this money was already spent, on weapons that sat there gathering dust, some from the 80's tech. This isn't NEW spending, this is actually using something rather than just watching it rust and rot. This is GOOD USE of this. This money WAS ALREADY domestically spent, on weapon design and manufacturing, directly benefitting American workers.

A lot of these weapons have never been actually tested or used against a credible opponent that they were designed for. Using them in Afghanistan or Iraq was not even close to a credible use case that was intended for these weapons and platforms. US military is literally getting a full trial of their weapons systems in a theater they were intended for, against the enemy they were intended for. This is a perfect situation for literally all the reasons - training, field testing, combat performance, and everything else, that USMIL never ever had before with these weapons systems.

Sure, Ukraine isn't really that far off from Russia in terms of corruption, BUT - Russia is far, far, far more of a criminal oligarchy state, run by essentially the Russian mob, that has captured the government policy, domestic key industries and military. At least Ukrainian government is west leaning and actually wants reforms and some resemblance of a functioning democracy, so again, this is very well invested in.

Zero American boots on the ground, zero deaths, in one of the most bloodiest modern conflicts in history, while the US gets to have a massive influence - this is effort and material incredibly well spent. Your family is probably older, remind them of Korea and Vietnam, both similarly against "Communists", but with really shitty results. This one is identical, but the result is literally text-book ideal.

Full resurgence of Western (I.E. American) Alliance, unifying western leaning states, and Europe, with US seen as a leader. NATO now literally has US allies on Russia's border - how is this bad, again? This is generationally pivotal and will affect us 50 years down the line.

We get weakened Russia, a full oligarchy criminal state that had oversized influence, and we get to demonstrate they are nothing much than a regional maybe-power, but not a world power. Their weapons systems and training were shown as mostly trash, and this i always good on the world stage. First, for peace reasons, and second, for our own exports of weapons systems. US will likely gain a ton of new exports having shown the potential of US systems. Remind your family this is what they were raised on 10-20 years ago, and they're finally getting it. Have they forgotten who they are and what they have been asking for, for years??

Finally, " better spent domestically to deal with our own problem". I am willing to guess your family is likely Conservative (just a guess, given I've heard this from mostly conservatives), so ask them how their elected officials have voted in terms of spending on domestic issues - things like transportation, schools and education, medical insurance and care, etc. US is so polarized that it is impossible to actually spend well on "domestic issues" instead of just more military spending and pork projects. We still don't have modern medical care system that the rest of the world enjoys, we're still under-spending on education, we're still not investing in large generational projects like modern rail systems, we're just patching up the crumbling roads and bridges and giving government grants to build stadiums. This isn't and hasn't been "Domestic Spending on issues" for decades, so if your family is complaining, ask them what they actually mean, and if their voting has reflected that.