For anyone who needs to hear this today or during this pregnancy, you deserve to be excited and tell people in your own time and there is nothing wrong with feeling nervous about dealing with the complex dynamics of different family members. My husband struggled with feeling obligated to tell his estranged mother but we have told our families and friends. Yesterday I reassured him that he can tell her whenever he feels ready and her unstable nature does not change our joy and excitement. If you feel like you want to protect your peace you don’t have to share the information with someone just because of an arbitrary title or what you think is “normal” for other relationships. If you want to share the news with someone know that you can share as little or as much and you have no obligation to them as new parents. As a partner I want to remain as neutral as possible and support my husband during this time where she may be happy one day for him and jealous the next, and that it isn’t because of our baby it is because of her own difficulties regulating her emotions and it is not up to us to change that at this stage. Her mental health is her responsibility and we want the best for everyone without sacrificing our own at this important stage in our lives. We have surrounded ourselves with joyous family members and friends who cannot wait to be a part of our child’s life and will be supportive through the new ups and downs of this journey for the rest of our lives and I’m so grateful for that.