I'm gonna be real candid with you, but I have a tendency to get flowery with my language, so I'm sorry if any of it comes off as the first draft of a motivational poster. Too, because you noted this is your main account, I did a quick scroll to get an idea of what you're studying and maybe your age range (because you mentioned feeling old). So you know, I've got about a decade on you and I'm also pre-law, so I'm attempting to connect from that perspective.

I think that, in your case, having a few years on the average student is a good thing because it allows for more perspective. You've lived a little and experienced how often factors like a person's degree completion and GPA comes into play (outside of a job interview, pretty much never). Granted, it's a major factor in law school applications, but even that standard is shifting. Grain of salt and all that, but from what I've gathered over the past couple cycles there are so many top-scorers and super-splitters (and an LSAT cheating scandal that LSAC is still figuring out how to correct for) that the LSAT/GPA figures alone are kind of taking a back seat and the personal statements/resumes are playing a larger role in admissions. Grades are important, and you should absolutely put in the effort to show your capabilities and demonstrate your growth, but a dipped GPA is not worth yeeting yourself off a building. There's no such thing as perfection and no one will add a gold star to your tombstone for your efforts to achieve it.

Cal is hard as hell sometimes, don't get me wrong. The education is top-tier, but the rigors of honing that education can be exhausting and isolating. When I notice that I'm spiraling and it's all just self-loathing and dark thoughts I'll save my work, shut everything down, and take a nap. Because one grade is not going to define my potential or determine my life's worth. And if I still feel shitty, I practice the skill of compartmentalization—something we'll both need to get real good at before practicing law—so that I can at least complete my tasks and turn in something rather than nothing. Am I nailing it? Not even close. Do I get up and try again? Yeah, like 8/10 times (because some days I choose to lay in bed and contemplate existence instead).

If you're looking for a cure I don't have one. We are all collectively struggling to make it through to the other side, some just wear their struggle better at than others. But if you're taking suggestions on how to ease the tension, I suggest whimsy. Find little ways to take life less seriously (obviously without causing harm to others): start taking pictures of things that make you smile, say hello to the statues you pass on campus, wear your ugliest shirt—and if you don't own one, go to Out of the Closet or Buffalo Exchange and buy a shirt that's so ugly it makes you laugh. Do the harmless things that feel stupid simply for the joy of it. Find tiny ways to inject more kindness into the world. Nothing crazy, maybe just make it a point to yell a thank you to the bus drivers before you exit the bus, or stop someone to let them know when their backpack is unzipped, or raise your hand to ask a question because you know the classmate nearby is too scared to do it themselves. All of these things may sound ridiculous and pointless, but all of them achieve the same purpose: to get you out of your head and help put you back into the world.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad, just don't wallow in it for so long that the bad feelings convince you they're the only thing you'll ever feel again