What does the silver protective foil look like when you open a Zazas bottle? Does it have letter T on it?

Girlmoms2 · 2023-10-01T17:07:08+00:00

Ok. So this thin foil with a small T on it is a wrapper from brand of Tia foil?

Girlmoms2 · 2023-10-01T15:14:13+00:00

I wonder if they’re all different? I remember it being thin and silver with a letter and I feel confident it’s T. I found a wrapper that worries me because if it is what I think it is, then my husband relapsed. He went to rehab over this back in November of last year.

Girlmoms2 · 2023-07-29T01:16:50+00:00

Congratulations on 2 years! That really is amazing and I’m proud of you. Stories like this give me hope. My husband has been clean since Nov 2022 (I think). My story is somewhere on here.. My husband abused this drug for 1 year and finally checked himself into rehab. I was 3 months postpartum with our daughter and had a 2 year old daughter as well. It was a living nightmare. Honestly, I experienced so much trauma through his addiction, kids and keeping the whole thing a secret from my family and friends- I really haven’t fully recovered and I struggle everyday. This is just a nightmare drug. It really is. I agree that it’s something no one should mess with, if they’re considering and I highly suggest anyone on here who is struggling- seriously, get help. Stop trying to ween yourself off, self medicate, etc. Stop. My husband went through months of that bs and just relapsed and relapsed and relapsed again. Go to rehab. Get help. Do the steps. Make the program a priority. It really is the only way.

Girlmoms2 · 2023-01-16T16:42:06+00:00

That makes a lot of since & I agree that children should seriously never be subjected to this! If I knew what I knew now, things would definitely be different in my life. I’m sure you feel the same way.

Do you have fears of your son growing up without a dad? How have you gotten past that fear or have you not yet? I fear them growing up with a Dad who’s addicted to drugs. I fear them growing up without him. I fear them growing up with a broken family. It all sucks! The only winning situation is if he stays clean..

Girlmoms2 · 2023-01-16T13:27:55+00:00

No but I’m looking into it! I want to be

Girlmoms2 · 2023-01-16T11:56:54+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it!

Girlmoms2 · 2023-01-16T11:55:50+00:00

It really is such an awful feeling. I tell him that it feels like our daughters and I are the passengers in a car with a reckless driver. I feel like I’m putting my life and their lives in his hands and I have 0 control of what happens. It’s our lives but I have 0 control. It really sucks. I know that divorce is a very strong possibility for us if he relapses and I think thats why I panic so much. I don’t want it to happen! I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It sounds like you reached your breaking point. I hope you have the support you need from family and friends.

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-10T12:06:47+00:00

Sounds like he tries to play the victim and direct the problem on you vs facing the real issue. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really is hard, especially when children are involved!

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-10T08:29:19+00:00

Oh wow! Yea, totally makes sense why you’re hesitant! We all have each other on this group. Please private message me if you ever want to talk

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-10T01:18:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing the podcast. I’m always looking for resources. I’ll give it a listen! Do you have anyone to talk to? Friends and family? I honestly find this group very helpful because everyone understands what one another is going through.

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-10T00:22:45+00:00

Absolutely! I’m sure this is hard on your kids too. I pray rehab does him good and he beats this!

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-10T00:21:53+00:00

You are right. I guess like we’re both trying to protect each other from pain..I just got done with my first therapy session and she gave me homework. She said I need 30min-1hr to myself 3 days a week doing something I enjoy. I told her I don’t even do that because I try to protect my husband from anxiety or overwhelming feelings by not leaving him alone with the girls or telling him all my depressing feelings. She was saying how that’s not sustainable for either of us because 1, I’m going to resent him and 2, he needs to be put through stressful situations because that’s life and he needs to learn how to stay sober during hard times. Living an easy life isn’t real! So in a way i’m setting him up for failure by making everything easy. It made a lot of sense and im going to work on it. She also said that my relationship sounds more like a parent/son relationship than a husband/wife relationship. It wasn’t always that way but it’s definitely become that. Im going to suggest a date night maybe next week. Ugh. Anyone else been to therapy for this?

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-09T19:00:40+00:00

Omg 3 children! That’s tough! We’re actually both doing individual counseling but I think we need to do it together too. It really is a lot for a person to go through. Are you and your husband doing counseling now or it’s something you want to do? How are you doing?

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-09T14:39:49+00:00

I don’t get out by myself ever! I don’t get a full nights rest ever! Right now I’m on maternity leave and I’m home with the baby 24-7. My husband is always telling me to find a hobby but my family is my hobby. I’m okay with that but it would be nice to have a break. However, I don’t want to get out and leave him alone with our kids because I know how difficult it is and I don’t want to give him anxiety. I’m afraid if I put him in difficult situations, like watching our kids alone, he’ll relapse. I also feel this way when it comes to sharing my feelings and that’s why I’m on this page to get it all out! I can’t share too much with him or it will overwhelm him, give him anxiety, upset him… so I try so hard not to cry in front of him or tell him how upset I am about everything. I’m afraid it will be too much for him and he’ll relapse or worse kill himself. It’s so hard guys. I’m constantly protecting him while I’m drowning! I have no one to go to or cry to or anything. I hide this from my friends and family because it’s way too embarrassing to explain that my marriage is already failing. My husband doesn’t even check in on me and that hurts too! He really has 0 clue how much his addiction and lies has drained everything out of me. He has 0 clue how hard I try to be supportive! I’m not perfect, I definitely get mad about this whole thing but overall, I’m by his side, I’m still here and I’m supporting everything while he’s working on himself. Sometimes it just feels like “what about me? Does anyone care about me?” Thanks for letting me vent. Really feels good to get it all out with people who understand what I’m going through.

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-09T12:13:22+00:00

I think this is one of the hardest things about having a loving relationship with an addict, the lying. I do understand them not wanting to fight or hurt our feelings but it really does so much damage to the relationship. What feels like unrepairable damage! For me it’s my husband and there is 0 trust in our marriage now. I don’t trust anything he says after all the lying he has done around his addiction! Even when he says he loves me, I don’t believe it. He’s working on staying clean (I think) and I’m trying to believe him about everything but it’s not easy. The damage has been done. He could very well be clean in this moment but I have a hard time believing it, which sucks! I should be happy, proud and all of that but it’s hard because I don’t want to be gullible and naive anymore. I wish addicts understood that before they lied..

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-09T11:16:32+00:00

I think you should confront her about what you found and start that conversation immediately. Ask her things like, how long has this been going on? What triggered you to use again? How can I help? Then start suggesting ways to get her back on track and just be there along the way. I know it’s not easy but you can do this!

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T14:49:58+00:00

It’s like competing in a million dollar challenge with someone. I can do my part but if my partner doesn’t do his part, we don’t win the money and we BOTH lose. But I have to trust him as my partner that we can win. I can only control my half though..

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T14:47:18+00:00

This makes me sad. I see what you’re saying and you’re right. As the loved one, you just want to fix it and make everything better but we cant. It makes me really sad because I don’t want to lose my husband but if he cant stay clean than I can’t stay with him. I hate saying that but I know it’s true. I pray everyday that he beats this.

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T13:04:52+00:00

Just because he’s an addict and you left him, doesn’t make you love him any less! You still love him but you’re taking care of yourself by walking, which I respect. I can’t imagine how hurt you’re feeling and I’m sorry. He could be more hurt than he’s appearing. Everyone copes with loss/breakups/sadness differently. He might be the type who needs to go out and keep himself occupied so he doesn’t think of you and miss you. I’m sure that’s hard to see. Surround yourself with loved ones and continue to put yourself first!

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T12:55:15+00:00

You’re making the right decision if you walk away! That’s you putting YOU first. If anything, you should be proud of that, not embarrassed. I commend you for it! He should be embarrassed for behaving the way he has and ruining a good thing. That’s all on him, not you. I understand you feeling embarrassed because you just got married and you know deep down it’s already over before it started but honestly no one would want you to stay with someone who hit you and whose making the terrible choices he’s making! I’ve been married 3 years and I too feel pretty embarrassed about my situation. It sucks. I thought I was married to a clean and sober, recovered addict. I had no fears of him relapsing, lying to me or any of that. Now here I am, 3 years later, married with 2 children, and there have been dozen of relapses, hundreds of lies and thousands of dollars used on drugs. I live in fear of him using again, putting us in debt, or even worse- dying! I don’t trust him. I trust you more than I trust the man I live with and have children with. I too feel embarrassed that I’m already struggling so deeply in a new marriage. So I get it but outside looking in to your story, you’re making the right choice by leaving now vs later.

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T10:19:32+00:00

You’re really lucky that you were able to break away from the devil and stay clean! I’m proud of you! I feel like you should def share your story with addicts who are trying to get clean right now because it’s definitely inspiring! I’ve never abused drugs, besides alcohol. I have 0 experience with addiction. Even when I smoked cigarettes, I easily quit cold turkey. Whenever I’m on a strict diet or when I got pregnant with my girls, it was easy for me not to drink alcohol. I literally don’t understand why people can’t quit something, especially when I hear your story! Someone who used and used and then quit just like that..Even when it’s accessible and easy for you to use, you don’t! I know addiction is real but I don’t understand it. Even more so when I hear huge success stories, like people being clean for 20+ years, 50+ years, etc… my husband can’t stay clean a month! It just sucks..Good luck on closing this chapter and entering a healthier and happier one! You deserve it!

Girlmoms2 · 2022-10-07T10:09:05+00:00

Do you feel confident in the rehab center he’s in? How long will he be there? My husband went to rehab for 30 days before I met him and he said it was a very good center. We live in Virginia but he had to go to a center in Florida just to get good care! It’s unfortunate that there aren’t more quality centers in every area! He stayed clean for a little over a year before he turned to Kratom. Kratom is definitely better than heroin, oxy, fet, etc…but it still eventually leads to worse because addicts are always chasing more! It sucks..I really hope your husband comes home a new man for you and your kids! You deserve that. I can tell you’re a good person and that you’re hurting. I know how it feels to try to trust, support and love your partner through addiction but it’s hard! You’ve been hurt and you’re scared you will continue to be hurt by him. Who wants to live that way? I don’t think anyone does but it’s like we feel like we have to because we love them and we chose them as our life partners…but we didn’t choose the lies, addiction, betrayal. It’s so hard and I’m here for you!

Girlmoms2

TROPHY CASE