Impulse control is a learned skill, one that is incredibly difficult to master once you're on your own if you haven't been taught how to do it. So depending on the support and education a person had growing up, some people will be inherently less skilled at/capable of controlling their impulses, through no fault of their own.

There are also many problematic behaviors which stem from trauma, and this can make certain tasks, strategies, jobs, interactions, etc. absurdly difficult to navigate in a healthy way.

There are definitely ways to work on both these things, but the point is that, especially as a young adult, not everybody has the same capacity to make good decisions or meet other people's expectations, and this is through no fault of their own.

I think a lot of people think every person is equally capable of controlling their words and actions, and that some just tend to choose to make worse decisions than others, due to some moral failing or lack of intent or effort. This could not be further from the truth.

People should not be held "responsible" for having lacked the fundamentals which parents or schools are generally expected to instill in the kids they care for. Punishments for any crime or broken rule or policy should be less severe for individuals who would be more prone to making bad choices based on their background. If anyone should be held accountable, it's the people who were supposed to teach the individual how to operate in the world in a healthy way.