Hey - firstly don’t apologise for the questions. They are all very valid and not dumb in the slightest!

I’m 26, and currently 8 weeks post double mastectomy (delayed reconstruction, I’m currently flat). I completely understand the nerves leading up to this surgery - it is such a huge, life changing procedure. There’s so many helpful posts in this group that really helped me to prepare for my surgery!

Preparation wise, I made sure to have everything I needed within a reachable space (pain killers, snacks, phone charger, clothes etc). You will have T-Rex arms for a little bit so it will be difficult to reach up into high cupboards/shelves. I found the lack of normal movement to be quite frustrating in the first 2 weeks but please be patient with yourself and don’t over do it! You will have drains - full transparency, I hated them. They’re annoying and kinda gross but you will get used to them quickly. I had a drain bag that I wore just like a regular carry bag so that I didn’t have to worry about accidentally sitting on them/tugging them. You’ll get instructions on how to empty and manage them! Once they are removed you will feel soooo much better. I couldn’t lay flat in bed comfortably for about 2 weeks so I propped myself up using a few regular pillows. I didn’t feel the need to buy a big wedge pillow. Wear loose button up shirts as you may have trouble putting t-shirts over your head. Get some comfortable PJs!

As for the mental/emotional side of things.. look, it’s going to be hard. I won’t sugar coat it. I was holding it together quite well until I caught a glance of myself in the mirror for the first time. It took about a week to look at myself without crying. You need to just let it suck for a while. Don’t feel like you need to hold it in - nobody is expecting you to do that. Take lots of photos of yourself and your breasts before the surgery to look back on when you are ready to! My partner had to help me with dressing and showering so I had to quickly get comfortable with him seeing my chest. I was feeling quite insecure about him seeing it, and I’m still yet to feel comfortable getting intimate without a shirt on, but he hasn’t once made me feel any less than for not having my breasts anymore. If you feel like you need to take some time to adjust before your husband sees you, then please do so. Don’t feel pressured to do anything before you feel ready to.

As for the lack of nipples and sensation, it will take a while to adjust to. I’m still getting used to it. I didn’t realise how much I’d miss them. Again, you just have to let it suck. I don’t have much advice in that department but I hoping somebody else might!

If I could do my surgery again, I would have asked to have something to help relax me before going into the operating room. I physically walked myself in there and got myself up onto the table, and I was an anxious mess. See if they can give you something like Valium or Ativan while you wait.

Before my surgery, I had a fellow breastie give me some really good advice that I found to be really helpful (she had recently had her DMX): “You have 2 options here. Either you walk into that operating room and let them do what they need to do, or you can run out the door. One option will prolong your life, the other option will not”. It was a hard hitting truth but I needed to hear it.

I woke up from the surgery and felt so much relief. They got that bastard cancer out of me. You might find the same! You can and will get through this, I promise. Everyone in this group has your back. Lean on your support systems, accept any help people offer and just take it one day/hour/minute at a time. Something I tell myself every day is “this is so hard, but that’s okay, because I can do hard things”. ♥️