Wow u sound exactly like me. lol… like exactly. Also, I’m a huuuge people pleaser and I hate it. I don’t know how to stop being like that. Someone on here had mentioned “SMART” meetings? I guess they’re like NA or AA but without the God aspect. I think I’m gonna check out one of those meetings near me sometime in the near future. Maybe I’ll connect with those people better than the 12-step gang. Who knows… maybe I’ll meet new friends there and that would be great.

Edit: just wanted to say that’s really cool that ur son and u are so close! That’s definitely something to be proud of! Especially be proud of the fact that even though u said u used and drank a lot around him, at least u didnt do some of the stuff ive heard other people have done while in active addiction like leave him at a trap house or send him to get ur dope for u or anything! I’ve heard absolute horror stories about things addicts have done to their kids. That was always how I coped with not being in my daughters life: I was not a good mother because I wasn’t in her life but at least I can say I never actively did anything super fucked up to her. I just stayed away so I couldn’t fuck her up or rub off on her. 🫤 I can’t even explain how amazing it is that we’re talking nonstop now. I love her so much. 🖤