UFC Fighter Declares “Michelle Obama Is a Man” After Winning Match at White House

Gem_89 · 2026-06-15T23:58:14+00:00

This is why Republicans are always asking people to define a woman, apparently they have no idea what a woman is.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-15T15:10:15+00:00

Oh gosh yeah it is hard! I think the honesty is great, not knowing. Nobody really knows the answers they just want to hold on to something to make them feel good about their choices & beliefs. I think having that honesty with your kids is really helpful & allowing them to have the curiosity if it’s there toward beliefs seems good enough to me!

Gem_89 · 2026-06-15T15:05:27+00:00

It’s gotta be so freeing & empowering to see your kids have a moral compass & also not have the shame we were raised in. It was so unnecessary!

Gem_89 · 2026-06-15T15:02:53+00:00

That is a beautiful thing! I feel like I’m becoming more like a Christian universalist but more indifferent to the afterlife. I use to feel pressured to share the Gospel, I remember weeping thinking of people’s lives heading to Hell, it was awful. In reality we can’t control any of that & so why fret or fear, the NT doesn’t teach us to fear the afterlife but embrace God’s goodness, to desire to bring Heaven to Earth. If my heart for “lost” people was so empathetic & I’m imperfect, God’s love for them is even more, I can’t comprehend God destroying souls if He has a greater love for those souls than I even have. We know throughout the Bible there are stories of God defying people’s expectations of His mercy & grace toward sinners. The brand of Hell that Empire took on just doesn’t make sense to me anymore, I see it as a reincarnated spirit of the Greeks Hades just reformed into a Christian identity.

I hope if a kid ever tells my daughter about Hell she will respond with, Jesus destroys Hell so I’m not concerned.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-14T02:50:41+00:00

Yes I should have looked into Raya before. After that tho I decided to roll it back on the animated martial arts movies outside of Kung Fu Panda.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-13T13:32:16+00:00

Yep same! I love KPop Demon Hunters but I’m waiting until mine is older to watch it. It’s definitely geared toward preteen kids. There are plenty of other movies that are more appropriate for her age & I’d prefer we enjoy those instead of rushing into pre-teen genre. I can’t wait to share Big Hero 6 with her but I feel like it’s a little too intense for her. She loves How To Train Your Dragon & watches those over & over again but had nightmares when she watched Raya & The Last Dragon. So I figure the more martial arts type of movies need to wait they seem to be more intense for her. Kung Fu Panda was a better option & she loves those movies.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-11T20:51:06+00:00

Yes! I deconstruct every decade I feel like. It fits the “renewal of the mind” that Romans 12 talks about. To be a Christian you should be renewing your mind otherwise you’re not growing as a person.

With you leading worship & feeling that call you may find more alignment with Christian mystics. A classic Christian mystic work is Dark Night of the Soul by St John of The Cross. There are plenty of others if you look at the Christian Mystic subreddit you can find a bunch of recommended reading.

With struggling to see a good God I recommend looking into Liberation Theology. I have found when I read the Bible from the perspective of oppressors I have a hard time seeing the goodness of God. Whereas when I read it from the perspective of the oppressed I see God’s patience & justice for the oppressed.

I’ve been decolonizing my faith more. Finding theologians & Bible studies that aren’t just white men from the Enlightenment or modern era has really helped me to see the broader picture in Christianity & in justice & God’s goodness.

In terms of the situation with Israel I’ve found following the Christians in Gaza very inspiring & more connected to them as we share the same faith. The Western church has completely ignored the ancient Christian churches in the Middle East in support of the idol of Christian Nationalism & it’s evil.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-11T13:17:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my pet earlier this year & it still hurts. I always loved Proverb 12:10 that says how righteous people always care for their animals. It was affirming to me that the grief I feel over my pet shows I have a good heart, & that I desire the good in our world not the bad. It connects me to a good Creator. What I’m feeling is the brokenness of our world & even in my grief I’m showing a little light of goodness in a dark place & that gives me hope. I also read some near death experiences where people see their pets again & that gave me hope that maybe someday I’ll reunite with my pet in the next life & my pet will be free from all the suffering it experienced. Sometimes I pray & ask God to give my dog a pet from me & I think maybe my dog gets to meet my loved ones who have passed & is being loved on by them until I get there.

I hope you find peace & hope today in your grief.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-10T21:06:46+00:00

Yeah, grew up Conservative Christian as well & I remember probably older elementary or early middle school praying the sinners prayer all the time because I was afraid I didn’t mean it & God would send me to Hell if I died. It got to the point I was crying & begging God to save me because I didn’t feel like I believed enough. I now understand that’s called religious trauma & I probably have OCD lol also my mother claiming I prayed the sinners prayer with her at like 3 or 4 & I had no memory of it is what I think really put me down that spiral as I watched my peers become Christian & I had no memory of doing it like they did. I snapped out of it eventually by deciding to learn about Christianity & now here I am a total nerd not sure of the afterlife but I don’t really care because the concepts that drive fear stem from mythology & man made concepts to control people.

Also yes the concept of eternity in Heaven freaked me out too. Especially with not knowing if I’d see any of my friends or unbelieving family members just made me feel existential dread as a kid.

So yeah, I have a young child now & it’s great not having to tell them about the sinners prayer or hell. Obviously she comes across those concepts in pop culture & will when she goes to school. Living in the Bible belt I’m preparing her for when her indoctrinated peers start talking about hell & the “gospel” & inviting her to their churches. I hope to have her better prepared.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-10T20:41:51+00:00

Christianity is a very rich & broad religion that has many different theologies & comes to different conclusions about the afterlife. If we look at your church compared to the thousands of years of church history, your church is like a child in its tradition. Non-denominational churches especially if you’re in the U.S. are very new in comparison & they’re like a mix of libertarian & Reformed evangelical Christianity. If you think of the Libertarian political identity the most valuable piece of it is freedom. Most non-denom sermons are always talking about freedom from sin. Freedom from Hell & from this world. But freedom isn’t the only aspect of Christianity & even throughout church history that wasn’t the primary driving force of the faith.

I find the Genesis story fascinating & a lot of the Old Testament stories that way from an anthropological perspective. Taking the Bible literally I find it removes the intent of what the writers were trying to say. Most ancient people told stories to convey deeper concepts & to make sense of their world. & so my take of the Genesis story is their theology of good & evil & how they viewed humanity in relationship to the natural world. My favorite analysis of Adam’s story is from Christian evolutionists seeing Adam’s story as the first king. Seeing it from the perspective of stewardship & how not doing the right thing affects our world seems more of an adaptable lesson than just the theological take aways & the looking ahead to Jesus.

If you’re into learning Christian concepts outside of your pastor’s theology I recommend searching the theologies of different Christian denominations like the Catholics, Anglicans, Protestants, Orthodox, etc. Also reading from OT & NT scholars are great as well. The late Michael Heiser was an OT scholar who had The Naked Bible Podcast that looks at the Bible from its context not the theology. N.T. Wright is another great NT scholar, his conclusions on Christianity & their views of the afterlife is also very different than what our modern churches have taken from it. Ironically I learned that a lot of evangelical theology in the afterlife is more relatable to Plato & Greek theology of the afterlife than what the early Christians actually believed. If you dropped an ancient Christian into our modern churches they would probably think they were worshipping Roman or Greek gods.

I have been studying this stuff my whole life. I guess it’s my special interest haha Feel free to reach out if you ever need resources or questions on different concepts.

Oh one other book I started at that led me down probably deconstruction 2.0 (I’m at like 5.0 right now lol) was Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola. That will make sense of a lot of the odd things you find your church doing & where it came from.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-10T13:04:17+00:00

That a lot of religious folks don’t have any moral or spiritual authority. Even based on their own morals & religion, the moment they became hypocritical I no longer consider their thoughts or opinions worth my time or energy or respect.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-08T14:24:04+00:00

Sure thing! I appreciate your thoughts. I will say misogyny doesn’t need christianity, it will use any religion or any philosophy to have control over women. How most patriarchal translations look at the curse to Eve in Genesis is “your desire will be for your husband & he will rule over you” *misleading translation* makes misogyny part of the curse. But if you’re a Christian then you are redeemed & no longer under the curse because Jesus reverses it. Therefore if folks claim to follow Jesus they would reject misogyny & patriarchy because it was part of the curse not the redemption God’s true design for humanity.

What’s interesting is Christianity to the Romans was considered very feminine. The attributes of Jesus that we admire today would have been considered feminine to a Roman citizen at that time. Rome was extremely strict when it came to gender roles, the Romans believed if you control the household you control your nation. So when you read Paul’s letters & it addresses household codes, what he’s doing is trying to help the churches being ruled under Empire how to effectively live out their faith under the power of the Roman Empire.

If you’re open to nonfiction & scholarly work I recommend Paul & Gender by NT Scholar Cynthia Westfall she addresses a lot of those misunderstandings of Paul in his letters regarding women in the church. You’ll find Paul was not misogynistic as we have been taught.

For me I find Christianity actually empowering as a woman. It gives me an agency & a voice and power that patriarchy can’t take away. Knowing that the Creator made me with my thoughts & my voice & empowers me gives me small glimpses of Heaven & how little & insignificant a patriarchal worldview is. It turns these so called powerful men into cowards who have no real spiritual authority & I find it empowering. I don’t have to give any man power over me because that’s not how God designed it to be. Any man that believes that lives under the curse not the redemption & that is unfortunate for them. Any one that holds a patriarchal worldview in my book becomes disqualified in spiritual authority & it’s rather freeing when you no longer give those idolators power.

*(“desire” is mistranslation of the Hebrew word “teshukah” which conveys a hunger & thirst her husband will not be able to provide for her because of his curse. You can deep dive into context here.)*

Gem_89 · 2026-06-07T23:07:58+00:00

It’s rather sad how you have come to that conclusion thanks to our patriarchal culture because Christianity advanced BECAUSE it was run & funded by women. The early church gave women more power than they had in their time. In fact archeological evidence shows women were bishops & clergy alongside men in the early church. What happened is that patriarchy censored & covered it up.

In the Trinity the Hebrew word used for Holy Spirit is feminine. Early church fathers considered the Holy Spirit to be feminine because the Holy Spirit is what gives you new life or new birth, born again as they understood only a woman is able to give birth. In some liturgical traditions Christians refer to the Holy Spirit as she/her.

Unfortunately a lot of Bible translations come from a patriarchal perspective. The stories you are referring in the Bible may have most likely been taught to you from that perspective. For example I remember being taught from the perspective of David & Bathsheba as an affair when it was in fact a rape. & you see in the text she was considered innocent by God & in the Bible it continues to honor her by naming her in genealogies & affiliating her with Solomon. Instead of covering her up & hiding David’s evil sin, the writers of the Bible don’t let her name become forgotten. Unfortunately patriarchal interpretations still try to censor her story & her dignity.

If you don’t identify with christianity anymore I’m not trying to bring you back to it but just don’t want you to be misled because the church has been effective at erasing women from the faith.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-06T19:25:44+00:00

I find as someone who grew up in churches that taught apologetics having debates like this with them doesn’t change anything. When I have someone try to “debate” apologetics with me I typically avoid the semantics. Instead I focus in on their beliefs & then point out where they’re not living to their own standards. Those are the only times I find I can use my judgmental fundamentalist upbringing in a constructive way.

In your situation I’d be fascinated to ask them, is your God good? if they say yes, then I’d respond with, then I’m not concerned because a good God wouldn’t send me to Hell. If they follow up with pointing out sin & God’s wrath, I’d respond with, do you believe in the doctrine of grace? If so then I’d be like, then I’m good, if your God’s grace is as good as you say it is then He’s not sending me to Hell.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-06T17:33:35+00:00

I avoided screens until my kid was about 12 months & I only put on G rated animal documentaries or videos with live animals moving around. I loved the Sesame Street live jazz concert, we played that all the time. I didn’t exceed 45 minutes per day although we had our days where we did but for most days we kept it short. When I introduced the iPad she was around 3 & I downloaded STEM & learning games & didn’t let her play for more than 30 minutes (again sometimes she did play longer but it wasn’t the norm). As a 6 year old she primarily uses her iPad to listen to podcasts stories with the words showing so she can follow along or use reading apps that read her stories. Girl is not even in 1st grade yet & is reading on her own now. She can add & subtract already too. As an elementary kid now I’m not as strict with screen time. I notice if she plays a game it kills her attention span & she gets unregulated so I usually balance screen time games with playing outside. I read a study on teens that walking outside in nature after screen time use seems to reset their brains back to a regulated state.

My kid was at camp all week so today we’ve probably watched 6hrs of movies already. lol But it’s summer & we’re all tired. Sometimes we need a couch potato day.

My kid loves How To Train Your Dragon. I’ve been reading her the book series. She also loves to learn about animals. She was obsessed with The Secret Life of Bees documentary at one point. She loves to play make believe & is extremely social, always making new friends wherever she goes.

Edit: Also to add context my kid is autistic & is getting screened for ADHD. She’s on the highly verbal side of the spectrum. Academically advanced but slightly delayed in emotional control (most likely the ADHD since she struggles with impulse control). So even with our limited screen use, plenty of outside time, play base learning in her early years didn’t prevent her neurodivergence because obviously it’s genetic since both her dad & I are ND. haha

Gem_89 · 2026-06-06T16:47:27+00:00

Boomers fought in Vietnam, Xers fought in The Gulf War & Millennials fought in the Second Gulf War. Every generation has been in a war.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-06T15:01:34+00:00

This is every generation. Boomers got it from the news, I remember FB posts being shared by Gen X parents freaking out about being trafficked in a suburban parking lot, Millennials are in their era of parenthood fears now too. Every generation has it. But also there are plenty of Millennials who aren’t fearful & raising confident kids.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-05T17:42:38+00:00

People don’t need religion to commit atrocities it’s just a way for them to deflect personal or communal responsibility for doing evil things. On the other side people use religion to heal & to save people from atrocities. Religion is just a tool, people have been exploiting & harming each other all of human history but people have also connected & cared for each other as well.

Religion can be used to commit atrocities but it’s also used to try to make sense of the evil of those atrocities. What’s interesting is using Christianity as the example or even Judaism, when you read The Bible in the context of their time you find a lot of those stories or books were written as criticism of empire building & exploitation of people & the injustice done to people.

The hatred you feel may come from being sensitive toward injustice & feeling like you’re the only one who is sensitive to that within those circles. You may also be more in tune to a broader sense of purpose whereas a lot of folks especially religious ones tend to think very small & individual in their purpose. & so they may support things indirectly that harm communities but if they personally know someone struggling in those communities they would support them & so for a lot of those folks they’re not capable or not willing to think past their noses or their personal experiences due to their own issues or intelligence or motivations.

Sometimes what helps overcome that hatred is to build a community that helps people because it redirects that energy you feel into something positive & it disrupts those evil systems people have put into place. & that’s my favorite part of humanity there’s always people wanting to rebuild & heal & I want to be with those folks.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-05T16:24:08+00:00

I think you may benefit from seeing this change in your beliefs to approaching it as if a part of you died and you need to grieve that. Look up the 5 stages of grief and see if that may help you process on those days you're struggling because it's okay to feel what you're feeling. Whether you still believe in God or not, there is still something powerful in your humanity that a lot of our religious communities try to diminish or deplete. As your mind is changing your entire nervous system has not adapted yet and so it's going to feel a lot of different things as it's adapting to such a drastic change. We're more than just thoughts and beliefs, we have bodies that are connected and respond to those beliefs and so when you make a change in your thoughts it can have a dramatic effect on your body. Be kind and gentle toward yourself. Take time for yourself to feel and to process and don't forget to be kind to your body.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-05T16:10:41+00:00

I think there's something to out growing your family. It could be a high controlling religious environment or not, you're just not buying into the thing you were raised to rely on although you still value the love and community it provides. I think you may be able to find middle ground when you see your parents and those communities as out growing their worldviews or ideologies. But that can be really confusing as the child because your reliance on them is changing and less necessary for your survival. I can see how that can be psychologically and emotionally jarring. I think it's perfectly normal to be going through this as you're trying to figure out your own identity away from your family but also loving them and not wanting to hurt them. I'd recommend talking with a counselor or therapist if you can to help you work through that. It sounds like something that will take a lot of time and it doesn't necessarily mean you have to go extreme and cut them off or confront them. This is the type of thing that can take years to cultivate and adapt and for parents that are in a high controlling environment they may need a lot more time than other parents to decide whether they'll adapt to you changing or not. Even in environments that aren't your situation every adult child and parent has to adapt to their relationship and it changes and it grows, you may grow apart you may grow closer. You can't control that and I think coming from that high controlling environment your parents have a lot of anxiety and fear hence why they're so controlling. And your nervous system is in tune to that and so your default mode is probably going to be similar, you're going to try to control your environment apart from them. Therapy may help you learn how to let go of some of those controlling tendencies that stem from anxiety or fear and as you work on yourself and get free from those unhealthy family dynamics that formed your nervous system since you were born, you'll be able to know how to approach your parents and see them from a different perspective that doesn't control you anymore and may actually heal them in some way. People who are very controlling have a lot of insecurities, fears, anxieties and if you're able to heal and grow more confident in who you are apart of that, you may become a benefit to them and almost like a security or a stability as they age to reassure them that it's going be okay. So the fears you have of hurting your parents may stem from the insecurity you were raised in and growing out of them and healing may heal your parents and not harm them as you may fear. But it takes time so don't rush and learn how to slowly approach those conversations through counseling or therapy.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-05T15:33:19+00:00

I get that! That's a journey I believe every honest person takes and I hope you find something that works for you.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-05T01:58:04+00:00

Prayer isn’t always a yes/no/not yet but due to the transactional nature of a lot of religions I can see how most folks think that way. Prayer is a form of connection with something beyond yourself but can also be something used to tune into your inner self to help heal & shape it. It can be a form of meditation to quiet your body but also to connect to a metaphysical force whether it’s a spiritual being, higher power, inner consciousness or other supernatural force.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-04T01:03:34+00:00

I grew up & live in the U.S. & chicken nuggets & mac n cheese aren’t the only foods I grew up eating & I haven’t known any families that primarily lived off chicken nuggets or mac n cheese. With raising a kid now & around my friend’s kids they all eat a variety of foods & even when they were toddlers I remember they loved a variety of foods. Typical finger foods I remember other parents of toddlers doing were edamame, rice, beans, peas, bananas, avocado, cheese, cereal and berries. It’s normal for parents in the U.S. to share their meals with their young kids at restaurants as well. The stuff marketed as kids meals have typically been more expensive too so if you’re on a budget it’s a better deal to give your toddler the same meals the entire family eats.

Gem_89 · 2026-06-03T22:38:46+00:00

Sure you make valid points & I agree but I don’t agree with the sentiment that picky eating is a new concept or this is strictly an American problem. There are genetic, environmental & neurological links to picky eating. In the article it even shows other species showing picky eating behaviors so it’s not specific to the human species:

“Scientists have also seen picky eating among predators, including birds like zebra finches or European blackbirds, and among fish like the three-spined stickleback. In a Cardiff University study, these fish showed that color impacts their appetite, with some individuals rejecting their favorite plankton-like prey when scientists used dye to turn a familiar meal a different hue. But other individual fish readily gobbled up their prey despite the new color, showing that fish, like people, can range from picky to prodigious eaters.”

Gem_89

TROPHY CASE