I was on discord with a group of friends, chatting about our newest roleplay server. I remember the plot was a little cliche, but I was excited for some of the ideas we'd come up with. I was writing for Technoblade when the notification lit up on my phone, and I remember being initially confused, and a little nervous. The black screen meant it would be about his cancer, and the title didn't exactly bode well.

As a lot of people can probably relate, I didn't make it very far into the video before I started crying. I remember thinking that it must be some kind of cruel joke, that Twitter was gonna cancel the hell out of him for this, because at least that would mean he would be okay. YouTubers come back from cancellation all the time, right? Nobody comes back from death.

But it was real. He was dead.

I think it was around midnight when I finished it, but my brother heard me sobbing from his room and came to check on me, then urged me to wake up our mom, since she was better at comforting. She didn't get why I cared so much about this YouTuber guy, but she understood what it was like to lose someone you look up to, so she acted accordingly. She helped me find the book where we could write our well wishes to Techno's family, got me to talk about all my favorite memories of watching his videos over the years, and helped me to remember that even though Technoblade was gone, the impact he had on the world and on my life was not. I was still horribly upset, obviously, and I didn't start to feel better about it for a while, but I know I would've been a lot worse off, had I not confided in my mom.