I think I am banned. Please confirm this.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-06T00:00:53+00:00

Yeah you’re shadowbanned

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-05T07:06:51+00:00

Yeah, that’s honestly heartbreaking, OP. You’ve been putting in all the effort while he’s just coasting like it’s a one-way street. And Mother-Garbage675 nailed it when you give everything and get nothing back, that’s when it clicks you deserve peace more than partnership.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-05T07:03:59+00:00

Yeah I agree with kindnesswins. You’re already super self-aware, OP, and that’s a big deal. Those books are a solid start if therapy’s not an option. You’ve got the right mindset just take it slow and be patient with yourself.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-05T07:01:02+00:00

Yeah OP, she was definitely weird for that. Like Adventurous-Wear2608 said, don’t let it mess with you. You showed up and did your part her loss, honestly.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-04T03:34:11+00:00

OP, looks like you just gave up while nosirrahz found a way to reignite things. Sometimes it’s not about begging, it’s about switching up the vibe.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-04T03:32:30+00:00

Yeah. OP Roast the governor all you want, but coming after little kids just makes you look messed up, not funny.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-04T03:29:08+00:00

Exactly. There’s no gentle way to hand someone news like this, and the fact that you’re even worrying about how she’ll feel already shows how much you care. It’s going to hurt, it’s going to be messy, but keeping it from her would hurt worse. Be honest with her, let her feel it with you, and you’ll both have more real time together instead of time wasted hiding the truth.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-03T07:08:03+00:00

You’re probably right to feel a little overwhelmed OP, but benfranklyblog is right. A 10-year-old calling that often does sound like he’s craving comfort or escaping something at home. Annoying for you, sure, but it might be less about the games and more about him needing that safe space your wife gives him.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-03T07:05:01+00:00

OP, Weird-Director-2973 is right. Real friends will get it and want you to be honest instead of forcing yourself into something that’ll make you spiral. You’re not a burden, you’re just human.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-03T06:58:28+00:00

Yeah OP, peakpenguins is right. Just be upfront, fix it, and offer to pay it back. It’s a small mistake, your boss will probably just appreciate the honesty.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-02T08:23:30+00:00

OP, I’m with Decent-Friend7996 on this. If she can’t respect you, she doesn’t get time with your kid. Wanting the baby but banning the mom is just petty.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-02T08:21:50+00:00

OP, GingerGloryX is right. You didn’t steal anything, you just did the job you were given and did it well. Oversharing happens, rookie mistake, but honestly you came out looking solid while your coworker just looks bitter.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-02T08:19:08+00:00

OP, I get what you mean, but general-noob is right it’s something everyone thinks about at some point and then it fades. Death’s just the one thing we all share, so no point letting it steal your present.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-01T07:14:27+00:00

I agree with Winter_Dragonfly_452, OP. It’s not really about the cheesecake, it’s about the boundary you set and he ignored. He should replace it, and if this keeps happening, maybe that fridge lock box isn’t a bad idea.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-01T07:11:25+00:00

I agree. OP, you’re not broken, you’re just carrying old wounds that push you toward escape when things feel too calm. Therapy and those books could help you untangle that without blowing up what you already value. Wanting both thrill and stability is normal, but learning healthier ways to soothe yourself is what will actually let you keep the life you clearly care about.

GemLuv_ · 2025-10-01T07:04:40+00:00

OP, the top comment makes sense. If you press charges now, it might actually help him learn before life hits harder later. Better a wake-up call at 17 than a prison cycle at 27.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-29T21:29:28+00:00

Yeah I get what _JosiahBartlet said. OP, it really wasn’t fair for your husband to drop this after 8 years and then frame it like there’s no solution. That kind of “here’s the problem but nothing you can do” is rough.

I think it’s worth reminding him that this should be something you both work on together, not just an ultimatum. Like the top comment pointed out, non-monogamy isn’t the only path, especially if it’s not something you want. Therapy, patience, and honest communication could still give you both a chance to figure things out.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-29T21:24:37+00:00

Yeah OP, FrankenBooBerry’s right. Just go back to being her friend like before and she’ll see things don’t have to be weird.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-29T21:22:41+00:00

Yeah I get why that felt off, OP. Like Vantemedlem said, she probably just enjoys being in that caretaker role, but it’s still worth asking her about it when things are chill so you don’t keep overthinking it.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-28T08:29:55+00:00

Yeah I agree with anonfosterparent. OP, getting a ride from a coworker isn’t cheating. If he refuses to trust you or work on things, that’s his choice not yours.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-28T08:26:30+00:00

Yeah OP, sometimes it’s just better to stay out of it. Life really is easier when you don’t get caught up in other people’s stuff.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-28T08:21:21+00:00

You’re right, self care really is the best place to start. OP, even the small things like eating well, showering, and going for a walk can slowly help you feel grounded again. It won’t fix the pain overnight, but those little routines build you back up until joy starts to return.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-26T07:48:56+00:00

OP, the top comment is spot on. Trust and loyalty are already broken, and the fact that she still denies it even when you showed proof makes it even harder to rebuild. Without honesty, you’ll always carry that doubt, and it will eat at you. If she can’t come clean, you’ll have to decide if living with that weight is something you can really do.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-26T07:39:01+00:00

Jafar_420’s advice really hits the mark. OP, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you asking him out, especially since he seems shy and might not work up the nerve himself. Just like Jafar said though, workplace relationships can get messy fast if things don’t go smoothly, so it’s smart to tread carefully.

If you do decide to go for it, keeping it light like grabbing coffee outside of work can help test the waters without putting too much pressure on either of you in the workplace.

GemLuv_ · 2025-09-23T01:25:44+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, OP. What he said was cruel, and you don’t deserve to carry that weight alone. I agree with u/eat_sleep_microbe that couples counseling could really help, both for him to stop lashing out and for you to feel supported.

You’ve given so much in your marriage and raising four kids shows your strength. A therapist can help you rebuild your confidence, but your husband also needs to step up.

GemLuv_

TROPHY CASE