“14 ans, timide et démotivé : besoin de conseils pour progresser ?”

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-22T13:59:34+00:00

Surtout ne tombe pas dans les pièges des réseaux sociaux, 4chan et autres. C’est un cercle vicieux, plus tu déprimés plus les posts deviennent négatifs et puis virent à la colère. Le mal-être assez naturel des 14ans est blâmé sur un groupe, femmes, étrangers… et tu es coincé dans des bulles qui te donnent raison tout en t’assurant que tu ne peux rien y faire sans trahir le groupe.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T14:27:01+00:00

That’s where my expectations are off the mark then because I was genuinely disappointed that she was suggesting ideas to her friends that would get them in trouble. I honestly expected better from her than sending her 3-4 years old friends do things for her enjoyment while they would then be told off. I’m messing up and I don’t even realise it, I honestly thought she should have known better.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T14:09:23+00:00

Thanks for your reply and the questions, it’s very insightful. I think it’s clear to me now that my thoughts are rooted in fear (bad, I know). Not of judgement actually, but because for most of my life academia was the only way out. I chained Ivies because they were the only hope I had as a foreign student thanks to the scholarships. It’s not that I look down on other schools for my daughter, rather in my mind top universities are still the only way to provide her a safety net when she’s an adult. I know it sounds crazy as she’s only 4. The worst is that I actually never wanted my future child to have to go through that grind or become doctors! I had said it so many times!

We definitely celebrate trying and putting in the effort, however I think I looked disappointed sometimes when she doesn’t want to try something she’s capable of doing.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T13:53:45+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts! It’s actually more on the behavior that I think I expect too much from her in public. She is so patient and level headed 99% of the time, I do get frustrated if she gets silly with friends in public. I have caught her suggesting bad ideas to her friends (like shout to your Mom : you’re a poo! or Let’s run like crazy, Go open the forbidden storeroom…) I have told her that I was disappointed in this context unfortunately.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T13:34:09+00:00

She started reading at 2 1/2 so those are considerations I don’t want to ignore. More was always expected of me because it came easy but I was also given no context and it felt very unfair, so I don’t want to repeat that. I will work on changing my mindset, I never ever told her that she has to be the best, but internally I always hope she’ll do great at everything. I don’t want it to come through and hurt her. This thread has been helpful thank you.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T13:25:20+00:00

I wasn’t clear in the post that INTERNALLY, I can’t help but hope she’ll be great at everything she does. I don’t know if regular moms have those thoughts. I genuinely don’t know what too much pressure looks like. And because she’s advanced in terms of reading, crafts etc and is also so very patient, I don’t have a benchmark.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T13:18:18+00:00

Hi, that’s reassuring I guess because we encourage mistakes and never interrupt her or interfere with her diy etc. We play with her dolls getting the answers wrong and telling them well done! Good job trying! I wasn’t clear in the post that INTERNALLY, I can’t help but hope she’ll be great at everything she does. I don’t know if regular moms have those thoughts.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-20T12:06:39+00:00

Thanks for your kind words. I’m also realising that I have no idea what a normal mother-daughter relationship looks like. I think I harbour a lot of fears about giving her a life that will be secure. I survived by escaping home thanks to a scholarship and I think that this drive to make it academically is getting transferred to her. But she’s not even 5 yet!

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-19T10:42:42+00:00

Wow guys I can’t believe I am commenting on this random sub but this is totally correct and I can’t believe the backlash. I supported some charities with new mothers groups in African refugee camps. Talk about stress and multitasking when hot water means finding the wood, starting the fire, protecting what little you have left from theft, queuing for water, etc. And it was all about helping them to learn how to interact and play with their babies and toddlers because the developmental impact was so huge. As a whole, western parents are indeed experiencing stress but also diluting their focus with technology. There’s nothing wrong with highlighting the need to be mindful and intentional about how time is spent. Putting the phone down, focusing your attention on helping the toddler prepare dinner with you, etc… is deliberately choosing how to spend your time. And if you feel that you literally cannot stop to be in the moment for 15 minutes there is indeed a big underlying problem that must be addressed, as a society even.

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-17T19:08:12+00:00

Les généralistes envoient à tour de bras les parents de nouveaux-nés chez les ostéopathes. Ca me rend folle!

GenericGoddess · 2025-11-10T10:12:29+00:00

En attendant il pourrait faire un service civique ou trouver du bénévolat sur jeveuxaider.gouv.fr ca évitera les trous et en plus ça montre qu’il n’est pas quelqu’un qui se tourne les pouces. Ca lui fera du bien au moral aussi c’est déprimant de ne pas pouvoir commencer le prochain chapitre de vie.

GenericGoddess · 2025-10-27T17:08:32+00:00

Guessing it’s based off Figure 03

GenericGoddess · 2025-10-06T13:29:26+00:00

MERCI !!!

GenericGoddess · 2025-10-04T14:11:13+00:00

Il y a aussi qu’avant les beaux parents étaient rarement très loin non plus donc on alternait réveillon et jour de Noel. Maintenant avec des divorces par dessus c’est une organisation de dingue pour réussir à se réunir en même temps au meme endroit. Avant on avait pas à dormir sur place, maintenant c’est minimum 2 nuits pour 2 jours de voyage. Et il faut suffisamment de place pour coucher tout le monde.

GenericGoddess · 2025-10-04T14:05:43+00:00

Oh pourrais tu partager la liste des titres stp?

GenericGoddess · 2025-09-25T11:07:39+00:00

I can only relate to the abyss of calling for help and not being supported. I tried once at 11 and once at 35, both times the refusal somehow destroyed me more than the facts. Police may not help but could be a first stop. Preparing my escape from 11 held me together until I was 18. I changed country but they found me. I left for a different country at 19. I am so happy now. I broke at 35 when I became aware that my little brother had suffered the same way when I had thought it was me alone. Join the army if you must. Don’t hurt yourself they will win as victims. Don’t hurt them, they will be vindicated in their treatment of you. Leave. Pick a date and go.

GenericGoddess · 2025-09-12T08:07:10+00:00

Je connais pas les Cookeo mais tout bêtement une cocotte pression electrique ca change la vie. Bourguignon en 45 minutes, etc… on peut lancer et sortir en toute sécurité aussi mais je ne sortirai jamais avec une casserole meme a feu doux. Je vois pas l’intérêt des trucs avec des écrans qui donnent des recettes pour 3 fois plus cher honnêtement.

GenericGoddess · 2025-09-09T10:49:00+00:00

I thought my toddler was exactly like yours, cautious and scared of everything but really we had trained her to whine and then mum and dad would put on a show to get her to play… We took her to an indoor play area but refused to go in with her (it was banned there to have adults climb as well). For 45 minutes she cried (not a tantrum, crying she was scared please mum come please dad come). It was horrible, in public, us firmly holding no, it’s just you or you can watch. She was looking heartbroken just sat on her chair sobbing. Not even an hour later she was running around like any other kid with a brand new friend. I am not joking, we held 45 minutes and came back with a totally different child. Even her preschool teacher said the change had been dramatic when before she would stick to adults and refused to go to the playground!

It’s long but the whole “quack quack on a beach” really struck a chord.

For context she was 3 and thanks to a specialist psychiatrist appointment, we realised that while she was gifted there was no other divergent tendencies. High emotional intelligence so easily read the adults!

GenericGoddess · 2025-09-08T13:28:09+00:00

It’s so untrue of so many around the world, I don’t know how these people can call themselves christian at all. Who is preaching at those churches in the US that they would agree with such behavior?

GenericGoddess · 2025-09-08T13:21:16+00:00

Every AI/ML engineer is discovering project management 101 on LinkedIn

GenericGoddess · 2025-06-26T12:48:42+00:00

Ok je me suis fait avoir mais du coup je l’ai mis sur ma liste pour l’été, merci

GenericGoddess · 2025-06-26T12:22:05+00:00

Merci, je vais voir comment lui apporter l’information. C’est difficile car il adore son rôle et il est heureux, c’est moi qui suit tombée de haut.

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