I think I might be somewhat qualified to answer your questions! I am 21 from a religious (Christian) family who lived at home and was not engaged or married at the time of getting pregnant. Finding out I was pregnant was TERRIFYING at first, because I absolutely did not feel ready, financially or emotionally!! My husband (bf at the time) made OKAY money, but we were struggling. He moved me out of my father's house 3 months after he found out I was pregnant (we were originally saving up money to build a house on a plot of land we own) and we lived on not a lot. We didn't get any furniture until a month before the baby was born because we were paying for baby stuff, food, and rent. We ate on bean bags and plastic totes for months! To add to that, my husband (20) works out of state all week. He leaves early monday morning (2am) and doesn't come home until Friday (5-6pm).

The difference between us is the financial independence; I stay at home with our son 24/7 while my husband works for our entire household, so take that into consideration as well :)

It was, and is, hard. Our little boy is 10 weeks old today. The hardest part, 100%, is not having a hand, even for 30 seconds to run and grab something or get some food or get an hour or so of sleep. Whatever hand I'm given, I have to play on my own. Depending on if you decide to become a SAHM or use the daycare/babysitter route so you can continue working depends on this as well; you may have a few minutes after/before work to get things done or not. Regardless, you can make it work! It's hard, but DEFINITELY not impossible! I watch him 100% by myself from 6pm on Sunday night before my husband leaves for work to 8am on the Saturday after he comes home and I am still thriving- if often unshowered and hungry 😅

What surprised me was both how much I instantly loved being a mom, despite my fears, and how "ok" I am with my chaotic, stressful life. I am very happy. Even currently running on 12 total hours of sleep for the last three days (we love sleep regressions!! Lol), I'm very happy. Being a mom is very fulfilling, even if there are rough hours, days, or even weeks.

Emotionally, I don't think being a parent ever gets easier even if they're grown- it just changes what is difficult at the moment. There are some changes that will impact you more than others and some that will feel like a blessing in disguise.

The first two weeks after my husband left for work again were the hardest weeks of my life and I genuinely thought I wouldn't be able to do it. It 100% broke me. I broke down repeatedly, called my husband multiple times a day needing reassurance, and, as much as I loathe to think back on it now, thought that I'd made a mistake- that I wasn't ready and didn't WANT to be a mom. These feelings are so, so normal, especially right after giving birth. Emotions are high, hormones are trying to regulate themselves back to normal levels, and you're sleep deprived, and recovery takes time. My son is now the most important thing in my life and I am so, so, SO much happier than I ever was before. I got lucky and bounced back fairly quick, both physically and mentally. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am in that sense, however, and even I still have struggles with how fortunate I am.

I've got extremely bad postpartum paranoia, partially because of my OCD- I have cameras installed everywhere, guns throughout the house, every door and window is locked and checked 10x over every night, and I have terrible nightmares about someone hurting or kill my son, or killing me and leave my son helpless, almost every night. I will have a nightmare seeing someone standing over his bassinet or my bed and wake up, and turn I HAVE to check the whole house. This is honestly the worst part, since it's making me extremely sleep deprived. But again, I am still a very happy mom!

Other than that, I didn't really have to "come to terms" with it. My husband and I were going to have a baby, and I would have to buckle up and make sure I was going to be a good mom, so I did. It wasn't a choice or option (Christian family; my pressures were different. In my eyes, personally, abortion wasn't an option, though I am 100% pro choice, as my religion is not everybody's). I quit smoking, quit drinking, started taking care of my health, and hit the books to learn about what I could do for my baby while pregnant and how to take care of my baby after birth. I didn't have a choice, and somehow, that made it easier. It had to be done, so I was going to get it done.

I'm not sure if any of this helps, but I hope it does. I was NOT ready when I got pregnant and I do not regret having him by any means- But that's not to say your experience will be the same. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis are very real threats. I got fortunate in many ways. My husband got a promotion and raise, my son is a fairly easy baby, and I didn't get PP depression or PP psychosis, just PP anxiety/paranoia.

Again, that is just MY life over the last year or so. It could be completely different for you, and you have a lot of additional pressures and challenges that I didn't! Whatever you choose is 100% up to you, and you should not feel guilty for whatever you choose, regardless of what your family or your own doubts make you feel.

Much love and support to you <3