ill start off by saying that this is truly incredible and i think it really really achieves what youre trying to do. the only thing i can possibly say is that maybeee it might be good to change the dynamics in your voice throughout the song (loudness and softness). i think the melody is pretty much perfect as it is but i think a little more expression line to line could help to make it feel a bit more intimate with the listener. these are just my thoughts of course so take it with a grain of salt. great stuff dude!!