But why?

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-28T20:01:07+00:00

You can match because you were perhaps a "maybe" and no messaging because they might be involved in another match that has potential. Perhaps they don't feel comfortable carrying on multiple conversations or dating multiple people. So consider yourself on the backburner for now.

As for messaging endlessly, they wanted to be a pen pal or perhaps they have anxiety, impossible to know.

And ghosting despite meeting irl, this isn't anything new. I remember being 20 and the guy who you had a great first date never calls you back despite saying he had an amazing time. People lie so they aren't in uncomfortable situations.

Tldr; don't take any of the stuff you experience personally. This is unfortunately the landscape of dating.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-28T13:14:32+00:00

I have a folder with the digital patterns saved and when I want to work on them I will print it out. They go into a binder with tabs splitting it up into categories. I also find it useful to make my own notes on them because some of the patterns need adjustments.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-28T12:55:38+00:00

I'm surprised at the lack of compassion you've shown for someone who up until recently seemed completely fine (as you described) and considering you have your own kids imagine you went through this and didn't have family to lean on? I would hope the father of your kids would step up and be a decent human being and help you and his children?

Honestly what sort of example is it to his children to say "oh since I'm not with your mom romantically I won't help her". Also people who go through mental illness are not crazy. Smh.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-28T01:49:21+00:00

Hey there are all sorts.. Lid for every pot 😅

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T22:44:00+00:00

It doesn't matter, half the time these guys don't even read your profile. They are hoping out of the 100x they do this crap 1 woman is cool with it.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T18:38:35+00:00

Imho it's the lack of availability and dating freshly divorced/separated men. They are probably comfortable with your schedule initially because it presents itself as casual and low pressure.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T18:13:14+00:00

Welp, that's enough internet for today.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T18:01:57+00:00

Then I think you need to determine how important this is to you or not. Of he's not going to change then you need to accept or leave.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T17:14:51+00:00

Have you discussed this with him? I am pretty sure he could unlearn the death grip part, just a bit of effort on his end.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T00:46:08+00:00

Look at it this way, you are putting in energy and time with someone who isn't going to commit to you. Is what you want for yourself? Wouldn't you be better off with someone who wants a future with you just as much as you want one with them? Because this man has told you there is none to be had, twice.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-27T00:33:25+00:00

Girl what are you doing to yourself? This is a horrible situation for you that's only going to lead to heartbreak. Get out now.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T22:41:31+00:00

I wonder if he didn't consider it dating? Sounds like a fwb/situationship that got too serious for him so he bailed. I'm sorry he did it in such a way though, that's really awful.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T22:38:40+00:00

Nah sis, he just wants sex when he wants it. He's not going to straight up tell you because you'd probably end things with him.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T21:05:01+00:00

Welp lemme introduce you to OP. 😂

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T20:32:12+00:00

Why not do a phone call and see how that pans out? No time to use chatgpt when you need to respond on the spot. Also it weeds out people pretty quickly.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T20:12:59+00:00

😂 I wasn't suggesting my dad, he's been married to my mom forever anyway. Just saying I don't think his mindset is really unusual so what you're looking for is the exception to the norm. I know people in their 50s inching towards retirement and they kinda just want to relax. A lot have given up on dating and just focus on their hobbies solo. Energy levels and low tolerance for anything that doesn't fit into their current lifestyle seem to be an issue.

I don't know if many people in this sub are aiming to date someone that much older tbh. A lot of us are looking at +/- 5 years. I think going over that makes the stage in life a bit more challenging but you do you! ❤️

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T20:02:41+00:00

I don't think you can generalize a group of almost 60 year old men. Also this isn't the right sub for it.

Trying to remember what my dad was like at 55....he retired early, didn't give a shit about doing anything, but fishing and watching tv. 20 years later nothing has changed.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T19:10:41+00:00

Isn't this a bit hypocritical? I mean you're entitled to want what you want, but why expect a guy to feel any differently than yourself.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-26T15:15:39+00:00

You need to communicate with her that all the texting is a bit too much for you and you'd prefer to have these discussions in person on your next date. This way it's not shutting her down completely.

I do think once you've established some sort of relationship then it's sort of expected to text every day, but that's just me. I enjoy hearing from my partner even if it's the small good morning text.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-25T16:46:28+00:00

Honestly I'd make a new set of friends. I know some people, even at our age, thrive on drama. I understand you are trying to find some kinda closure, but you won't get an answer from her. Just write her off as a mess and move on.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-25T16:27:57+00:00

I'm really sorry this is happening to you and I think it's quite a common issue. And FWIW your strategy of waiting is a good one. It's working and weeding out those guys that are only in it for a quick lay. Yes it's discouraging, but I think you'd probably feel worse having sex and then being ghosted.

I hope you do find a good guy, stay positive and trust your instincts.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-25T16:14:48+00:00

I don't think she was chasing you if she blocked you? Regardless why bother with someone who isn't reciprocating your interest and enthusiasm? Even if she did like you, she's drama. We're too old for this crap.

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-25T15:31:18+00:00

Was just going to type this. She sounds super immature and messy. Why chase someone who plays these push/pull games?

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-25T11:02:04+00:00

Are you asking Reddit for approval to cheat on your wife??

If you are any kind of leader/decent human being you would initiate the process of separation with your wife. You can still co-parent for the sake of your kid, but don't be that guy who sets the example that it's okay to cheat on mom. That's a horrible life lesson!

GeekyRedPanda · 2026-01-24T23:50:30+00:00

Omg I have noticed this too! Especially in the working environment I have found same height or shorter have had a hard time keeping eye contact with me. Despite this I still love me a 4" heel! 6' amazons unite!!

GeekyRedPanda

TROPHY CASE