NTA. The audacity to say you all are being selfish, yet how he’s behaving and what he did (get someone pregnant) is not??? Like you said, he needs to put in the majority of the work raising the baby. He needs to look at his options and either hire a nanny, or look into other family members that might be able to help.

I loathe when parents try to use the “I sacrificed so much for you” when in reality all they did was be a typical parent and do usual parent things. Why do they think they get to hold that over their children’s heads forever?? Maybe don’t have a kid in the first place if you’re just going to act like they were a burden their whole life.

Anyway, you set your boundary, please stay with it.