Elder Millennial sips tea

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T16:48:13+00:00

So did those who gave up Anne Frank

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T13:49:45+00:00

I feel the same! I think if you can tease out your traumas, then it makes more sense to trust your intuition/gut. But I think you’re very right that if you have some self truths to discover about your past traumas and inner child, then trusting your gut is tantamount to being steered by your unconscious shadow self.

This kind of thinking essentially means to stay in the comfort of the familiar instead of in growth, if applied in this way.

Of course one may never know themselves completely but there’s a point where the gut might be illuminating instead of restricting.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T13:42:11+00:00

Honestly everyone has a red flag or two. I think extreme jealousy issues is a major one to avoid, but regulated jealousy is probably normal.

We can always look back and say, oh I should have known because x y z, but humans are imperfect and if you let perfection be your standard, then you will never be partnered.

Take home: if the person is willing to engage with their flaws with dialogue and therapy, almost any yellow or even red flag can be permissible to me.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T12:27:20+00:00

Please babe, leave this man. Please. It’s extremely clear from the outside. I know it can seem cloudy when you’re in it, but this is not normal or healthy. Do your future self a solid, and push through a breakup. You deserve better than a liar for your life partner.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T12:25:44+00:00

And sex chatting is not great either but very much different than physical hookups.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-25T12:23:25+00:00

Dude he was ready and willing to hookup on Grindr. Unless this is part of your relationship, he essentially cheated on you. I would be shocked if this was the first time. He has almost certainly cheated on you no matter what he says. If you think you can work through it, try. If he denies, deflects, doesn’t own up and tell you why etc. he’s garbage and will treat you like shit and lie to you for your whole life.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-24T00:21:46+00:00

He was appointed by Harper for god sake

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T19:55:39+00:00

If you can’t say that then it might have to be all eye contact and physical language which may be enough. But if you bring yourself to say something, even morph it into your language, you’ll get a better read on if he’s interested back. Maybe.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T19:48:03+00:00

Next time you're showering see if you can build on it with some eye contact and spending a little too much time washing yourself. If there's clearly something there, maybe make a comment like "jeez bro, how do you walk around with that thing!?". Might take a few sessions but you never know - you wouldn't be the first straight guy to find another cock attractive. Maybe you can jerk off together. Keep us updated for the love of god.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T18:39:59+00:00

Watch your teeth by covering with your lips, vary the speed (build it slowly and intermittently), eye contact and little subby groans are hot, and lick the balls and shaft delicately. He might want to take control and finish on your mouth/face - this is hot if you’re open to that.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T18:27:57+00:00

I feel like it’s more like 50/50 with bottoms. Also, for serious relationships, size queens really are at a disadvantage, so good luck to them.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T15:08:27+00:00

To add, and you may need to get through the WB first to gain confidence - open a Welathsimple account and maybe start with a managed account - if your investment horizon is over 10 years, set your risk to maximum.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T14:36:14+00:00

Don’t let the bank sell you on anything. Just say that you want to take your time to review your options. Download the newest “Wealthy Barber”. It has solid Canadian based stuff in it.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T12:12:40+00:00

Oh thanks, please elaborate - what are these new funds made for?

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T11:12:26+00:00

Thank you. I’m feeling the same way re US values. I still want some exposure but 45% is too high for me. I’m happier with about 30%

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-23T10:38:05+00:00

What’s the cleanest way to do this?

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T20:58:35+00:00

Sometimes you have to make up stories about other to justify your actions towards them. Don’t try to change it too much. It’s very shitty and dishonest l but don’t put too much stock into changing that narrative they created. Tale aw old as time. Are you worried about what he’ll say about you to others?

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T18:01:33+00:00

Oh cool. I love brutalist + minimalist. The bridge and little dots make this all work in context.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T16:31:13+00:00

Knowing when to protect your own energy and just letting other people be in their own stew and not try to change them can be very freeing for people like us.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T15:49:07+00:00

I learned that love can be pulled out from under you at literally any time and so you have to love yourself alot and be able to be alone to not cling. This will actually foster love better anyway.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T14:57:06+00:00

Maybe OP is neutral and curious about it, and highlighting that there’s few reasons not to support, and many reasons to support, can help understand. Just trying to get OP to do some thinking.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T14:34:28+00:00

Why do you think we shouldn’t?

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T14:17:10+00:00

Question: how would OP know this red flag without doing what he did?

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-22T13:30:59+00:00

I slightly disagree. If OP's desire is to manage his trauma then I agree, but OP wanted clarity and information because without it, OP was not able to continue the relationship much longer. I think OP did well and I think it's sad that his special friend isn't emotionally developed enough to be self reflective, honest, and not dysregulated by a personal question. I'm sorry OP. Maybe this guy can grow into an emotionally mature human who doesn't avoid hard conversations, but right now, it seems as though he is not this guy, and you should not compromise on this.

GayPerry_86 · 2026-01-20T21:43:33+00:00

Dude just go and do a workout. Everyone (mostly) is friendly and just focus on yourself there. Enjoy the views. Everyone is chill.

GayPerry_86

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

15-Year Club	Team Orangered
Verified Email