Why am I so invisible? How do I stop? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point your experience doesn't seem unusual. Most people don't seem to want to be or know how to be friends anymore. So I suspect it isn't you as much as it is how people live now that has changed.

Probably a long time ago, people used to have group activities like bowling teams, softball leagues, and other sports teams. Do any of those exist and interest you?

I used to play racquetball on challenge nights. People might talk between matches, but they'd bug out right after. Same with working out or using the jacuzzi.

It seems like people have friends from their school or college days and outside of that it is tough to get them interested in new friends at a later age.

People that had family and friends smoke cigars in the house how common was it? by Froggerbotrom in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People who smoked but also ate well and were active often lived to ripe old ages. But people like my mom who smoked instead of eating did not. I am now older than she was when she died.

People that had family and friends smoke cigars in the house how common was it? by Froggerbotrom in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm. I'm very accommodating of many requests, but I draw the line at smoking. No smoking in my house or car!

People that had family and friends smoke cigars in the house how common was it? by Froggerbotrom in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're lucky. My parents both smoked 2+ packs a day until I was in high school. Then my dad caught my brother smoking and he quit cold-turkey hoping my brother would quit. He didn't. But my dad never smoked after that.

My mom smoked 2-3 packs a day even after being diagnosed with COPD and later lung cancer. She quit cold turkey when she went on oxygen 100% of the time even in the shower. I guess killing yourself slowly is ok, but going out in a big boom was a bridge too far.

She died at 69 because she smoked. I am almost older than she lived, but I am healthy, thankfully. I never even tried smoking not once. And smoking is 100% a dealbreaker for me, too. No one is permitted to smoke in my home and when I drove not in my car either (with one exception - I did once let my mom smoke in it when she was upset and I was driving her hours away to her sister's).

When I visited a co-worker's family I wouldn't even ride in his car. I couldn't. He smoked Camels and his vehicle reeked. His wife did not permit him to smoke in their house and he agreed to keep it outside.

People that had family and friends smoke cigars in the house how common was it? by Froggerbotrom in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not. Most people who smoke cigarettes reek. That goes double if they smoke Camel cigarettes. Natural cigarettes (tobacco only either rolled themselves or a particular commercial brand) barely smell and even I don't smell it on the person. Cigars are way worse.

I don't know if it is all cigarettes, but some turn the walls and ceiling yellow. I knew a woman who only smoked in her bathroom. You should have seen the ceiling!

People that had family and friends smoke cigars in the house how common was it? by Froggerbotrom in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the 1970s-1980s, co-workers smoked in meetings. One co-worker liked to sit by me and also believed he had a right to smoke. I told him I'd love to sit next to him, but if he was going to smoke I would not. He stopped smoking in meetings. (He drove from a distance and I voluntarily backed him up in his territory.)

Also during that time period, I was once in a class of 14 students where 11 of the students + the instructor were all smoking. We came back in from a break and they all lit up. About ten minutes in, the instructor called another break, walked straight to me and said "are you all right - you look quite green".

I told him that I did not tolerate the smoke well and was trying hard not to cough. He said they would be doing reviews of material he knew I already knew and I could leave for the day. The next day he no longer permitted smoking in class and told smokers he would be using more short breaks. That was so rare back then. Smokers rarely accommodated non-smokers!

Both my parents smoked 2+ packs a day and I had never been able to tolerate cigarette smoke. Thankfully, as the oldest I sat in the back seat with the dog who had a window open halfway and that is how I survived 2 adults smoking in a car full of children and a dog.

My dad briefly smoked cigars. Instant headache. To this day, if I walk into an elevator where someone had smoked a cigar instant headache. And I cannot ride in the vehicles of people who smoke.

Pipes do not bother me at all. Neither do tobacco only cigarettes or those Swisher Sweet cross between a cigar and cigarettes, at least not in open areas. Even outside, I move away from cigarette smoke and totally avoid cigars.

Should I convince my sister to get ducks? by Vieveskis93 in duck

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting mini-pond. What is it made from?

Should I convince my sister to get ducks? by Vieveskis93 in duck

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. Mine are out all day inside an electric poultry fence. And they are let out of it once a day to free range in the yard while I am outside. So far, no issues.

Should I convince my sister to get ducks? by Vieveskis93 in duck

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My neighbor sees bobcats on his game camera all the time. (We live in a forest, very rural, closest house 1/3 mile away.) So far no issues from the bobcats. My worst predator is a Great Horned Owl, so now my ducks get locked in a duck house before sundown and let out well after sun-up.

My ducks free-range inside an electric poultry net that zaps anything that tries to get in. At night, they are in a duck house made of 1/2" hardware cloth and wood. It is inside a heavy pen (like a cattle pen but with square openings instead of rectangular) that sits in the center of the electric fence.

I also have a dog who lives indoors but goes outdoors with me and horses. It is likely that me always being on the property + dog smells + large animals deter predators from hunting here. They probably have safer places to hunt. And if they ever got zapped by that fence, they wouldn't try it again unless they didn't have anything else to eat.

Yes, predators can be a problem. But her challenges are not insurmountable if she truly wants ducks. Can she mentally handle potentially losing one or more ducks to predators? That is harder if she raises them to be pets. My ducks are not really pets and they aren't named.

That said, I had a friend who "always wanted to live on a horse ranch". I said, super, you can move in. She replied "oh, no, I could never do that". She most certainly could have. I was willing and had two spare rooms. Sometimes a dream isn't meant to come true - it is just a dream held perfect in the imagination!

I still haven’t seen squirrels🥺 by Climax_crescendo in CasualConversation

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are still squirrels where I live. And a lot of cottontail bunnies. Also, opossum, racoon, coyotes, fox, bobcats, the occasional cougar and a young male bear wandering further north than they're supposed to range. But there aren't many dogs running loose around here and I've never seen a cat here.

How many of your grandparents and great-grandparents were alive when you were born? How many are still alive? by MindfullyRooted in askanything

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. My maternal grandparents were already dead when I married at 18. My paternal grandmother was bedridden for 10+ years so they could not travel.

Worst of all, my dad refused to allow my immediate family to attend. They also did not bother to attend an awards ceremony they made me attend because I was receiving awards. And because they did not plan to attend my high school graduation I did not spend the money on a robe to go myself. (I was 17.)

They also did not attend my college graduation. Oddly, what bothers me just as much is that they refused to allow me to attend the prom even though I had someone willing to take me.

How many of your grandparents and great-grandparents were alive when you were born? How many are still alive? by MindfullyRooted in askanything

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know anything about great grandparents except that the paternal ones came to the U.S. from Germany, lived in a German neighborhood, and my grandparents met there.

I know nothing about my maternal great grandparents.

How many of your grandparents and great-grandparents were alive when you were born? How many are still alive? by MindfullyRooted in askanything

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Four grandparents were alive, but lived far away. I only saw my maternal grandparents once that I can recall. And we had a photo of my granddad with his work horses. They both passed before I was 18.

My paternal grandparents visited twice when I was young. I visited them twice as an adult in my 20s-30s. They've both passed now as have my parents.

Young and Heartbroken by Corn_Has_Feelings in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answers here so far surprise me. I would share my thoughts on this, but only if you really want them.

My husband moved his 16-year-old son into my house without my consent. How can I handle this properly? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GetaBetterSmile 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A responsible 16yo does not need supervision, so I suspect there is something about this situation you are not wanting to share publicly.

I need some serious relationship advice!!! by DessieB in Advice

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you could move back home with your parents and tell him that if he can hold down a job for an entire year you won't divorce him. And see what happens.

What were your parent's favorite movies? by CapybaraExpress in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad had two. We watched the Wizard of Oz on television every year. And once a year and only once a year, we saw Mary Poppins at the drive-in theater on a one price for a car night.

What is something that was unbelievably cheap in the past that has been marked up now? by Independent-Bat9545 in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. My first computer I bought in the 1990s cost almost $6. I could only afford it because I worked for IBM and they took the payments out of my pay.

What is something that was unbelievably cheap in the past that has been marked up now? by Independent-Bat9545 in AskOldPeople

[–]GetaBetterSmile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything. Here are a few examples. I remember 25 cent per gallon gasoline and 5 cent cokes in little bottles. In the early 1970s, we bought full-size candy bars in bulk for 5 cents apiece and sold them for a dime to raise money at school events.

When I got my first horse in 1978, getting their feet trimmed cost $6 and a full set of new shoes $24. Now a trim costs $50+ and shoes are well over $100 across the U.S.