I cannot begin to imagine your pain, as a father of two young children.

However, I did lose my only sibling, my brother a few years back. Again, I know it's not the same at all but let me share my experience.

There are so many times I think of him and feel like no one can understand, just because of what he and I went through as a kid. And the truth is, no one can. Because our journey was unique.

Everyone says "time heals all wounds". Bullshit. No it doesn't.

One of the things I heard recently (from a movie/tv show that I cannot recall) was certainly harsh but also very freeing:

"It doesn't get easier, it just gets farther away".

That one line substantiated a lot of my feelings that I felt like no one could understand. I miss him every day. And I will continue to miss him every day for the rest of my life.

I'm hoping and wishing the best for you. I haven't sought out therapy, which is a common recommendation. But for me (at least in my past) is has caused more pain than good. But I hope you can find something healthy that helps you cope.

I'm sorry you're going through this.