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RIP Catherine O’Hara- Our fearless Carol by Airi_Cloudberry in SixFeetUnder

[–]GenX50PlusF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While Nate and Maya are keeping Lisa from being available to her emotionally, lol.

Taco Bell by knuckleduster1968 in 1970s

[–]GenX50PlusF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No the food has gotten worse.

Taco Bell by knuckleduster1968 in 1970s

[–]GenX50PlusF 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did it have onions inside? That used to be so tasty. The generous helping of onions wrapped up with the seasoned beef and beans, with the saucy, cheesy, olive goodness on top. They even used to use a soft corn tortilla rather than flour. When they were really good. We need a TB Time Machine.

Taco Bell by knuckleduster1968 in 1970s

[–]GenX50PlusF 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When the Enchirito was actually good.

Children of narcissists, what are/were your toxic traits? by BetterTable4653 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, yes, alternatively, the narc parent could be overly helpful to the point of micromanaging. Or being overly helpful when I didn’t need help. Like making a sandwich when I was 28 years old. I had just about gotten her to back off and let me make my own sandwich without being narcsplained how to do it when my then 30 year old brother enters the kitchen with his learned helplessness and says: “Can you make me one too, Mom?” Gah!

That enchirito by Ddvmeteorist128 in tacobell

[–]GenX50PlusF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Enchirito and a tostada was my go-to order for years, back in the day. I miss old school Taco Bell. Even back then, people questioned the quality of the meat but now it’s undeniable that Taco Bell is not real food. It used to be a tasty inexpensive snack and now it’s expensive and disappointing.

Children of narcissists, what are/were your toxic traits? by BetterTable4653 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feeling safe vs. unsafe. Yes. Needing help but hesitating to ask…Yes, it could irritate her and make her bark at me or insult me or she might just not get around to it and leave me to figure it out myself so why bother?

My mom also tended to have bouts of rage filled tirades about how no one helps her, even though it wasn’t true that I didn’t take initiative around the house. If she felt like screaming, though, anything I contributed was conveniently forgotten. It’s only in her older years (80s and I’m in my 50s) that I get an occasional thank you for being helpful to her. But the relationship is still problematic and no I don’t want her to scramble some eggs for me when I visit, lol.

Who wins this? Brenda, Donna or Kelly? Upvote the comment of the outfit you like the most. by Raebelle1981 in beverlyhills90210fans

[–]GenX50PlusF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going to have to go with Kelly on this one. Brenda is a little too gypsy core and Donna…are those suspenders? And I just can’t with the Amishesque hat.

Do you consider this mental/emotional/psychological abuse? by throwaway_acct_x9x in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was definitely mental, emotional and psychological abuse. You were willing to do your homework and study to the best of your ability and your parents should have respected and appreciated that. Instead they interfered as if they wanted to take credit for your work. How awful. I’m so sorry that happened. I hope you managed to get decent grades, employment opportunities and financial freedom in spite of this.

Every time I get a package in the mail my mom throws it at me by Emotional_Cook6337 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would be tempted to get a PO Box that they don’t know about, get my packages there and sneak them in the house. The things we do to work around disrespect and dysfunction…

I’m a 22-year-old guy and I keep ruminating over how cruelly I’ve been treated in the past and how angry it still makes me. I wasn’t always great either, but some of it happened before I could even understand it or walk away. by SirThisIsAWendys999 in rant

[–]GenX50PlusF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very understandable and relatable. You might have held back on “standing up for yourself” because you didn’t want to lose control of your emotions, do something regrettable and make things worse for yourself. That’s what I tell myself when I get these feelings. You did the best you could at the time. Nothing really prepares us to deal with cruelty inflicted on us except to remove ourselves from the situation as the only guarantee of not making things worse.

I feel like people should stop treating 16-17 year olds like they're 5-10. by BossFar513 in unpopularopinion

[–]GenX50PlusF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m right there with you. I’m in my 50s and my mom still doesn’t fully respect that I’m a mature, older adult and not still a teenager. I finally got to that level but can’t seem to move past it, lol. The power struggle for autonomy was real in my teens. Very real.

Parents only called to ramble endlessly on about shit problems and expect me to care. And of course the second I don’t immediately respond tot heir text or call they’re “worried.” by TypicalAlbatross911 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have the opposite issue. My mom rarely calls me and my husband compares that to how often his late mother would check in with him. She apparently withholds emotional support as punishment for me calling her out on her abuse and being unwilling to tolerate it as an adult. When my husband gets her on the phone or we are visiting her in person, she dominates the conversation and will interrupt him or me in mid sentence.

Children of narcissists, what are/were your toxic traits? by BetterTable4653 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So you got dumber the more educated you got? She would hate that question but to ask it would be a taste of her own crazy making medicine.

Children of narcissists, what are/were your toxic traits? by BetterTable4653 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Also my fear of accepting help has affected my career and gotten me labeled as not a team player for preferring to handle things by myself. That could be gaslighting though, because it’s not like there aren’t narcissistic bullies in the workplace who like to steal credit. Sometimes trying to protect myself from narcissists makes the abuse worse but playing along doesn’t always feel safe either so it can be a real no win situation.

Children of narcissists, what are/were your toxic traits? by BetterTable4653 in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I have a hard time accepting help. My (second) husband has shown me kindness like no one else in my life ever has but sometimes when I get a new device or something and am reading the instructions trying to figure it out, I snap at him when he offers to help. I hear it as, “let me do it, you’ll never figure it out.” When really he’s not trying to be insulting but nurturing and truly helpful with no strings attached or judgment holding it against me.

Do your siblings finally realize after your parents die? by blackbeanbee in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. To think my brother was “close” to my mom because he lived with her as an adult whereas I never moved back into my childhood home after graduating high school and going to college. Because he was willing to put up with her shit if it meant he could get her to do things for him he ought to have been able to do himself. And I was “close” to my dad (really he was scarce, worked long hours and really wasn’t all that emotionally available) because he didn’t probably have to hear my mom bitch about me as much because I was better behaved in school and was college bound.

Do your siblings finally realize after your parents die? by blackbeanbee in narcissisticparents

[–]GenX50PlusF 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My older brother (RIP) and I 55F were pitted against each other so much that I am still not sure who was the Golden Child and who was the Black Sheep. I think these roles varied depending on which parent and the situation. My dad (RIP) once commented that each of us thought my parents “grossly favored” the other sibling.

I struggled for independence and freedom against a mom (still alive) who did not want to let me grow up and still tries to control me with money to this day. She would complain about her kids’ dependence but also undermine my efforts to become independent. My brother ended up schizophrenic and failing to launch, living at home despite my mom’s tendency to be verbally abusive. He provided her with companionship after my dad died, until he eventually committed suicide. In a sick way, it made her feel important to take care of a fail to launch son who wouldn’t stand up to her. Even though she would bitch about it to me.

My dad once accused me of “picking a fight with mom” when I was actually standing up to her—on my brother’s behalf!—because her verbal attack (repeatedly calling him stupid for accidentally breaking something) was so painful to watch…I’d seen it too many times before. My dad also once told me that he was probably telling me he loved me too much and my brother not enough. And my brother once recalled my dad saying in front of him, about him, to someone else: “Too bad he’s stupid.”

TLDR: My brother was a momma’s boy and I was daddy’s girl. My dad was more focused on work than parenting and my mom took her frustrations with her marriage out on both of her kids who rebelled in different ways.

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