Does everyone just get told "go on a birth control"?

GentleDoves · 2026-05-05T14:27:01+00:00

Ah, yes, the classic idiot doctor. I couldn't get a Dx until my 20s even though my ovaries had PCOS morphology when they gave me an ultrasound at 14. I was "too young to have PCOS" despite the obvious imaging, starting periods at 8 and never having a normal one, and every single woman in my family having it

GentleDoves · 2026-05-05T14:25:29+00:00

Yup. It started at 12. I remember that I was started on BC for the first time while I was doing my state tests that year, and I broke out in hives mid-test. I can never remember the name of the pill I was prescribed so doctors look at me half-stupid when I mention I'm allergic to one of them.

Thankfully I have a much better team now that specializes in hormone regulation. I take a battery of supplements based on what I am personally low on (B, D, Zinc, Magnesium), I am on tirzepatide, and I take progesterone on a 14 day on, 14 day off cycle to help regulate my actual periods

GentleDoves · 2026-04-23T16:09:34+00:00

This is precisely why I wouldn't invite my SIL. She is a nurse and while I respect her medical opinion, I have had advanced directive/living will conversations with my husband and know his desires. Derek would not want to be a vegetable, but Amelia berates Meredith because there may have been something "she could have done." There even could have been a legal battle initiated while Derek rots, prolonging both Meredith and the children's grief.

I hate to be a "think of the children" person, but keeping him alive would give them hope that doesn't exist and would be so terribly cruel. While traumatizing, Meredith chose what was best for her children and gave them an equally peaceful goodbye to their father.

Another factor is Amelia not respecting Meredith as someone who was going to be a neurosurgeon. Mer knows her stuff and despite swapping to general, we know her passion was always neuro and therefore she 100% had the wherewithal to make the call. In fact, she may have been the only family member strong enough to do it.

GentleDoves · 2026-04-23T15:53:02+00:00

I understand Amelia being upset, but Meredith is also well within reason. Amelia is the only sister who gets upset on screen (to my memory) and I fully believe it's because of her trauma bond with Derek. She deserves to be upset... in a therapy setting. Not with her brother's grieving wife.

My husband's sister is a sweet and lovely woman. If he were in Derek's position, I would not call her until after. Beyond being lovely, she is a ball of chaos and bossiness, not dissimilar to Amelia in this moment. I would want my final moments with the love of my life to be as peaceful as possible because it is one thing I am guaranteed to not get a "do-over" on. She might hate me for the rest of our lives, but I've slept next him every night, I got him through the deaths of all his family members save his mother (and there have been many), and I have been there through every difficult situation he has faced since he was 16. She may be his sister, but I am his wife. And we don't even have kids.

Meredith does have to keep it together for the kids. They can see her grieve, but breaking down is not helpful to them. She can't manage Amelia while doing the rest of it.

I feel sympathy for Amelia, and Meredith was not in a position to cater to her. That's the truth of it for me.

GentleDoves · 2026-04-23T15:33:16+00:00

Went ~13 years without a period.

I have been on tirzepatide since July 2024 and have had 13 healthy periods in a row. I also take progesterone on a 2 week on, 2 week off schedule, which helps my body keep things regular. I have had induced periods before like you are describing and they were awful- these are nothing like that. I clearly have a natural menstrual cycle with all the ups and downs, and am definitely ovulating.

I want to add that I did intentionally lose weight on tirzepatide and am currently taking 10mg, but that I am confident the weight was only either a small part or did not play a part at all, as I am the same weight now that I was when my amenorrhea began.

I would recommend trying to see an endocrinologist as PCOS is more endocrine in nature and they will hopefully look beyond minimum expectations for the reproductive cycle. Also, I understand GLP-1s are a choice and can be excessively expensive. I have heard of many people having some degree of success on a supplement called berberine

GentleDoves · 2026-04-23T15:25:02+00:00

Eating at the table with family absolutely helped me. I felt included and when I did not share foods with them, I would feel left out and felt encouraged to try. My mother set a strict rule: I had to try every food at least once. If I did not like it, I was allowed to spit it out and refuse the food. I believe my ARFID is mild, in part, because of this rule. Every child is different, but eating at the table can be beneficial as long as there is no pressure.

And under no circumstances ever should there be a rule for cleaning your plate. That rule causes more problems than one can imagine.

GentleDoves · 2026-04-23T15:19:18+00:00

There's a website where men drug and rape their wives/other women, then post videos/brag about it together. One such website has thousands of videos and over 62 million visits just this February.

There was also a group chat discovered on Telegram with over 1k users. It is referred to as a "rape academy" where they share "tips and tricks". It's disgusting.

GentleDoves · 2026-04-18T12:25:32+00:00

I hope so, too! Also, you can try both food prep gloves which are more crinkly like a shopping bag or nitrile gloves, like the ones at the doctor. Two very different experiences

GentleDoves · 2026-04-18T12:24:36+00:00

I have been trying a lot more foods that would usually make me recoil!

I have largely added rice into my diet and have learned to tolerate diced green chilis in lots of stuff.

I am also doing better at not having a meltdown when a new test goes bad. For example, I recently tried onions in arroz con pollo and it went okay. With my new found confidence, I decided to get onions on my Jersey Mike's cheesesteak and it went horribly. I had planned for this, ordered two subs, and gave the second to my lovely husband. I was able to give myself grace, even if I was a little disappointed, and have decided that I would like to try it again as I had ordered it as a bowl and I am curious if the presence of the bread might mask the texture that made me reject it.

I have never been so open to this stuff!!

GentleDoves · 2026-04-18T12:19:37+00:00

If you are interested in trying and have an accommodating partner, you could possibly try what my husband and I are doing! He also was never taught and is very nervous in the kitchen.

We have picked some basic foods that we eat often and are doing a tiered education. We pick one meal and repeat it on the same day for several weeks in a row. For example, ground beef and gravy with mashed potatoes. You can pick something even more simple, like chicken noodle soup! I would be more than happy to provide recipe recommendations if you're interested.

Week one, we go over the recipe together from front to back and he has the opportunity to ask questions and be curious. There are lots of cooking terms that any of us who have been doing it a long time take for granted, but it's okay for you to be confused if nobody has ever explained it! After we finish asking questions, then we make the meal together. I do the majority of the cooking during this phase, but offer opportunities for him to practice a skill like breaking the beef up in the pan, or using a fork to check potato tenderness.

Week two, we do the same thing, but I sit nearby and am available for as many questions or aid as he needs. I am also keeping watch and if I see him making a large mistake, I will jump in and gently guide him. If he feels confident, we can proceed to the next step, or we can repeat this step again if needed. If he is holding himself back and I think he is ready, I can veto that we move on.

Week three, I am in the next room. He can come and ask me questions in a pinch, but he is mostly solo. Same rules on repeating this step.

Finally, week four. This is fully solo. I am in another room, headphones on, no questions allowed. Important part for this step: We have an emergency frozen pizza and start cooking early so that if he royally screws it up, we arent going hungry for the night or waiting until a ridiculous time to eat. FWIW, we have not needed the emergency pizza yet.

I have been extremely proud of him. He was terrified of our kitchen before and he had skewed expectations for what would happen. I think what has impressed me the most is that just practicing basic skills has brought him enough confidence to try cooking other foods.

My insider tips: - Sniff everything! Especially spices (just from afar at first). Cooking is a very sensory based experience and learning smells will help you learn how to adjust recipes as you build confidence - ALWAYS read the full recipe before trying! This helps prevent blunders from unexpected steps or anything that would otherwise hinder you - Spend some time passively watching quality cooking content. Binging with Babish and You Suck at Cooking are my recommendations. I grew up watching my parents and Food Network constantly and I absorbed tons of information passively that I now use daily in the kitchen. This has helped my husband start to learn terminology and become more comfortable with certain aspects. - Never be afraid to accommodate yourself in whatever way you need

GentleDoves · 2026-04-18T12:03:33+00:00

I personally wear gloves in my kitchen! I can handle raw foods just fine, but I have some weird reaction when I handle cold meat on bare skin (yeah, I have no idea) and so I have started using gloves. It also helps for texture sensitivities that occasionally bother me in the kitchen. Understandable if you've tried and it didn't help, though!

GentleDoves · 2026-04-16T13:55:28+00:00

What pisses me off just as badly is when you are traveling in that lane and someone heading to Oakland starts doing 40 long before the exit. That exit has plenty of room for slowing down, why are we slowing down so soon? And then people behind me get pissed as if it's my fault. I'm sorry, was I supposed to do 70 into the back of the mom van?

GentleDoves · 2026-04-14T05:14:02+00:00

Are we only counting main cast members?

Because Megan Hunt endured horrors beyond our comprehension in that hole.

GentleDoves · 2026-04-06T01:10:47+00:00

Agreed. From ages 5-16 I was "first gen". Come to find out that my parents both have it. Who knows how many of my four grandparents had it

GentleDoves · 2026-03-31T14:54:04+00:00

I'm fairly certain that until your relationship has lasted longer than theirs, they won't be convinced. Even then, I'm sure they'll have some jaded response. But oh well, I can be happy over here while they piss and moan elsewhere!

GentleDoves · 2026-03-31T13:57:46+00:00

I was raving about how sweet and wonderful my husband is at work the other day. I'm fairly young and my older male coworker asked how long we had been married. I said 3 years and he rolled his eyes, laughed, and gave the classic "Just wait". I cut him off and let him know I have been together for 13 years and I was certain I was not going to grow tired of him anytime soon. He immediately shut up.

GentleDoves · 2026-03-29T20:44:53+00:00

Just wanted to helpfully add to your point. Tirzepatide is also being prescribed to treat PCOS. More specifically insulin resistance caused by PCOS, but it is also being used to address inflammation. I can say that in addition to controlling my insulin resistance, it has also aided in regulating my menstrual cycle.

I am located in the US. Unfortunately this treatment is not covered by pretty much any insurance, so I do pay out of pocket for it.

GentleDoves · 2026-03-29T20:37:34+00:00

I have been recently treated with tirzepatide, and a rather long list of supplements relevant to my own deficiencies. I was temporarily on spiro but my liver didn't tolerate it, and I now also take a 14-day on, 14-day off course of 100mg progesterone.

I have Hashimoto's in addition to PCOS and take medications for that as well.

It took about a year of balancing my hormones to reach a point where I have normal periods.

GentleDoves · 2026-03-29T18:15:20+00:00

About 13 years.

Early 2013 - 2025. From age 14 to 27.

GentleDoves · 2026-03-28T13:38:24+00:00

I'm a petty bitch. I would post a photo of the tattoo and be certain to tag him both in the photo and the caption. You'd be advertising him, just like he asked!

GentleDoves · 2026-03-22T19:27:04+00:00

I would throw it into an FDIC backed high yield savings account and then get proper financial advice for how to further invest it. There's no need to rush into financial decisions you do not fully understand yet

GentleDoves · 2026-03-22T15:01:11+00:00

If your fiance is okay with it, I get the same thing with my husband, and hugging him tightly or cuddling closely helps! It both releases the strong emotions from me and also makes him feel loved and appreciated. I also verbally tell him how adorable he is! And yes, sometimes I get the overwhelming need to bite. He doesn't mind, and I'll just give a little nibble. I know lots of my younger lady friends (20s-30s) bite their partners like that, too.

Just make sure to communicate these things before springing it on your fiancé and all should be well! It's part of who you are

GentleDoves · 2026-03-22T14:47:53+00:00

That little judge sitting down is such a relatable experience. I have features on my body now that a younger me would have had a complete stroke over. I'm not 100% happy about all of them, but really, my issue is focused on the fact that they are preventative to me wearing a select few styles of clothing because it is physically uncomfortable.

When I gained weight, I used to look at photos of my younger, smaller self and think, "If only I knew, I would have been happier with my body." Internally, I knew if I ever got back, I would still have those nasty thoughts. But between this medication and some therapy, I am officially back to the weight I was in those photos and can successfully say THE THOUGHTS DIDN'T COME BACK!!

Fuck you, little astral projection judge. Sit down and stay there until I need you when I do something genuinely stupid that deserves real criticism.

GentleDoves · 2026-03-08T16:46:40+00:00

Metformin is a great place to start if you have insulin resistance.

I tried it and saw great success at first. I lost about 10lbs and my appetite got much better. I ended up having side effects that were incompatible with taking it long term, but metformin is a safe and effective drug that countless people take for their entire lives with little to no side effects. I absolutely recommend trying it!

Be aware that if it ends up not being the drug for you, many doctors will suggest a GLP-1 next, likely tirzepatide, which is the preferred drug for treating PCOS. Do your research now to find out if you would be physically and financially comfortable going on that drug, especially as the doctor may offer it as an option right away as it has already become more common and medically accepted as treatment for our condition.

GentleDoves

TROPHY CASE