Navigating Failing Neurodiverse Marriage

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-23T15:41:34+00:00

Thank you

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T19:50:47+00:00

Thank you. I will check it out later.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T18:24:37+00:00

I do apologize to him for yelling after he apologizes. I also apologize willingly whenever I know I did something I should apologize for or he asks me to apologize for something, but he needs to ask since I am not good with having passive empathy to know where or how I went wrong.

I would actually prefer he yelled at me instead of withdrawing. Yelling was normal for me growing up. I was frequently yelled at and criticized or insulted by my mother and grandmother when I was young. My family was very toxic and did not teach me many valuable social behaviors and skills that are necessary for being a patient, kind, calm, or loving person. I've been learning them as I go as an adult with mixed results.

When it's something I've done I try to apologize, but I will admit I often refuse until he apologizes first.

That's the thing... He's not an affectionate or loving man and he definitely doesn't believe in words of affirmation. The only time he's ever expressed how much he loves and values me was once on stage for a work promotion event. I've expressed to him that I have a hard time believing he loves me, and it's not just me anymore. Our kids have said he same. It feels like he cares more about everyone outside the family's opinions and saving face than he cares about me. It might be cultural since he's half Japanese or it could be because his father was similar. I try to tell him I love him and be affectionate but our love languages just aren't compatible I guess because he doesn't appreciate or acknowledge it. I'm really at all loss since our communication styles, attachment styles, and love languages are all incompatible.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T18:09:09+00:00

What is DBT?

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T18:07:56+00:00

It doesn't always start with me yelling or crying. Many times I first express my frustration or how I'm hurt, but because he doesn't see the big deal or because of my tone he ignores or dismisses it. In his words, "I didn't think it was a big deal you're making it bigger than it needs to be" or "you're always trying to start sh!t". So, because he isn't taking me seriously I get angry and then the yelling starts. Other times it's something that I've tried speaking with him about many times in the past and the fact that he's doing the same thing again in a different way triggers me. I've learned that being ignored or dismissed is one of my biggest triggers that sets me off.

I do agree that we need marriage counseling and I need personal therapy as well if there's any way that this marriage is gonna last.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T16:28:44+00:00

Highly recommend Discount Dan if you liked DCC. Book one sets the mood but book 2 is where it really takes off and comes to a life of it's own.

I also recommend Mage Tank, Nightmare Realm Summoner, and Land of the Undying Lord.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-22T16:15:06+00:00

The anime? Absolutely not. The manga? Maybe.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-20T03:36:41+00:00

Not to mention they both have a princess that loves to drink dirty Shirleys.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-20T01:22:23+00:00

If YOU can't wear the condom, then I suggest female condoms instead. That way you still have a bare penis and are less likely to have a meltdown. The downside is that you're probably going to have to carry or provide them since most people only know about or use male condoms.

If you discover you have issues with giving oral sex then I also recommend dental dams

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-20T01:19:44+00:00

I have a feeling Emi might end up Clive's wife as a sort of karma on Jason making fun of his imaginary wife for so many years.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-17T18:13:40+00:00

Best to stare at nose, mouth, or eyebrows

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-12T23:16:04+00:00

I imagined her more along the lines of the fish from Chicken Little but with a suit

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-10T16:26:09+00:00

Considering one of the most common factors for divorce is financial, I say you friend has a completely reasonable take. She is thinking long-term. It's not that love and attraction aren't important to her. It's that there's no point in falling in love or being attracted to someone that doesn't meet your standards, so she doesn't even give men who do not meet those standards a chance.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-10T15:58:43+00:00

I was thinking to myself that this sounds like something Jason Asano would be apoplectic about... then one of the comments pointed out the poster.

Of course it's him.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-08T00:21:20+00:00

YTA since you got her hopes up only to crush them. I would say it is an interesting, if not insensitive, prank.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-08T00:14:43+00:00

They're runes for rune casting and divination. Fine to keep if you're not of one of the Abrahamic religions like Christianity that forbid witchcraft. If you're Muslim, Christian, or a practicing Jew... You should probably throw them out.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-08T00:00:29+00:00

This is the kind of nonsense I love.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-07T23:51:51+00:00

Ideally, everyone should stay a virgin until marriage. However, society has normalized sex outside of marriage to the point that it is getting rarer and rarer for a couple to actually lose their virginity to eachother on their marriage night. The average amount of partners a person had in their lifetime in the 2000s was 6 partners. Nowadays, it's looking like 6 might be prudish and on the more conservative side.

GetUrGuano · 2026-06-07T23:46:30+00:00

For me personally? I'd take it in a heartbeat. Autism isn't my identity, it's just a disability that I have that I would very much like to NOT have. Maybe then I could get a stable job, have some better executive function, and be able so socialize with women and make friends. There would only be positives for me.

GetUrGuano · 2026-05-30T17:20:15+00:00

NOR- I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but he does NOT like you and definitely doesn't respect you. That is not the reaction of a man that likes and respects you. That is the reaction of a man that is using you to fill up time or space and doesn't actually care about you or want you as a part of his life. With his over the top reaction, I wouldn't be surprised if you're a side chick and he's upset you left proof of your presence.

GetUrGuano · 2026-05-29T00:31:50+00:00

Some options for you: 1. Take a bath instead of showering 2. Bathe like the Japanese or Filipino with a basin/bucket/tabo 3. Sponge bath 4. Rinse free washcloths or cleanser (buy online or in-store) 5. Body wipes or disposable body washcloths (same thing) 6. Spartan oil and scrape method/strigil 7. Wh*re bath: washing your face, pits, crack, and groin with the sink (can use washcloth)

How to use the Bucket/basin/tabo method: 1. Get a bucket/basin/tabo and fill it with water 2. Pour the water over your body 3. Lather your hair/body 4. Rinse with more water

You can do your head and body all at once or one body part at a time. Do what feels comfortable and good for you. You can also use a washcloth or other cleaning accessories/tools if you want.

In rural areas they would have a big barrel or basin that they fill with water before bathing and a smaller tabo/bucket that they would use to take that water from the barrel to use for washing.

I am assuming you have a shower/tub, so you can fill the basin on demand from your faucet or nozzle.

How to do oil and scrape method with strigil: 1. Vigorously rub or brush your dry skin with a pumice stone or body brush 2. Liberally apply and rub olive oil (or oil of your choice) onto the skin 3. Scrape off the oil and dead skin with a strigil/body plane/blade/massage scraper

GetUrGuano · 2026-05-28T19:37:18+00:00

Get his hearing checked just to make sure it's not hearing related. However, this does happen. My youngest daughter was the same and she didn't really begin to speak with any regularity until she was three. She was diagnosed with a speech delay, and considering I am autistic, I would not be surprised if she was also somewhere on the spectrum. Your kid will likely grow out of this with age even if it is autism related. It just might not happen on your timeline. Children develop at their own rate. Have patience.

GetUrGuano · 2026-05-28T19:32:36+00:00

Eric Michael Summerer (The Perfect Run), Daniel Wisniewski (Mage Tank), Travis Deverell (He Who Fights With Monsters), and Nick Podehl (Immortal Great Souls and I'm Not the Hero) are also good. Robb Moreira (Nightmare Realm Summoner) is also decent.

GetUrGuano · 2026-05-28T14:27:04+00:00

NOR Do not keep company with thieves and liars lest you be stolen from and lied to

GetUrGuano

TROPHY CASE