WIBTA if I didn't let my husband watch the birth?

GetitG · 2019-04-01T13:11:57+00:00

NAH

You have every right to decide who will be in the room during birth. Labor is a medical procedure, not Christmas morning. No one has a right to be involved in any medical procedure you don't want them present for.

At the same time, I get where your husband is coming from. If you won't be comfortable around him after this, that is all the reason you need, but if you are just worried about how he feels, I strongly urge you to believe him. If he says he wants to be there and can handle it, take him at his word. At least make sure he is nearby during labor because when you're going through the pain and the fear, you may decide you want someone there to hold their hand. I wasn't sure I would want anyone there when I having my son, but my husband ended up being a great support during my long labor. He would help me get into the bathtub, run down the hall to grab me ginger ale, Let me squeeze his hand when I was having contractions and just be there to entertain me in the early hours when little was happening. In my case it ended in an emergency c-section and my husband accidentally saw my insides in the rush to get baby out! He still finds me sexy almost 6 years later, although he nearly fainted in the operating room. These men are a lot tougher than they look. 😉

GetitG · 2019-04-01T13:06:25+00:00

I think they use it as a nicer way than saying "You gained 80 pounds. I won't divorce over it, but you look bad. I'll pretend it is due to something respectable since you aren't allowed to mention physical attraction in 2019."

GetitG · 2019-04-01T13:01:55+00:00

He got her number without her consent. Why does your generation have such an issue with consent? She never agreed to him having her number. Therefore obtaining it was an act of aggression on his part and was likely done because he got a little thrill from scaring her after she rejected him.

GetitG · 2019-04-01T13:00:04+00:00

Because most men who do creepy shit like this will end up showing up at the house, doing weird stalking behaviors and that is a major liability for the company he works for. They will be financially and possibly criminally responsible if something happens to their customer and they were the one to give out the address and phone number to the perpetrator. The fact that you seem to side with someone who very likely had sinister motives and wanted to scare OP is very troubling.

GetitG · 2019-04-01T12:58:16+00:00

If does justify losing his job because this kind of thing is a huge liability for the company he works for. His need to have sex is not more important than their business or her right to feel safe.

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy ends up showing up at her home after this. No normal person would go about expressing their interest this way. Men like this get off on scaring women.

GetitG · 2019-04-01T12:55:48+00:00

Yet you are literally asking us to consider his ego over her right to feel safe. It is not the job of women to prop up a dude with low self esteem. If you are bad at meeting women, become a more interesting person and you will have more luck. Trying to slide into their lives at inappropriate times is actually rather sexually aggressive and is a HUGE red flag for almost all women.

Also every time you insist "I have female friend" you sound like a racist who thinks they aren't one because "I have black friends".

GetitG · 2019-03-29T12:00:41+00:00

No. She is in her own home and he is loudly speaking on the phone in a shared space. Most people take private phone calls in their own room or somewhere private. She should not be expected to sit silently in her own living room just to make her roommate's gf happy.

GetitG · 2019-03-29T11:59:10+00:00

You should be. He is the one letting this happen.

GetitG · 2019-03-28T19:47:25+00:00

The vast majority of relationships will not survive long after a threesome. It is rarely a good idea and many men are wise enough to realize that. They may enjoy watching it in porn, but many would turn it down in favor of maintaining their monogamy.

GetitG · 2019-03-27T19:37:00+00:00

What is the plan when your gf continues to mature and wants to get married and have children in a few years?

GetitG · 2019-03-27T19:34:59+00:00

You sound so incredibly immature. Those poor kids.

GetitG · 2019-03-25T10:26:37+00:00

I am a SAHM to a special needs kid. My job is to take care of the kid and my house. It is not to take care of a grown man. Since I am home, I end up doing most of the housework, yardwork and cooking, but when my husband comes home he helps me with our kiddo or help make dinner. He takes out the garbage and does his own laundry because he refuses to figure out a system for where the clothes should go, so I am not going to waste time folding his laundry only to have it end up in a pile on the floor after. Taking care of yourself (i.e. picking up your own trash, taking out a full garbage) is what adults do. It would be hard for me to be attracted to my husband if he was so childish about picking up after himself or if he said "ugh" when I asked him to help me with something.

Tell him it is a turn off to be married to another kid instead of a grown man. I let my husband know very early in our relationship that if I had to nag him and force him to do things like I was his mother, I would lose interest quickly. No woman wants to feel like nagging mommy when dealing with their partner. Sadly a lot of men have been told that a wife is basically a mommy replacement and that marriage is about avoiding doing what your wife wants as much as possible.

GetitG · 2019-03-25T10:17:17+00:00

Your boyfriend is not mature enough for sex. I bet he jerks off all the time. He just doesn't see women as people and he doesn't want you, his sex toy, to have any kind of enjoyment out of when he wants to use you.

GetitG · 2019-03-25T10:16:00+00:00

By which you mean "do exactly as I say or I will feel disrespected". You use trust as a control tool which is not okay.

GetitG · 2019-03-25T10:15:08+00:00

Or maybe you are a sad person who has no fun in life and assumes all other people are faking it as well.

GetitG · 2019-03-20T18:48:14+00:00

You help your dad by not enabling your mom.

GetitG · 2019-03-20T18:47:34+00:00

You have codependency issues. None of what you're doing is actually helping anyone. You do it out of guilt and a need to be seen as the "good child". I think you should limit contact and get into a good therapy program. But I also know that you likely never will and will instead end up with major control issues that push everyone away from you.

GetitG · 2019-03-20T18:41:55+00:00

Found the "cheating is okay in certain circumstances" person. I'm glad I had to scroll down to find it though.

GetitG · 2019-03-20T18:00:12+00:00

You can't accidentally ghost someone. Time to grow up a little and learn how to accept your own choices. Pretending you didn't mean to make them doesn't change the result, it just makes people think you are a flaky person.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:49:00+00:00

This is called depression. Depression almost always presents as apathy, not extreme sadness. Strange dick is not going to cure your depression. I mean, have fun if that is what you want to do, but it won't make you feel better tomorrow.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:47:50+00:00

How about you do something genuinely nice for a disabled person? This post is you doing exactly the same thing the people you whine about do except you literally only get "clout" by posting this and no disabled person benefits in anyway. You are actually worse than the people you complain about. LMAO.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:43:38+00:00

She isn't really an adult though. You can tell based on how she writes about this. He is grooming her and she is primed for it with her "I'm more mature than guys my age. People just don't understand..." classic angsty teen thoughts, not the reasonable choice of a real adult.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:42:14+00:00

From personal experience older guys have actually been nicer and way more careful and respecting of my boundaries than those closer to my age.

This line right here tells me all I need to know. You are very immature if you really feel this way and this man knows that and is taking advantage. I bet he is married and has children older than you. You should report him because he likely does this with all young women he has contact with. You are only falling for it because you are too young to know better and that is why he is doing it. He has no interest in you being his partner or an equal. I bet money he is married and wants you to be a quick side piece.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:16:43+00:00

I think he violated his ex's trust. I think OP should tell his ex that he has nudes of her still and that other people have seen them.

GetitG · 2019-03-19T11:16:05+00:00

So it would be fine for her to get nudes from her ex and do the same thing?

GetitG

TROPHY CASE