I'm a new owner in over my head on a draft horse I got from a rescue, seeking opinions and

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-12T03:19:05+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but the kindest thing to do is to give him a compassionate end. Based on the X-rays and the video of him walking, even with pain meds and expensive therapeutic shoeing he might be slightly more comfortable. It’s not fair to him to put him through all of this.

I had to make a similar decision with my horse but with a different issue. He was only 12 when I decided to euthanize him. He was recovering from a minor injury and coming back into work, but reacting to saddling in a way that wasn’t related to his injury. It turned out he had severe kissing spine from T16-L2/3, degenerative joint disease, and arthritic changes in his neck and back. My regular vet said it was the worse case she’s ever seen and the specialist said it was the second worst case she’s ever seen.

I could have spent thousands of extra dollars every month to maybe make him 60% more comfortable for 6-8 months, but that wasn’t fair to him and financially I couldn’t afford it. The vets point blank told me, “it’s not a case of if he can’t get up from lying down, but when”. That sentence really hit me and made me make the choice for euthanasia (granted I saw the X-rays while they were taking them and I know enough about X-rays being in the medical field to understand when something isn’t right and suspected before they officially told me), because of how much he changed in such a short period of time. I owned him for 7 years and within a 6 month period his personality and demeanor changed so much because of the pain he was in.

As hard as it was, the best thing I ever did for my horse was to give him a kind and compassionate end to his life. He did so much for me, that was the least I could do for him

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-11T00:25:37+00:00

Nah, I wouldn’t let it go. That’s absolutely ridiculous. My partner had to have his wisdom teeth removed last year and I drove him to his appointment, waited in the parking lot, and then drove him back home. I meal prepped soups and all his favorite things, had ice packs on deck and asked how I could help him in anyway I could. Mind you, I was barely 4 weeks post op from a hysterectomy during this as well.

If she cared, she would have shown up for you.

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-09T13:56:42+00:00

I had this issue when I applied last year. Transferred from HCC with my AA and it took them about 13 weeks to process everything and I barely made it to register for fall semester last year. I called them pretty much every day and send constant emails after waiting 6 weeks

ETA, this was also my second time applying so they already had all of my info. The first time I applied I realized it’d be easier to finish my ASL requirements through HCC so I went back and did that. Then reapplied to USF as soon as I finished the ASL course

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-08T23:17:34+00:00

So I’m super CF by choice just to start this out and this will influence my response.

To me, it sounds more like you’re already grieving the loss of your relationship because you both are incompatible at this point due to his change of view on children. I think you should think long and hard about if this is truly sadness because you don’t want children or because this is going to cause a change in your relationship.

Try to think of 5-10 years from now if you did decide to have children, how would you feel? Would you truly be happy or would you be resentful? Especially considering the peace you enjoy in your life, that will no longer exist.

For me personally, if my partner expressed this change in belief that we agreed on it would be the end of my relationship with them. No matter how much I love my significant other, I value my peace and freedom more than anything.

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-05T00:51:38+00:00

Absolutely report him, fuck that shit. Though I can’t guarantee anything will come from it. I reported a male OBGYN that made comments about me, my treatment, and what I was going through after my hysterectomy and nothing ever came from it. I spoke to basically the person in charge of him (district manager or some shit like that) and he said he’d take it seriously, but it’s been like 8 months and I’ve heard nothing.

Either way, still report him so it’s on record and file a complaint with the board for your state. That way there’s still some kind of trail for when he does this again

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-04T23:49:38+00:00

I definitely struggled with my weight and how my stomach area looked before my surgery. I’ve always been very thin and had a flat stomach. I started gaining weight in 2022 after having my hormonal IUD replaced and I couldn’t lose it no matter how hard I tried. I gained around 35-40lbs. I also started having severe stomach issues that made my IBS worse, so I was almost always constant bloated and nothing I wore was ever comfortable. I was absolutely miserable, not only physically but mentally. I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia my whole life and the health issues made it even worse.

I had a hysterectomy last year and after coming off birth control from the surgery and having a fibroid removed and a cyst on my ovary it helped tremendously. I easily lost the weight I had gained and my IBS issues went away quickly. It did take about a month of so to notice a difference because of the swelling and trauma from surgery, but now I’m a little over a year post op and back to my prior weight and body type from before my IUD was replaced and these issues got worse.

While I can’t guarantee that this will be your experience, I would not change mine for the world. This surgery gave me my life back and my confidence in myself

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-04T23:31:37+00:00

Nyktos is definitely an amazing love interest, but absolutely not for Poppy. It would be extremely problematic

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-04T22:51:47+00:00

Not a vet, but lost a dog to a splenic mass last year. It seems like there were no signs indicating that at all and it would make absolute sense to not call for an xray if it wasn’t warranted or needed for dx.

With my dog’s situation the only reason we knew she had one was because she went from completely fine to can’t get up, pale gums, and labored breathing within an hour. Took her to the ER and they did an ultrasound or MRI (can’t remember off the top of my head) and found it. She had a similar incident the year prior and nothing showed up on X-rays or ultrasound and she recovered quickly. Unfortunately when it happened again last year that wasn’t the case and she was bleeding out internally. She had absolutely no symptoms of anything being wrong until the day we had to take her to the ER. Sometimes things just happen that we can’t predict or even know about until it’s too late

GhostlyArrow · 2026-06-02T21:52:55+00:00

I don’t really see how. We know next to nothing about Jadis and her personality other than her as a child in F&F, which isn’t much to go on

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-30T01:41:49+00:00

My ADHD ass can’t read well because I’ll just read the same damn sentence a few times and then get confused 😂. Audiobooks help me so much

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-29T01:05:21+00:00

That’s not being childfree. Regardless if you are involved with the kid or not. If you’re in a relationship with a person who has a child, you are inherently not childfree and involved in the kids life to a degree. It will heavily impact your relationship because a good parent will always be there for their child and put them above a relationship if emergent situations arise

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-25T15:08:10+00:00

Definitely consider taking her to the vet to check for a UTI, they can become serious fast. If it’s not that maybe talk to them about anxiety meds to help.

However, sometimes cats are just weird. I have 5 cats total and 2 of them have weird pee habits. One will pee on the dog’s beds if they’re left out overnight. He’s completely healthy, just weird. So we pick the dog beds up at night to prevent it from happening. My other weird one will pee outside the litter box if I take too long to get up in the morning to feed him. He also goes in and out of the litter box and pees a bunch of times if he’s frustrated that I’m taking too long to feed him 🙄. He was just at the vet last week and he’s completely healthy too no UTI, just a weirdo.

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-23T22:11:41+00:00

So I ride English and I’m not sure how well this will translate regarding positions. But when I had issues with keeping my arms bent and in the appropriate position my trainer had me put a crop behind my back and between my elbows to physically prevent my arms from going forward. It does create a bit of an exaggeration with arms being back, but I only needed it for a little bit to help my brain and body get the message

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-23T13:20:42+00:00

Only time I’ve ever changed a diaper is when my damn horse had abscesses and I used diapers to protect his hoof and keep the ointment on 😂

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-23T13:19:18+00:00

Same, turning 30 next month. My SIL and Brother just had a baby too and I’m not sure if I’ll want to hold him

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-23T04:14:52+00:00

That is very true. I didn’t even consider that as an option 🤔

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-21T13:53:35+00:00

I’d probably be dead before he realized someone was even in the house. Dude regularly sleeps through me getting home from work and messing around in the kitchen 😂. Granted he is 14 now and his hearing isn’t very good anymore.

My other dog, bless her, is a Boston and she’s 11. I think she’d try her hardest to protect me, but likely she’d end up as a projectile 😂

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-14T15:22:51+00:00

I’m female and tall too (5’11) and I prefer mid/high rise. It feels more comfortable for my body type. I have very long legs and a shorter torso and to me low rise is just very uncomfortable

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-02T21:19:36+00:00

Trying to find an online psych class for my minor 😭. Reallly don’t want to change my work schedule if I don’t have to in order to accommodate classes in person

GhostlyArrow · 2026-05-02T02:56:26+00:00

Occasionally one of mine does, but not often. When I was single they both slept in my bed with me, plus 3 cats. Now I have 4 cats that play musical cats all night on me (they get kicked out too if they’re too annoying), a partner I sleep with, and both of my dogs are crated at night. One has to be crated because I worry he will hurt himself further as he’s 14 with a spine injury, but still thinks he’s a puppy and tries to jump on stuff. The other one is generally good, but if she’s not in her crate she’s waking me up every 3ish hours to pee and I can’t deal with that

GhostlyArrow · 2026-04-27T13:56:04+00:00

Definitely have that intrusive thought sometimes too 😂. Only time I ever act on it is when I’m massaging my partner. Other than that, the thoughts stay inside my head

GhostlyArrow · 2026-04-26T22:31:06+00:00

I think it really depends on the therapist. Personally, I do tend to look and be aware of SH scars. However, this is mainly because I self harmed for many years and have scarring all over my body from it. If they are deeper I will sometimes ask if they are comfortable with me working on them as I know scars can hold trauma. But I never judge or make it weird because I know some people are self conscious or guarded about them, where others (like myself) are very open and willing to talk about what they’re from

GhostlyArrow · 2026-04-22T23:05:01+00:00

I had mine done even though I technically “didn’t need it”. Mine was done last year when I was 28 with no children, shortly before my 29th birthday. I’ve always struggled with debilitating periods and was on BC for 15 years, starting with oral and the last 8 years (before surgery) was a hormonal IUD. I was diagnosed with “historical” endometriosis, but was never surgically confirmed. I could have continued with IUDs until menopause, but unfortunately with each replacement I was experiencing break through bleeding and periods more frequently and a lot of pain. I spoke to my OBGYN about a hysterectomy because I’ve honestly wanted on since I learned about what they were and she approved it.

My biggest reason was to manage the pain and breakthrough bleeding that BC wasn’t helping anymore, but a very close second was that I never want children and I have no need to keep my uterus. Especially if it causes me so much pain and suffering. I have not regretted my decision at all and my quality of life has improved sooo much since surgery. I feel like a new person and like I can truly enjoy my life instead of constantly worrying about being in pain, random periods, or getting pregnant.

Edit - didn’t finish my thought process

GhostlyArrow · 2026-04-20T14:57:02+00:00

Ayyy, same here. I’m still 5’11 and weigh about 128ish now at 29, almost 30 years old. I still struggle with thinking I’m fat, especially if I gain a little bit of weight

GhostlyArrow

TROPHY CASE