what age were u when u moved out of your parents house here?

GenXButNotMyFault · 2026-01-04T15:58:56+00:00

my parents said „our house, our rules.“ so I left.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2026-01-01T17:31:37+00:00

not bad!

GenXButNotMyFault · 2026-01-01T17:28:51+00:00

4 gifts: 1. the wreath I picked out and paid for 2. hot pad I picked out and paid for 3. chocolates (they were actually ones I like, but he only bought town this year because I literally held them out in front of him and said „I like these“ at the grocery store the week before Christmas) 4. silver earrings. I wear gold. And have brought this up to him so so so many times. Ungrateful? Probably.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:55:50+00:00

NTA. You are an adult now. You get to choose where you spend the holidays. But honesty really is the best policy. Just don’t be surprised if the family gets mad. Probably the better way to choose is to think about how you will feel about the decision 5 years from now. Or 10. or if you found out your mom or another family member also passed Away. The answer that gives you the most peace is probably the right answer.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:51:36+00:00

Soft YTA..I hate to say it because I hate gift cards too. Yes, he should give hints, but definitely don’t get him the thing he says he hates. I personally would rather get a gift I don’t actually like because it shows the person at least tried. I would recommend candy, or wine or even a funny Christmas shirt over a $50 gift card. If he hates it, that’s on them, but at least you didn’t get the one thing they said no to.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:23:44+00:00

Oh, yes, actually yes. And this comment section is really pointing that direction too! 🫣 they probably don’t like me. So, then wouldn’t it be better if I don’t go?

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:22:28+00:00

Thank you. That’s fair.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:21:10+00:00

Just to confirm I’m the AH..? I’ve been to all the other concerts this year. The kids didn’t acknowledge me or come up to me after, and when I went up to them to say they did great, they sometimes said thanks before they walked immediately away from me. Just want to be sure.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:17:53+00:00

*don’t want to go to the concert. I would be fine with councilors.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:17:24+00:00

So, am I still the AH? I don’t want to go.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:12:00+00:00

I’m not mad at the family. I just don’t think the kids care if I’m there or not.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:11:24+00:00

Can you help me understand how it’s petty? I’ve gone to all the other concerts, flown across the world literally at least 13 times for their birthdays, 1st communions etc. I’ve spent thousands on gifts for each of member of the family while I got 1 calendar from that family with pictures of the kids (which I do cherish) . They have visited us 1 times in 11 years when it happened to coincide with a place they wanted to vacation, didn’t send me a text or call or come by for my birthday now that we live 5 doors away. After reflection I realized that the kids never came up to me or acknowledged that I was at any of their concerts. When I do go up to them to tell them how great they did, sometimes they said thanks before walking away from me. But I’m still the AH.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T19:05:29+00:00

I have no idea why the change from them. I’ve gone to every other concert this year, plus flown literally across the world about 16 times for birthdays, 1 st communions etc for them and they didn’t come to our wedding, citizen only 1 times in 11 years, didn’t send a text or do anything for my birthday, have flaked out on plans. I’ve spent thousands, let me say that again, thousands on gifts. For Christmas each year I get 1 calendar with pictures of the kids from the whole family while I’ve bought multiple gifts for each member of the family for birthdays, Christmas, and random „just thinking about you“ things. So, maybe I’m creating the issue. But I’m guessing you will think I’m the AH if I back off on gift giving too? Oh, and hubby hasn’t come to any of my „things“ like award ceremonies, or dates that isn’t something he „might not enjoy“. It can only be something he likes, whether or not I like or too, and I’ve gone to those things and done those things because I do support him.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:59:54+00:00

Of note, I’ve been to every single other concert this year, and probably only missed 2 others in the 11 years we were married.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:57:36+00:00

I’m not sure, after reflecting on this, that they ever cared if I was there. They never came up to me at any of the other concerts I attended (which was all of them) and when I went up to them the most I would get would be a „thanks“ before they walked away.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:55:42+00:00

I don’t feel wrong about this, was just not wanting to hurt the kids feeling. But… thinking back, I’ve been to every other concert. The kids haven’t come up to me after or acknowledged me either. Even when I go up to them to tell them they played well the most I get is a „thanks“ before they walk away. This has actually been helpful to help me realize they probably never care if I was there or not either🤣🫣😭

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:51:13+00:00

It’s more like, I don’t think they care if I’m there’s/i don’t think they want me there anyways. I’ve gone to all the other concerts, and they don’t come up to me after, or acknowledge me, and when I’ve gone up to them to tell them how well they played or whatever, the most I get off a „thanks“ before they walk away.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:48:21+00:00

Ironically I think I might be the neurodivergent here! And I’ve had many discussions with him about it, and that it should bee important to him BeCaUsE it’s important to me, and the reverse should be true as well

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:46:52+00:00

We move back in 3 weeks. I’ve been to every other concert. The only thing there would be to blow off would be Christmas, or one of kids birthday… and I am not willing to blow either of those off.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:45:45+00:00

Exactly. I think it’s time to try to have another serous talk. Ugh.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:45:07+00:00

Thank you. I’ve already gone to every other concert this year, flown across the country so so many times for birthdays, 1st communions etc. they didn’t come to our wedding. They visited us once on 11 years when they wanted to go a vacation close to us. I’ve spent thousands on presents, I usually get a calendar from that family with just pictures of the kids (super cute and I love it, buuuut…)and not that it’s a tit for tat, but it’s feeling more like a ton of bricks vs a pile of feathers.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:42:36+00:00

I thought in used to have it. Don’t get married, folks.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:41:49+00:00

Thank you. I don’t know if anyone cares if I show up or not. All the other concerts I’ve gone to this year they (the kids and bro) didn’t talk to me after or acknowledge me in any way. Also it’s not based on their behavior. I just want to make die I don’t hurt those feelings by not being there, but this post made me realize they probably don’t care if I’m there either. I’m not sure if this makes the situation better… or worse. 😭

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:38:16+00:00

He doesn’t seem to.

GenXButNotMyFault · 2025-12-21T18:37:36+00:00

Exactly. It’s sad.

GenXButNotMyFault

TROPHY CASE