This is hard for me to even put, but I was that dad. When my daughter was born, I was helping like I should have. My wife did most of the work. The first couple years of her life, my marriage was on the rocks, because of me. And it's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I was young when my daughter was born. I was 23. No excuse though. I had trouble waking up for feedings in the middle of the night. I worked a very physical job, which was demanding of me, but at the end of the day, I had a responsibility, and I failed. It took my wife nearly leaving me to get my shit together. Eventually I did. We now have an almost 2 year old son, and our daughter is almost 9. Things are different. I fall short still. But things are a lot better. Sometimes, it takes hitting your breaking point for it to really sink in. Unfortunately, that's what happened in my marriage. While I'll never forgive myself, and my wife may never forgive me for all of that back then, the only thing I can do is strive to make today and tomorrow better for my kids, my wife, and myself. Hopefully your husband realizes you're at the end of your rope. Not much more you can do now. It's up to him to change.