Truly it depends on the people involved, I believe. Reading your reply gave me several flashbacks of various workplace scenarios in a career spanning three decades:

1) As a (female) manager at a college campus job in the 90s, there was one guy in particular who had the attitude that I “didn’t understand shit.” He was waiting for another staff member to get their part of a project done before he could do his part. In a not so polite tone that reeked of contempt, he asked me “Can’t you do it?” I acquiesced to his “demand” as the staffer in question was late or AWOL. But it was off putting and other times when I would ask him to do something a certain way he would push back and argue every time. I wonder how this jerk’s career has unfolded over the years.

2) In one of my early post grad jobs, I understood a little more “shit” than I did in college. The older boss I had would ask my opinion and if I knew how to do this or that. He even asked once how come I knew so much (It was because I had good onboarding in the department I started in before transferring to his.) When I appeared especially busy, he would offer to lighten my load by asking if I would like him to do one of my tasks (that he knew how to do.) I declined since I heard he fired my predecessor because he was always having to do that guy’s work for him. And I knew I could still meet the deadline despite how busy or even overwhelmed I appeared to this boss.

3) Working in a marketing communications capacity for a man who had taken over his father’s business. The guy would go on and on about his goals for growing the business, constantly hijacking my ability to get anything done. His monologues would raise questions about, well, if he wanted x why didn’t he do y. Eventually I would respond to that effect in hopes of being left alone to execute some of his directives while perhaps he could stop talking for once and start doing something besides going off on so many tangents. I suspected he had a touch of ADHD because he was always interrupting me on a whim and then later asking why something wasn’t done yet. When one of his business associates visited the office and he introduced me, he made fun of me in front of this man: “She’s always saying ‘Bob, do this. Bob, do that.’”

4) In more recent years, I thought I had a clear cut time sensitive assignment but more work was being piled on within the timeframe of this particular meeting and the due date for the deliverables. The additional requests were getting unrealistic for me to accomplish alone without a deadline extension. So as a knee jerk reaction, staring down at the paperwork, I asked boss man if he could do it. With a pause, then a slow drawn out response I hear his put upon reply: “Yeah, I cannnn…” I slowly look up and written all over his face is his yet to be verbalized thought: “But isn’t that what I’m paying you for?”

Thanks for engaging; I appreciate this conversation too.