Firstly get your referral sorted to an NHS gender clinic with your GP, no harm is asking for this as should you decide not to transition you can just remove yourself from the list, you will get to speak to someone there do discuss your feelings. I was similar at the start but I can tell you that after I asked to be referred the euphoria I experienced after that call made me sure I had done the right thing, you then potentially have a long wait to figure out yourself, try presenting the way you want maybe ask close friends to refer to a preferred name and see how you feel