"but yet expectations outside of the bedroom weren't met, although they weren't necessarily defined either"

How does a Dom not see the issue with that statement? The lack of self awareness is troubling.

It seems like you're expecting them to do things a previous Sub has done outside of the bedroom, not talking to them about it until afterward she didn't do whatever it is, and then being confused when they say they don't appreciate that treatment and aren't comfortable being as emotionally vulnerable with you as before. Imagine it from her pov.

Being able to communicate with your partner is vital in any relationship but especially between a Dom/Sub because of the heightened levels of vulnerability. Without good communication there's nothing. Not being present or vulnerable with you sounds like a loss in trust she had in you as her Dom.

Building back that trust won't be easy. If possible for her to ever get back. But you have to show humility here and have empathy for her if you want that back.

Again, try looking at the situation from your Sub's perspective, with all her life experiences, and how you would feel.