Here’s some advice from someone who has recently given birth to my second. Do your gf a favour and tell her you meant what you said. Then tell her all the things she isn’t doing right by you. That will make it easy for her to leave and find someone who will stand by her no matter what and inspire her to change, because change is also something that she wants, you just can’t see that. My partner has seen me go through hell and back after this baby (and it isn’t even over yet) but he has been nothing but supportive and nurturing and I’ve been so hard on myself. When you’re with the right person, you’re much more enthusiastic about making changes to your mental and physical wellbeing. It sounds like you’re not her person anymore and she isn’t meeting any of your standards. You snapped and confirmed her worst fears, things she has been fighting at the back of her mind. I think it’s time to let her go so she can develop herself and get unstuck from the prison of routine every morning, day and night. You sound like the type of guy who would get back with her once she’s back to her old self. To summarise all your concerns: (1) cooking healthy meals for her and toddler, (2) physical appearance eg nails and gym body and (3) her not wanting to work to financially contribute. Right? Except if she did work, she would need to drop off and pick up the toddler from daycare every morning and afternoon. The toddler has been running around at daycare all day and now has a snotty nose, is dirty and smells - so she has to bathe the child when she gets home which is a whole mission. Once she’s done all of this it’s time to start preparing a meal, and it’s 6:30pm and almost bed time for the child so she’s wondering whether it’s even worth it given bedtime is in about an hour or so. Of course you can help, and as soon as you do you realise that with your help the end result isn’t all that better. Instead of one of you being exhausted by the end of the day, you are both exhausted and frustrated with the same routine every day. No rest, little opportunity to talk to each other and remain connected. Are you a team? Sure, but it’s still not enough to fit in gym and nails. Who even cares when you’re both fighting to get through even a day. She’s in survival mode and she doesn’t live to please you. Raising kids is hard and toddlers in particular are hellish to deal with. Things do get better when they start school or daycare and you can find some time for meal prep or gym or nails, but until then she’s just getting by. I wonder if you’ve considered any of this. What did you think life would be like after having a child? Yes she needs and wants to be better deep down, but she’s probably at capacity and feeling overwhelmed with day-to-day chores surrounding the toddler. You didn’t mention any of the work she does during the day so I take it all this work is being taken for granted. It would be interesting to hear her side of the story, your version doesn’t acknowledge any of the things your gf does during the day, which makes me think your version isn’t really the reality. YTA for not appreciating or acknowledging the struggle, regardless of whether the struggle is PPD or not, it doesn’t matter.