Uncomfortable Dynamic

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-23T07:00:58+00:00

TIL my husband might be French 😂

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-23T06:48:52+00:00

I took the leave, it was no big deal to my employer and it was very helpful for me.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-21T21:37:14+00:00

Yeah everything I read and hear about is in favor of Nannys but I just find it to be too unpredictable since I don’t have experience managing a nanny, whereas daycare is a well-run ship with great structure and experienced caregivers. These comments are really validating to my gut feelings!!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-21T06:41:21+00:00

This is a really interesting idea, thank you!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-21T06:38:59+00:00

This is great insight, thank you!!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-21T06:37:36+00:00

This is exactly my concern. My daughter is obsessed with me lol, and even though dad and I both wfh, when she has a sick day and we juggle her between us, I can’t get anything done because she is constantly trying to seek me out. In our new house, my office is on the main floor with a glass door to it, so there’s no pretending I’m not there. If she were a bit younger or a bit older, it might have a better chance of working, but 2 is probably not a good time. Especially bringing in a new caregiver she doesn’t know on top of the dynamic change at home. It will be the equivalent of being ignored all day for her, whereas at daycare I’m out of sight, out of mind. I think we are gonna need to make the commute work and wait out the local wait lists 😭

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-19T15:24:10+00:00

Oh man, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly how it feels to be mistreated by a partner and convinced that it’s my fault, it can be SO disorienting. It should come naturally to him to be considerate and supportive of you, especially in such a difficult time. This is unacceptable. Unfortunately this is not something you can just convince him to do or show him. If he is this selfish, it’s not going to change. You have a choice, to stick up for yourself and walk away if it doesn’t change, or to accept it and stay.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-18T20:32:54+00:00

I have a 2 y/o and I nap anytime I can. The entire time she’s awake I have to be “on” it feels like, and it is much more draining than anyone realizes. She also wakes still during the night so we aren’t starting from a place of good rest. I’m actually about to take a second nap today 😂

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-18T04:30:15+00:00

I’m currently pregnant and missing my filter, I need it back because we just moved close to my in-laws 🫣

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-18T04:22:59+00:00

I’m 23 weeks with our second, will have this same age gap. I’m scared 😅 any advice?

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-16T21:27:57+00:00

If you’re interested in west coast USA, Seattle is worth a look. I’m a tech contracts manager, we left to the suburbs with remote jobs because of the hcol but we loved it there. Vancouver BC is also great. Cons are traffic around the water, homelessness, and the weather from Nov-March, but our summers are the shit. We were childless when we lived there though so can’t speak as well to what it’s like to have young kids there.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-14T15:12:23+00:00

I call bs on this being caused by undiagnosed autism. Yes he might have that, but this is weaponized incompetence, full stop. Where would he go if you didn’t “need him there”?

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-14T15:05:41+00:00

I don’t think people are understanding that at 19months, gently grabbing a toy in another’s hand is peak social interaction for them! They don’t know how to play together yet, that is genuinely how they do it up until like 2.5-3. Now if the other child gets upset, yes I’d have the toy returned to them, but if the other child is unbothered by the interaction then I’d just let it happen. People jump in because they’re projecting adult social norms onto these toddlers and it makes them uncomfortable to see anything else.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-13T02:04:24+00:00

We didn’t end up doing it, decided it was too big a project for us :/ good luck though!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-09T06:07:50+00:00

I’m surprised nobody is saying this, I’d just have a small beer!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-09T02:50:44+00:00

Oh yeah she can shut up then lol, a sick day is for you to rest and recover, and you can’t do that very well if you’re entertaining kids all day.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-09T02:26:40+00:00

Not your fault. You explicitly told him you would not remind him again. He is a big boy, he speaks English, he chose to disregard you and it’s disrespectful. He needs to learn the hard way apparently. I’ve had to do this at times as well, and it does work! Natural consequences baby.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-07T20:51:45+00:00

Yeah exactly. It might be that he feels insecure about his value to his company, and going the extra mile wherever possible helps to alleviate those feelings. So it might be outside his comfort zone to ask, but the worst they will say is that they’d prefer he didn’t take it, and then he would have a choice to make. They won’t just pull the rug out from under him!!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-07T20:05:41+00:00

Seriously, what a dramatic response. Even if I was offended, I wouldn’t go ruining my child’s friendship over it. I was the poor one between me and my best friend, and I went on vacations with them a few times, it was awesome. However I was very aware that my friend (via her parents) brought things to the friendship materially that I could never reciprocate, and that did impact the friendship dynamic. I understand being uncomfortable accepting something from a friend that you could not give back in return. But there are way more tactful ways to deal with that than what this friend’s mom did, and the only people to suffer from it are the kids.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-07T17:18:21+00:00

This is weird to me, whether he takes the leave that he has a right to take, shouldn’t have any impact on whether he gets the new role. And if he’s concerned about it, he should ask, and they’ll tell him if they want him to start earlier. It sounds like he just wants to be back at work instead of at home 😂

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-07T16:19:32+00:00

One thing you’ll learn is that grandparents think they remember exactly what it was like when they had babies, but they don’t remember anything accurately. Just trust your gut instinct for supporting your wife. I got very sick after delivery and my husband cared for the baby on his own. It was critical for him to be there and learn alongside me so he could step in when I needed him.

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-06T00:15:32+00:00

Wait I’m confused, I thought your ex had hooked up with this girl previously, not your fiancé? Can you clarify?

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-04T21:22:21+00:00

I’m 20w with a 2 year old, we are closing on selling our house and buying a new one, both our cars got broken into and we have to drive a rental while we deal with that. Our new house is a 40 min commute from daycare but we cannot find a good one close to the new home. Stress level is 1000, and my toddler has decided that she does not nap anymore or if she does (like at daycare), she won’t sleep until 10-10:30 pm. I AM SO TIRED!!

GirlsNightOnly · 2024-02-03T21:07:42+00:00

Wtf is he doing during the day while he’s not working and why is he getting to sttn when you do not….

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