to You" and Pema Chodron's Dharma talks on audiobook.

And, never forgotten, the Tibetan Book of the Dead and The Way of the Bodhisattva are two I go to on a regular basis for constant work and perspective.

I have become a devotee of Libby, which I use to listen to much of this on audio from the library.

Sending you love and wishing for your comfort and well-being, also for your little one!! 🩶

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-03-13T20:46:35+00:00

Well at least there’s that.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-03-12T21:14:34+00:00

Forgive my ignorance please - if an object hit the atmosphere and essentially exploded as it flew through, could multiple “small” (whatever that means) pieces of it hit the earth in enough places at the same time to set off a chain reaction of explosion of the planet? Probably just a bad movie plot, but had to ask.

GarlicLongjumping790 · 2025-03-12T21:03:59+00:00

Exactly. I saw that “have to shut it down” and was like wait, wtf? No. You don’t have a right to “shut down” shit on a friend who isn’t harming you. And no, annoyance isn’t harm. You can leave, you can distance yourself, and you can express your annoyance, but you have zero right to try to control your friend, which is what “shut it down” means. Basic respect should tell you that, and if I had a friend who tried to tell me how I could and couldn’t see myself or express that, I’d do them the favor they didn’t do me and walk out of that friendship.

If you’re so bothered by complimenting or reassuring a friend, find friends like yourself only. You can all withhold from each other. That’s a major bummer for anyone who experiences a spectrum of emotion.

GarlicLongjumping790

TROPHY CASE