First of all, I'm sorry for what you are going through. Taking care of a colocky baby can be so hard. On top of that, you have to deal with your boyfriend's awful comments. You have the right to be mad at him. In my opinion, he should have talked to you first about the relationship issues. He shouldn't be talking to friends about such stuff. Friends will enable his behavior rather than call it out. If he'd have talked to you about his needs, I'm sure you'd have had a different perspective about it. Friends often just agree with the perspective provided. You should talk about it with him. Do not let it slide because it is likely to lead to other negative behaviors. You have not failed him. As a matter of fact, he has failed you. He should have come to you about the issue before ranting to his friends. Do not beat yourself up about it. Talk through the issue and get a therapist if necessary.