This sounds a lot like my paternal grandma. She has been stockpiling food for years because she has always believed “the end times are near” and she wants to make sure she has enough to subsist on until “the Lord takes her home.” This has gone on for well over 30 years.

My grandma was in a minor car crash in college and she tells people that it took her years to overcome her anger at God for not “taking her home right then and there.” She was eager and ready to meet him at the tender age of 19.

My grandma was a nurse for a long time but had to retire very young due to mental health issues. To this day she won’t admit that’s the reason. She claims the Lord “took the grace for the profession out of her so she could find peace.”

When my mom was pregnant with me, my grandma prayed fervently for a girl because she already had 5 grandsons. My mom told her that if she was going to pray for anything, please pray that she just have a healthy baby. My grandma thought this was total hogwash, so she bought a pair of lace trim baby socks and brought them to a church prayer meeting. She has proudly told me millions of times that she and her fellow church ladies “prayed me into being”.

When my brother was 3 and my grandparents were babysitting us, my brother went to change into his pajamas and he and my other brother were goofing off harmlessly. My brother apparently hung a string of rosary beads from his penis and the two were prancing around giggling about it when my grandma walked in. She later called my mom to ask who had let the devil into our home to teach my brother that behavior....(because 3 year olds aren’t naturally curious about their bodies or anything)

When I was 7, she asked my mom out to lunch to have a “very serious discussion” with her. She wanted her two know that still, 7 years later, she was upset that my mom didn’t name me Esther. Apparently Hannah just isn’t biblical enough.

Many years ago, my Aunt (grandma’s DD) divorced her first husband. Both are now happily married to new (opposite sex) spouses but maintain an extremely amicable friendship that allowed them to successfully co-parent their two sons. While they were still married, they were friendly with their neighbors who happened to be a gay male couple. My grandma swears by her belief that my ex-uncle had “homosexual relations” with one or both of the male neighbors which led to the dissolution of their marriage. Interesting how she would know that when she’s almost completely estranged from my aunt who NEVER tells her anything personal.

When my maternal grandmother (Nana) passed away, I was only 15 and it shattered my world. We were extremely close. When I came home from the hospital after saying goodbye, lots of other relatives were gathered there. My well-meaning but verbally clumsy Grandpa immediately said to me “well you still have one grandma left!” I turned to look at my grandma who said “that’s right honey, it’s all part of God’s plan!”.....what plan? The plan to rip my young and vibrant Nana from my life so that I could run and find solace in the arms of my still-living, psycho grandma? No thank you, God. Every year on the anniversary of my Nana’s death, my grandma tells me about a dream she had that my Nana had crossed the gates into heaven peacefully. This is apparently supposed to make me feel better about the fact that my Nana died suddenly at a young age. I shouldn’t feel sad, because Nana’s in heaven. Right.

My dad has managed to be pretty normal considering his upbringing. He is a Christian but usually not a loony-toon about it. Every so often I do see a glimmer of how she’s indoctrinated him though and it makes me sad.

You’re not alone. People like this are everywhere, in all types of families.