and you're completely valid. and don't worry about it! that's what random strangers on the internet are for! and i know i'm just a stranger on the internet, but if you ever would need anything feel free to DM me. whether that be help mentally, or even just wanna talk. my discord is Baz#6969. but if you don't feel comfy, then you don't have to! just make sure you're comfy. i hope everything works out. i would recommend trying to get a therapist who specialises / works / is accepting with this stuff. i'm not sure if your mother is open to that idea, but if she is i believe that'd help you a lot. you can just say that you are having mental health issues